A courtroom is supposed to be an extremely professional place. Everyone must show the judge respect and be on their best behavior, or they could face serious legal ramifications. But if someone is not used to speaking politely or using their manners, they might not be able to do so even when their attorney tells them to.
Lawyers online have been recalling the most ridiculous and hilarious excuses they’ve ever heard people use to justify their behavior in the eyes of the law, so we’ve compiled a list of their wildest stories below. Enjoy reading about all of this courtroom drama, and be sure to upvote the tales that you can’t believe are true!
#41
Got called in for jury duty one time. There was a couple dozen of us in the trial room being vetted to choose 12 of us for the case. They come up to one kid, had to have been just 18 years old. The prosecutor is going through the same questions she'd asked everyone else, then she comes up with an unexpected question.
> Do you recall what you placed on your jury summons form for your occupation?
He replied that he didn't recall. Turns out that he put "Pimp" as his occupation. She raked him over the coals about it, talking about how it was perjury to falsify the the information. Talked about the fines and jail time he could face, the whole nine yards She closed with:
> Therefore I wish to dismiss Fred Smith from this jury. He either knowingly perjured himself on the juror forms, or is engaged felonious activities by coordinating p**********n which is illegal in this state.
The kid was either very dumb, or had some pretty large jewels in order to do that. He's lucky he didn't end with a fine or something, or maybe he did after the fact. Ultimately 12 jurors were selected before my number was called, and I decided to go back to work rather than sit and watch the case.
> Do you recall what you placed on your jury summons form for your occupation?
He replied that he didn't recall. Turns out that he put "Pimp" as his occupation. She raked him over the coals about it, talking about how it was perjury to falsify the the information. Talked about the fines and jail time he could face, the whole nine yards She closed with:
> Therefore I wish to dismiss Fred Smith from this jury. He either knowingly perjured himself on the juror forms, or is engaged felonious activities by coordinating p**********n which is illegal in this state.
The kid was either very dumb, or had some pretty large jewels in order to do that. He's lucky he didn't end with a fine or something, or maybe he did after the fact. Ultimately 12 jurors were selected before my number was called, and I decided to go back to work rather than sit and watch the case.
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4points
#42
This court uses a flag with gold fringe.
Gold fringe means this court is international.
An international court needs to enforce maritime law.
Under maritime law, I am a vessel.
The woman declared herself to be a boat.
Gold fringe means this court is international.
An international court needs to enforce maritime law.
Under maritime law, I am a vessel.
The woman declared herself to be a boat.
4points
#43
Prisoner tried to claim it was cruel and unusual punishment for a guard to take his highlighter.
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4points
#44
"Sentenced to 20 years in a federal penitentiary."
"But wait, you haven't heard my reason for doing it yet."
"Sigh...Ok, why did you do it?"
"Because I felt like it.".
"But wait, you haven't heard my reason for doing it yet."
"Sigh...Ok, why did you do it?"
"Because I felt like it.".
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3points
#45
IANAL, but I have spent a fair amount of time watching "Judge Judy" and "The People's Court."
The dumbest plaintiff I ever saw was one who scraped her car against a parked RV and then sued the owner of the RV.
She even said, "I told him he shouldn't park his RV there! I told him if he parked it there, I might run into it, and I was right!"
Plaintiff thought the RV was too wide, and shouldn't be allowed on a residential street, but in fact it was within the legal limit and was legally parked.
The judge found for the defendant. He said: "If you know a hazard is there, and you don't avoid it, that is the definition of negligence.".
The dumbest plaintiff I ever saw was one who scraped her car against a parked RV and then sued the owner of the RV.
She even said, "I told him he shouldn't park his RV there! I told him if he parked it there, I might run into it, and I was right!"
Plaintiff thought the RV was too wide, and shouldn't be allowed on a residential street, but in fact it was within the legal limit and was legally parked.
The judge found for the defendant. He said: "If you know a hazard is there, and you don't avoid it, that is the definition of negligence.".
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3points
#46
I once had to sue my former roommate for $1200 for not paying the last month of the lease's rent and the bills from the last two months. She tried to say that she slid the money in cash under my bedroom door.
She also tried to counter sue for her portion of the down payment. we didn't get the down payment back and I had actually spent a few hundred doing repairs to things she had damaged. All of which i had photo proof and receipts.
She also tried to counter sue for her portion of the down payment. we didn't get the down payment back and I had actually spent a few hundred doing repairs to things she had damaged. All of which i had photo proof and receipts.
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3points
#47
Having tens of thousands of dollars, CASH, at home while claiming state benefits AND working under the table for cash. "But they (the State) GAVE me the money."
And any of the other reasons I hear for driving drunk, beating a wife/gf/former life partner, failing to pay fines, etc. I can't afford to pay my fines but I just bought a horse and horse trailer....
And any of the other reasons I hear for driving drunk, beating a wife/gf/former life partner, failing to pay fines, etc. I can't afford to pay my fines but I just bought a horse and horse trailer....
2points
#48
I can have visitors in my home twice a month. Anything more than twice a month is a violation of the County Zoning code. This rule does not apply, say, to people getting together to watch football games on TV every Sunday, but it applies to me.
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-3points