If you have problems waking up, it's because you haven't tried the new money-shredding alarm clock.
An alarm clock, which no panda would want to have - once it kicks in, it will start shredding money and keep going until you turn the alarm off. And if losing $100 is not enough to make you wake up, a little bit of jail time to the penalty might help - as Mashable already noted, in the U.S., willfully destroying U.S. currency is a federal crime:
“..Whoever mutilates, cuts, disfigures, perforates, unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, Federal Reserve Bank, or Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such item(s) unfit to be reissued, shall be fined not more than $100 or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.”
P.S.: if you know who designed it, please let us know. We would be really happy to credit the author of this ingenious money shredding alarm clock.