Raising children is a complex and often difficult task, but it is even more difficult to envision doing so without your partner. Taking care of an infant child while grieving for the loss of a loved one is an almost unimaginably painful endeavor. But if it were possible to make a choice during childbirth to save your partner or your newborn child - what would you choose?
This is the dilemma brought up by Anabel Morales in her viral TikTok.
TikTok user Anabel Morales touched upon a difficult question in her viral TikTok
Image credits: nd3000
In her TikTok video, Anabel shows herself in a hospital bed with her husband close to her. The caption in the video describes a difficult situation. In Anabel’s opinion, if her life was at risk during childbirth, she would like her husband to choose her life instead of their child’s. She further mentions that she wouldn’t want their first child to grow up without a mother or for her husband to raise two kids alone while grieving.
She has mentioned that she maintains this opinion “because I have a baby now, this is the way I think,” showing that having her first child gave her more perspective and changed her outlook.
Who gets priority in a "save the mother or the child" situation?
Image credits: anabelmoralezz
Bored Panda contacted Anabel to ask for more of her thoughts about this question. When asked whether she thinks she would approach this issue differently if she had more children or was somewhat older, she says, "I think my choice would be the same with more kids, but before I had my sons, I would have chosen my baby. I only say choose me now because I can’t leave him without a mom."
Providing her input about why this issue is such a debated topic, Annabel Morales said that in her opinion, a lot of people don't understand that even though she said "choose me" to her husband, she would still be heartbroken about the loss of her baby. Furthermore, she believes that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Image credits: anabelmoralezz
Watch the original video here:
People say that there is a clear procedure for when the mother's life is at risk - the mom's life is a priority
Although this situation may seem like something out of a movie, it happens more often than you’d think. It may also be the case that an operation must be performed to save the mother’s life, or else the mom and baby will die. In many countries, there is a standard procedure for this eventuality.
In a Quora discussion, users shared their experiences and stories about the topic. Most of the users mention that the standard procedure is to save the mother in most cases. In some situations, where an extremely difficult pregnancy is predictable, specific plans get made about who to save so that the question is not “up in the air” in the heat of the moment during pregnancy. They further mention that the mother gets prioritized as the baby has no agency by law until the umbilical cord is cut.
Image credits: anabelmoralezz
Image credits: anabelmoralezz
Others share experiences of situations they or people they know have been in
Nevertheless, people mention that they have been asked this question in the middle of a pregnancy. Usually the father of the family was questioned, in some cases the mother, if she was lucid at the time. Some mentioned that the one with the best chances of survival gets saved.
Christina M. Ward tells the story of her birth, during which the doctor pulled her father aside to ask him the question during her mother’s labor. Although her mother wasn’t supposed to be able to deliver children, against all odds, she managed to conceive. Her father told the doctor to “save the baby,” as she wouldn’t want to live if the child passed.
Considering the not-so-long-ago implications of COVID-19, a study was conducted analyzing whether the virus could infect the placenta itself. According to the lead author of the study, Alice Lu-Culligan, this phenomenon not only increases the risk for severe outcomes for the mother but is also highly dangerous for the fetus.
The commenters shared similar opinions to Anabel, expressing how difficult and sensitive it would be
Anabel's video received more than 568 thousand likes, over 4000 comments, and nearly 9000 shares. What are your thoughts? Perhaps you have heard of someone in a similarly difficult situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.