Parenting is a chaotic journey of love, balancing priorities, and juggling responsibilities in an attempt to raise a child to be a decent human being. Moms and dads have a lot on their plates, yet still do their best to keep their sanity intact and surprise everyone with their sheer level of resilience. While they are as close to superhero status as it gets, sometimes the challenges that come with parenthood make it hard shouldering that cape.
Naturally, it can be tough navigating the twist and turns of this emotional time. So we contacted Holly Connors, author of the acclaimed blog Simplify Create Inspire, to find out how important it is for mamas to keep things real. "Motherhood is absolutely overwhelming," said the working mom of two energetic girls who has spent a decade building her career in psychology.
"I don't think there is ever another point in life when we feel more imposter syndrome creeping in than when we try and navigate motherhood. Everything is a learning curve and nothing is as easy as we expect it to be the first time around. Or every time after that," Holly told Bored Panda.
The lifestyle blogger said the pressure of doing everything right is enormous as a parent. "On top of that, we find ourselves stuck in the comparison cycle, seeing other mothers doing a fab job and allowing our own self-perceived inadequacies to creep in. And in the hardest seasons of motherhood, with sleepless nights, teething, terrible twos and everything in between, it can be easy to get lost in how hard it all feels and be less in the current moment."
After all, mothers often encounter curated pictures on social media that imply perfection. Whether it’s sharing photos of a spotless home, a care-free vacation, or talking about finding that non-existent work-life balance, it may take a toll if moms start to compare. In fact, unrealistic portrayals of motherhood on social media have an impact on self-confidence and self-esteem, as a survey conducted by British United Provident Association (BUPA) reports.
After polling over 1000 mothers in the UK, BUPA found that 63% of women are exhausted by trying to be 'supermoms'. Out of those, one in five said this pressure has affected their mental health. Fearing being judged, 31% said they put on a facade of coping to seem flawless and 43% mentioned they struggle to ask even their partner for support. "Social media can be a source of difficulty for many mothers as they compare their situation to the glossy images they see whilst scrolling," clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Humber commented on the findings. "While some mums will find this type of content helpful or inspirational, what’s important is learning not to compare themselves and to see things for what they really are."
It’s alarming to see so many women obsess about having it all figured out — taking care of the kids, juggling work and home life, making sure there’s always a meal on the table, and much, much more. But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
"Parenting can feel very isolated, especially if you do not have a great support system around you," Holly added. "This is where the online world can be both a great help and a hindrance. There is definitely some media that makes you feel like you are failing and this has absolutely no benefit for anyone. Especially not a parent navigating daily struggles as they learn alongside their child."
"However, hearing other people share stories of struggles, wins and very relatable moments is a great reminder that we aren't alone and that there is a massive community out there of people to connect with and learn from."
The good news is that even when parenting is hardly ever easy, plenty of positive and rewarding experiences make all efforts worthwhile. And Holly wholeheartedly agrees. "The best part of the parenting journey is seeing your child grow and adapt through each stage of development and marveling at the incredible resilience children show," she told us.
"We can learn a lot from our kids and there is no greater magic than appreciating the world through their eyes and their unique perspectives. Something you have seen and done 1000 times is suddenly new and exciting as they experience it for the first time. No other bond that compares to this!"
But as much as parenting is about sharing highs and lows with the people who mean most to you, it’s also about being able to laugh and make fun of all the little things, too. According to Holly, humor is among the most important things every household should have. "The simple act of being able to find joy in small moments every day greatly improves our well-being and satisfaction with life, even during the hardest of seasons."
The mom-of-two added that it’s also a way to build stronger and more resilient relationships with your partner and your little ones. "It can help keep the bond between a couple strong when they are learning together on the parenthood journey, reminding them they are a team capable of great things together, including fun!"
