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30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree

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Not everyone is meant to be a parent and not everyone wants to be a parent. That’s the simple (some would say uncomfortable) truth. However, not everyone agrees with this. Some folks believe that everyone should be a parent, no matter how much the idea of having kids might scare or push others away. However, being ‘childfree’ is always a choice.
Redditor u/KindlyYam6687 started up a thread on r/AskWomen, asking internet users around the globe about the “defining moment” that made them decide not to have children. Scroll down for their candid answers and stories.

#1

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
There wasn't one. That's kind of like asking "what was the defining moment you chose not to shove a cactus up your a**e?"
I never wanted to in the first place. Not wanting to do that has always been my default position.
178points

#2

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
There is also no need to put more children into this world which is already going to hell, realistically what life will they have in the future? We’re over 8 billion people and not able to distribute resources. Seems a bit selfish to put more children into this mess.
I also like sleep, freedom and money.
161points

#3

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
I was on my second date with my partner and he said, "Before we go any further, I don't want kids. Never have and never will." And I was like, holy s**t... That's an option?? It was so incredibly freeing.
We've been together 6 years happily childfree.
154points

As we’ve covered on Bored Panda before, there’s a huge expectation from society that women get married, have children, and focus all of their efforts on the family. These expectations exist even in the West, in 2023.

Something else to consider is that parenting is far from easy. It’s exhausting. It’s financially draining. And though many parents would be the first to tell you that all of this is worth it, others might feel resentful about how much they have to sacrifice for their munchkins. So when they see someone who is childfree and doesn’t have to make the same sacrifices, they might lash out at them.

#4

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
I never really liked or wanted kids but I figured I would have them eventually because that's what you did. Then there was the year that my 5 year old cousin got a whistle in her Christmas cracker and blew it all... f*****g... night. My ovaries shriveled to raisins that night.
144points

#5

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
Literally EVERY person I know my age who has kids do nothing but complain
They look tired
They look sick
They look hungry
They say they haven't had fun in months
Meanwhile I'm just chillin', plus I like having money :D Kids are expensive.
132points

#6

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
Realizing that having children was more of a societal pressure in order to have "a fulfilling life" but in fact the things in my life that bring me fulfillment don't include children
124points

The idea that everyone should start a family is deeply rooted in our society, as well as our nature. After all, we’re social animals, and without having kids, humankind as a whole wouldn’t exist. However, this doesn’t mean that everyone should be forced to do what society expects of them.

There are plenty of reasons why not having kids makes sense to them. They might want to have the freedom to travel and fulfill their goals, whatever they might be. Or they might want to focus on their careers and other ambitions. Others feel like they’d be awful parents because they had awful parents themselves, so they want to break the cycle. Still, others see the idea of a family as something that doesn’t necessarily involve kids.

#7

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
When row vs. Wade got overturned and it was my final straw. I decided that I would rather die than have to be forced if I ever did get pregnant.
120points

#8

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
I was like 6. Playing with my barbies, and my dad made some remark about how I'll be a good mother one day. I looked up at him and said "I don't want kids." then went right back to my dolls
Fast forward~17 yaers, fallopian tubes are removed and I'm involved with a volunteer team to help people worldwide find resources to get elective sterilization
117points

#9

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
As the oldest of five children, our household was chaotic and I believe I helped my mom raise my siblings. I also spent most of my teens babysitting and nannying as a main source of income.
One day in college while on a trip with my family, my brother got lost and we thought he was gone. Thankfully he returned, but I cried for days about almost losing him. If I felt that way about a sibling, I knew I would be an overbearing, stressed out, overprotective, anxious mother, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.
By the time I was a young adult, I was exhausted from taking care of others, I was riddled with anxiety and had lived through traumatic experiences, and started to get a glimpse of life as an independent woman. Ironically I am good with kids, being an older sister. I love my friends’ babies, and I’ll be the best fun aunt one day, but children just aren’t conducive with my mental state and I prefer my freedom and lifestyle.
114points

Meanwhile, there are other considerations to keep in mind as well. For instance, some people have genetic diseases running in their families, so they don’t want to pass these on to the next generation. Others might be dealing with mental issues or be so strapped for cash that they can barely feed or take care of themselves, let alone be responsible for another live human being. We shouldn’t assume that everyone’s life story is the same as ours.

#10

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
Watching a bunch of my friends have kids and turn into zombies who complain about having no life, no sleep, and everything that their kids do in general. No one is making parenting look like any fun.
Also, I’ve never liked kids.
102points

#11

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
When I found out that there were only 2 ways the baby could come out, and both sounded awful.
102points

#12

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
I felt like a burden as a child, like I was unloved and unwanted, and I decided when I was pretty young that I would never have kids because I would never want them to worry about if they were lovable enough
100points

#13

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
A boyfriend (ex now, of course) mentioned that he wanted a kid one day.
I realized in that moment that I had never thought that someone would expect me to have a kid for them, and I'd never wanted a kid for me. I put a bunch more thought into the decision and got my tubes removed at 25.
98points

#14

There was none. There was just always an absence of a desire to have them. I never imagined myself as a mother.
94points

#15

I've always not wanted kids, but the day that hammered it in for me was when a child was misbehaving in public and it took every ounce of my strength not to beat the c**p out of it.
The realization that I actually wanted to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT a child made me realize that I'd be an unfit mother who would traumatize my child.
92points

#16

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
When I was a kid and my mom screamed at me that I'd understand why she was so tired, stressed and miserable once I'd have my own kids.
After that? Listening moms complain all the time about their life, kids and husbands. No kid deserves that.
86points

#17

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
Raising my SEVERELY autistic and mentally disordered little sister who is 14 yrs younger than me from birth to 3 years.  I love her and she deserves the best,  and that best was so much better than me.  I lost 3 years of my childhood to her, up until I moved out at 17, and I knew I absolutely would never have a kid of my own.  To be fair, I swore off having kids when I was 7 or 8, but holy s**t did raising one while her mom went and got high really cement it for me.
85points

#18

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
I’m not sure there was a defining moment. I think I just kind of had a sense from fairly early on that I wasn’t interested. And it’s strengthened as I’ve gotten older so I’m feeling at peace about it.
Not having kids is so much easier than having kids. Like I don’t have to find a partner in time, or live near good schools, or budget money for childcare. I just do whatever. Other than choosing partners and birth control, I don’t have to make any decisions around NOT having kids.
84points

#19

Probably some random day after a solid three week migraine where I thought, “This would SUCK if I had a screaming kid right now.”…also, I was afraid of passing down certain hereditary things (migraine, depression, bipolar), as well as adoption was waaaaay too $$. So that sealed the deal. Been married and childless 11 years. So glad I got that hysterectomy.
80points

#20

30 Women Share The Moment They Realized They’d Like To Remain Childfree
So I'm 30 now and I honestly just never felt the urge? 🤷 When my girlfriends started having babies and saying things like "oh I've wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl!" I never experienced that. And then my husband and I discussed it and felt yeah, we really just don't care 🤷 I love my friends and families children dearly but will remain intentionally child free ✌️
77points
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