62 Childhood Experiences People Now Realize Were Not As Normal As They Were Led To Believe

I went to a friends house. Her parents were arguing, not like angry yet but upset. She was totally fine, not on edge at all, and I was shaking. I went to sit at the stairs to listen, and when I told her it was incase it got too bad and we had to run or step in, she had no idea why I would say that. She went downstairs and quietly told them they were scaring me, so they came and sat with me to explain why they were arguing and that I didn’t need to be afraid. We talked about my parents and how any fight usually meant we have to run or get between mom and dad, and that’s why no one ever came over.

Her parents are the best, they have a room that’s all mine when I come over even if it’s just for dinner. They never argue in front of me or my friend anymore, instead they calmly discuss the situation and come to a solution almost immediately. They always take care of me. I realized a normal childhood is feeling loved and cared for, not jumping between two adults afraid one of them won’t survive this fight.

When I got older, people in social circles told random childhood stories. I realized that you’re supposed to be able to remember your childhood.

When my mom's nickname in my friend group was "demon" and my best friend's parents hated my parents so much they offered to basically adopt me; as in, move in with them while I finished high school and they offered to help send me to university. 


I'm really thankful for the amazing people that supported me throughout my tumultuous childhood.

Realizing my "normal" stress as a kid was actually survival mode and other kids didn't live like that.

When I realized I knew how to stay quiet, read moods, and make myself small, but I had no idea how to ask for help or relax. That’s not maturity, that’s survival mode.

When I told my therapist about how my mom would purposely try to make me cry at parties to show she could, and then laugh about it. My therapist gave me this sad look and apologized. I thought all parents had things they did like this.

I was describing a "funny" way my mom scared me when she thought I had stolen something, and everyone in the room was just dead silent and looked horrified.

Still was another 10 years before I realized she had hurt me a lot me growing up.

The human brain is amazingly good at normalizing anything you go thru.

Probably the first time my brother (older than me by a year and a half) was removed from school property by police due to one of his violent outbursts and sent to a psychiatric hospital. Little jerk was a legit monster. At home, he'd beat our mom and I almost daily while my dad was at work. Pretty sure he even kicked the dog at least a few times too. The best years of my life were when he went to live in a group home for 3 or 4 years and I only saw him every other weekend.

I remember talking to a roommate in college about something I did when I was little, and I said, "It was when I was really young, like I still had the lock on my door on the outside."

Her reaction was as if I said... well, as if I said my parents had the locks on the outside when I was a kid so they could lock me in there as punishment, sometimes for days.

I learned that day very quickly and in no uncertain terms that that is not normal.

I was raised by loving parents who explained things to me instead of "because I said so."


Even during their nasty divorce, neither one ever said a bad word about the other in our presence (knowingly).

When I told a completely normal (I thought) story from my childhood and my therapist’s face suddenly lost all blood. .

When I went to a friend's house, she had a brother like I did and Mom and Dad were married like mine, but their kitchen table was up against a wall and only had three chairs. Why did they only have three chairs for a four-person-household? Because Dad was never around to eat with them.

I hadn't quite realized how ridiculously wholesome my childhood was, with married parents who were kind to one another and to us, a dad who left the office early to pick up the kids from school and eat lunch with the family, a dog and even a pony. It stayed like this through my entire childhood, too. How lucky I was.

In the 4th grade, I went to school on a Monday. The teacher was asking people what they did on the weekend and they called on me. I blithely announced that we had taken my father to rehab for his substance problem. They made me see the school counselor after that.

Telling a funny story at work and catching the looks my coworkers gave each other.

This has actually happened a few times. Now I realize it mid-story and joke about my messed up childhood.

There’s so much more that I’ve realized in various ways as I’ve gotten older and learned more about trauma.

Went to my high school gf's house and her parents hugged and kissed. They legitimately adored one another and enjoyed their time together. Initially I found it odd, like "eww, your parents kiss?!" I then began to realize that it was my parents, who on their good days barely tolerated one another, that were the weird ones.

For one that’s not quite as traumatic as the others here so far, one of my earliest memories is of going to my uncle’s house and there being a lion cub playing in the lounge.

When I realized I was the only kid at school that dreaded summer. I didn't like school at all but it was better. Started to realize when everyone was so ready for the year to end I was like yeah I guess....

When I realised it wasn’t normal to be worried when you went to school incase your mum ended her life before you got home. Twice I was called aside by the school nurse to say my mum was in hospital. Once she’s didn’t come back for 8 months and the man she found two week prior, who I didn’t know, looked after me.

When I grew up and realized people were basically like close friends with their parents still, and I never spoke to mine anymore.

I always knew things were bad, but i just never realized how bad until then.

When I was 12 and my teacher realized I couldn’t tell time. She took me aside and tried to teach me but I told her my father already tried to teach me to tell time when I was 5, but I was too dumb to learn. When the teacher persisted, I shook and sobbed and begged her not to hit me in the face if I got the answer wrong.
The look on her face….

I finally taught myself to tell time many years later when we spent multiple weeks visiting my grandparents without my father.