Long-term relationships are not actually guaranteed, even if you really like a person. Spending your life together with someone is a huge commitment, so most folks want to be sure. Unfortunately, sometimes things happen in a relationship that pretty clearly demonstrate that a partner is not marriage-material.
Someone asked “What moment made you realize your gf/bf would never be your wife/husband?” and netizens shared those pivotal moments from their lives. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and examples in the comments section below.
Someone asked “What moment made you realize your gf/bf would never be your wife/husband?” and netizens shared those pivotal moments from their lives. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and examples in the comments section below.
#1

When she "tested me" by having her way hotter friend hit on me. When she told me she was happy I passed "her little maybe husband test" I told her she failed my maybe wife test and broke up with her. She was SHOCKED.
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245points
#2

He tried to control everything I did. He told me I couldn't go over to my friends house after school because "he didn't trust them", I couldn't babysit anymore because "I need to be inside my house by 6pm every night", I couldn't wear pink, red, or purple anymore and I could only wear long pants and turtleneck shirts as "I need to dress modestly ".
Not only did I NOT obey him, but even he came to my house before school, he told me, in front of my dad, that I had to change my clothes. I was sent out of the room, and 23 years later, I'm still not sure what my dad said to him, but all his crazy demands stopped and I broke up with him a few weeks later.
Not only did I NOT obey him, but even he came to my house before school, he told me, in front of my dad, that I had to change my clothes. I was sent out of the room, and 23 years later, I'm still not sure what my dad said to him, but all his crazy demands stopped and I broke up with him a few weeks later.
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211points
#4
I don't want to trauma-dump, so I'll leave it at this: pay attention to how they treat you when you are physically unwell and reliant on them.
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199points
#5

I was planning on proposing to my long term girlfriend, but then she got into a serious accident where she fell and landed onto a friends' d**k. Dodged a bullet there.
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194points
#6
When I invited him to my college graduation and he said he thought it would be boring and he’d rather play video games with his brother. I worked full time through college and it took me almost 8 years to graduate, it was the biggest day of my life up to that point.
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192points
#7
When I realized I was just gonna be his mom not his partner.
I did the cleaning. I held his hand through EVERYTHING I was responsible for everything. It was very one sided. He spent all his money on Magic: the gathering cards instead of paying bills. When I said I was breaking up with him, he said he wouldn't be able to finish college... Because of me. I said that wasn't my problem that was his.
I did the cleaning. I held his hand through EVERYTHING I was responsible for everything. It was very one sided. He spent all his money on Magic: the gathering cards instead of paying bills. When I said I was breaking up with him, he said he wouldn't be able to finish college... Because of me. I said that wasn't my problem that was his.
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190points
#8

He wanted a SAH wife but without protection in case we split. I will not lose my financial independence for anyone. Too many horror stories.
He married and his wife got screwed years later.
He married and his wife got screwed years later.
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188points
#9

When we'd been dating for six months and realized he really wanted to have kids and I didn't. We'd talked about it before, but I don't think either of us had completely figured it out yet.
He's now a happy dad, and I'm happily childfree with an amazing partner.
He's now a happy dad, and I'm happily childfree with an amazing partner.
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172points
#10

When he randomly said to me one day, "you have to win me over again". I decided not to try.
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167points
#11

I was stuck in bed healing from a serious accident. I had several pelvic fractures and spinal fractures plus serious emotional trauma. My mom had come to stay with me to help take care of me. My ex came to visit one day like two weeks after the accident and he was pouting because I wouldn’t have sex with him. Then he made a joke to my mother about how “well endowed” he was (hahahahahahahahahahaha).
162points
#12
Whenever I accomplished anything he’d belittle it.
Like I bought a house and he was supposed to help me with the down payment. He didn’t have a job but it was Covid year so he got a ton of unemployment cause his job never restarted. I got unemployment for a minute but it terrified me to my core so I switched careers, worked two jobs, and decided to buy a house. We were going to get married so both our names were going to be on it. About 2 months beforehand I asked how much he saved to put down. Zero. He tried to blame me and say I wanted to go out. I was working two jobs! One was sales and I made 90k in a year from. I was paying for my own drinks! He did not pay any rent or bills past his phone bill.
So I was proud of myself at 27, saving up, making a huge change in less than 7 months, and doing it myself. I didn’t put his name on the house. But I was bragging to my best friend and was just like “I’m so proud of myself for this; I never thought I’d be a home owner.” And he went “you didn’t do it yourself, you wouldn’t have done it at all if your aunt hadn’t died.” My aunt died and I got 1k from it. I would have still had the down payment without that. My aunt died of ovarian cancer. So not only was I working two jobs(for the first three months, I switched to one after that), I was also spending two nights a week with her cause we didn’t want to put her in hospice and I was the youngest of her nieces so I had the most energy. It was disgusting. People don’t die with dignity. I loved my aunt, but it was a lot of sleepless nights and holding my breath so I wouldn’t show anything on my face of wanting to throw up. I had three bad panic attacks that year from all this. Like where I thought I needed to be hospitalized and I felt like my body wasn’t mine and at any second I’d lose myself completely. I called the crisis line multiple times.
It hurt and made me see him differently when I realized how often he did that but how little it meant to me normally because I didn’t feel proud of the accomplishments anyways. But this time I did.
Like I bought a house and he was supposed to help me with the down payment. He didn’t have a job but it was Covid year so he got a ton of unemployment cause his job never restarted. I got unemployment for a minute but it terrified me to my core so I switched careers, worked two jobs, and decided to buy a house. We were going to get married so both our names were going to be on it. About 2 months beforehand I asked how much he saved to put down. Zero. He tried to blame me and say I wanted to go out. I was working two jobs! One was sales and I made 90k in a year from. I was paying for my own drinks! He did not pay any rent or bills past his phone bill.
So I was proud of myself at 27, saving up, making a huge change in less than 7 months, and doing it myself. I didn’t put his name on the house. But I was bragging to my best friend and was just like “I’m so proud of myself for this; I never thought I’d be a home owner.” And he went “you didn’t do it yourself, you wouldn’t have done it at all if your aunt hadn’t died.” My aunt died and I got 1k from it. I would have still had the down payment without that. My aunt died of ovarian cancer. So not only was I working two jobs(for the first three months, I switched to one after that), I was also spending two nights a week with her cause we didn’t want to put her in hospice and I was the youngest of her nieces so I had the most energy. It was disgusting. People don’t die with dignity. I loved my aunt, but it was a lot of sleepless nights and holding my breath so I wouldn’t show anything on my face of wanting to throw up. I had three bad panic attacks that year from all this. Like where I thought I needed to be hospitalized and I felt like my body wasn’t mine and at any second I’d lose myself completely. I called the crisis line multiple times.
It hurt and made me see him differently when I realized how often he did that but how little it meant to me normally because I didn’t feel proud of the accomplishments anyways. But this time I did.
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149points
#13

Our upstairs neighbor had a toddler who liked to run through the apartment and she freaked out on the little guy, literally screaming at him while he stood there crying and shaking.
I grant, it was loud and annoying. She had cause to be annoyed. But 1) she refused to have an adult conversation with the upstairs mom, and 2) the little guy doesn’t deserve that. He’s just a baby.
At that time in my life, I was convinced I never wanted to have kids but when I saw that behavior I knew it was over even if we never had kids of our own. I broke up with her the next day.
Now I’m happily married and we have a little guy of our own. We have rules, but we don’t discipline out of anger or use fear to change behavior.
I grant, it was loud and annoying. She had cause to be annoyed. But 1) she refused to have an adult conversation with the upstairs mom, and 2) the little guy doesn’t deserve that. He’s just a baby.
At that time in my life, I was convinced I never wanted to have kids but when I saw that behavior I knew it was over even if we never had kids of our own. I broke up with her the next day.
Now I’m happily married and we have a little guy of our own. We have rules, but we don’t discipline out of anger or use fear to change behavior.
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144points
#14

She lied badly about money and how much debt she was in. Her best friend showed me a text she had sent basically saying all I need is to get him to marry me and he’ll be stuck with my debts too.
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139points
#15

The day my boyfriend decided to quit his job because I made enough money to support both of us. Yeah I make enough to support us, but l am not going to support another grown adult.
We were a gay couple for reference.
We were a gay couple for reference.
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136points
#16
When he didn’t come to visit me/ call me to check if I was ok after being diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis.
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136points
#17

We were looking at rings. He straight up told me he didn’t like any of the ones I did because “they’re not gold and my wife needs to have a gold ring because I’m going to always put her first”. But, you didn’t want to put my preferences first on a piece of jewelry I’d be wearing every day?? So many other red flags, that was just the one that slapped me awake.
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134points
#18

When he said he wanted to have children together and my heart filled with dread at the thought of being permanently tied to him like that.
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132points
#19

When I realized we had completely different life goals—like he wanted to travel the world non-stop, and I was more about settling down in one place.
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131points
#20
When he told me jokingly that his mom had asked him: “Why do you keep dating [my race] girls and diluting your blood?”
Marriage is hard enough without a racist MIL and clueless momma’s boy.
Marriage is hard enough without a racist MIL and clueless momma’s boy.
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126points


