People Reveal When The Scales Dropped From Their Eyes And They Realized How Toxic Their Jobs Were (30 Stories)

Bored Panda reached out to Silva, a psychotherapist from the United Kingdom, to have a chat about why very clear boundaries are vital if we feel like we’re constantly being walked over, the importance of being kind and understanding of those closest to us whether at work or outside of it, and what the lack of outward empathy implies about a person.

According to British psychotherapist Silva, the kindness that we show to the world, our social circle, and everyone we meet throughout the day answers the fundamental questions about who we are as people, deep down. In short, through our daily actions and interactions with our colleagues, we reveal to everyone else how we live, what we value, and what we think of the people closest to us. He noted that people tend to be kinder during the holiday season, but they must remember to extend this kindness and empathy throughout the year.

“I think it is a good practice to remind ourselves all year round of what kind of human beings we want to be: someone who is kind and contributes to the goodness of our loved ones, social circle, and greater society, or someone who lives in fear, anger, and protection?” Silva told Bored Panda that we should strive to be kind to others and remain compassionate no matter the situation. We ought to be nice to our colleagues and be mindful of their boundaries all the time, whether it’s the holiday season or not.

“It can be challenging in the world that we live in because there is much fear and anxiety around, and it is easy to forget our kind nature for protecting ourselves and our values,” the expert acknowledged that being kind is far from easy with how difficult things are currently, however, we should still strive to be empathetic and respectful, even if we’re afraid.

Silva suggested to Bored Panda that people should change the way they view someone who’s being pushy, rude, demanding or unkind. He stressed that these people’s lives are often ruled by fear and they deserve our compassion despite the way that they treat us.

“A part of being kind is to remind ourselves that when we meet someone who is unkind, it usually means that that person is afraid of something, and it can help with staying empathic and kind to someone who is unkind,” he said. Though this isn’t an excuse to allow others to walk all over us. There have to be some limits to our compassion if someone is being maliciously rude or dismissive of us.

“It doesn't mean we should condone unreasonable unpleasant behaviors, because being kind also means to have strong boundaries so that everybody can feel safe within them,” Silva said that we have to balance between standing up for ourselves and being kind to the unkind.

Meanwhile, life coach Lindsay Hanson explained to me earlier that each and every one of us is responsible for setting the boundaries that we’re willing to tolerate in the workplace. If HR doesn’t listen to you, you can still try talking to your boss about any major issues about the work environment.

"If you feel that there's nothing you can do to change the situation and the company or people involved are unwilling to change, then you have to decide whether you're willing to stay in that environment or not," she explained to Bored Panda.

"A good question to ask yourself is, even if this toxic situation were to change, would I still want to work here?" the life coach pointed out that this is the question that we ought to ask ourselves before we start putting a lot of time and energy in changing the company for the better. According to her, we have two options. Either we look for a way out of the situation we’re in or we try to find happiness or at least contentment in the environment that we’re in.

"The idea that you can't change your situation due to the pandemic is very limiting. There are still companies hiring. There are still ways to make money on your own. There is always a way to change your current situation—telling yourself you're stuck feels very limiting," she told me.

"Again, it comes back to what you're willing to tolerate. You can do everything in your power to bring attention to the toxic situation and attempt to change it. And at the end of the day, you always have control over your own mindset, how you're reacting to the situation, and how much you let it affect you."

Previously, Eddy Ng, the Smith Professor of Equity & Inclusion at Queen’s University, formerly the James and Elizabeth Freeman Professor of Management at Bucknell University, told me that employees ought to look into workplace health and safety regulations for help if HR and their managers aren’t responding to testimonies about toxic workplace environments, e.g. harassment or bullying.

However, he warned that quitting any job is a tough decision. Workers need to consider their financial situation, life stage, ability to adapt, and other things before making this decision that depends on very subjective factors.

"This is also exacerbated by the pandemic. If the toxic environment becomes a health concern and the employer is not responsive, you can quit and sue the employer for constructive dismissal," the professor told Bored Panda.

"Generally, it is easier to look for another job while you are still in one, so you don't have to explain gaps in employment or past problems with a prospective employer," he said.