We all have our fair share of brain farts. You might blank on a politician’s name for a moment or accidentally reach into a hot oven without putting on a mitt first. It’s embarrassing, but it doesn’t necessarily reflect on your intelligence. However, you can’t teach common sense. So if these slip-ups start to become the norm, your partner might begin to wonder what’s going on in your noggin…
Redditors have recently been sharing the moments when they realized that they were dating an idiot, so we’ve gathered their funniest stories below. Keep reading to also find a conversation with Relationship and Dating Coach Mila Smith, and be sure to upvote the stories that you believe warrant an immediate break-up!
#1
Senior year of high school, I'd been offered a full-ride college scholarship for athletics. My girlfriend at the time was always annoyed with how much time I dedicated to my sport - in a particular conversation, I made my case that without the sport, I probably wouldn't be able to go to college and even if I could, I'd be riddled with debt. The scholarship was a life-changer, for me.
She got mad that I called the scholarship a life changer and demanded that I quit my sport so we could hang out more. We broke up about ninety seconds after that comment.
She got mad that I called the scholarship a life changer and demanded that I quit my sport so we could hang out more. We broke up about ninety seconds after that comment.
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183points
#2
When he asked my grandmother if she'd ever had children.
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164points
#3
I was having bad cramps and I took an Advil. My ex told me I shouldn’t take them because it’s a gazebo.
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158points
To learn more about what it's like to realize your partner may not be the brightest bulb, we reached out to Relationship and Dating Coach Mila Smith. Mila was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain how common this is.
"Typically, I work with clients whose past relationships fell apart for one reason or another, and if I’m honest, intellectual level doesn’t come up very often, as it’s usually determined early on," the expert says. "It’s more likely to play a part if people get involved when they are very young and then grow and evolve at a different pace (well, some fail to evolve at all)."
#4
When he ran out of gas while in line at the Starbucks drive thru, right across the street from the gas station. I told him to get gas first because his car was low but he REALLY needed that iced caramel macchiato. I asked why he didn't listen to me, and he replied with "I thought I could make it."
He ended up PUSHING the car through the drive thru and got his coffee while doing so, then 'parked' the car in the lot and called a tow. TO TOW IT BACK HOME. Instead of the gas station ACROSS THE STREET. No he did not get any gas that day, he waited until his dad got off work to bring a 3 gallon jug of gasoline because I refused to enable that s**t
ETA: I fell asleep after commenting, I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone with all these comments, holy s**t thank you for the reward!
Yes I'm still in a relationship with him. He's a space case but so am I, just not to that extent lmao I have not let him live that day down and he has learned to get gas first every time now.
The worst part of that day was the fact he didn't remember he had a canister for gasoline in his trunk. He told me he towed the car home instead of the gas station because he was too embarrassed and ashamed of himself. I asked why he still pushed his car through the Starbucks drive thru and he deadpan goes "I had enough stars for a free drink, I was gonna put the extra money I saved in my tank (gas)." My brain broke for a second because he uses the preloaded Starbucks app. How was he going to use $7 of his preloaded Starbucks app at a Chevron? He still hasn't answered me and it's been two years since it happened.
Edit 2: I showed him this and he flipped me off and said if this makes me famous he demands royalties lmao.
He ended up PUSHING the car through the drive thru and got his coffee while doing so, then 'parked' the car in the lot and called a tow. TO TOW IT BACK HOME. Instead of the gas station ACROSS THE STREET. No he did not get any gas that day, he waited until his dad got off work to bring a 3 gallon jug of gasoline because I refused to enable that s**t
ETA: I fell asleep after commenting, I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone with all these comments, holy s**t thank you for the reward!
Yes I'm still in a relationship with him. He's a space case but so am I, just not to that extent lmao I have not let him live that day down and he has learned to get gas first every time now.
The worst part of that day was the fact he didn't remember he had a canister for gasoline in his trunk. He told me he towed the car home instead of the gas station because he was too embarrassed and ashamed of himself. I asked why he still pushed his car through the Starbucks drive thru and he deadpan goes "I had enough stars for a free drink, I was gonna put the extra money I saved in my tank (gas)." My brain broke for a second because he uses the preloaded Starbucks app. How was he going to use $7 of his preloaded Starbucks app at a Chevron? He still hasn't answered me and it's been two years since it happened.
Edit 2: I showed him this and he flipped me off and said if this makes me famous he demands royalties lmao.
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140points
#5
Her: “Look at the moon. That ain’t right.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Her: “You’re not supposed to see the moon during the day time. The government put that there to spy on us.”
Me: “…”.
Me: “What do you mean?”
Her: “You’re not supposed to see the moon during the day time. The government put that there to spy on us.”
Me: “…”.
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139points
#6
Didn't date this guy. I worked with him. He was somehow a master electrician. He would say "be pacific when you talk." We told him the word was specific. He said no, "it's pacific because of the ocean." We showed him online the definition of specific, and he legit said,"anyone can fake an internet article. " it was on Wikipedia......
He also had a fiancée who ended up in the hospital for months, and he never once visited her. When I (a woman) asked him why not, he said, "She was on d***s and would never know I was there anyway." This woman wasn't in a coma. She had had a huge tumor removed and complications after, and yeah, she was on lots of meds, but she was awake most of the time.
Dude couldn't figure out why she broke the engagement the minute she left the hospital.
He also had a fiancée who ended up in the hospital for months, and he never once visited her. When I (a woman) asked him why not, he said, "She was on d***s and would never know I was there anyway." This woman wasn't in a coma. She had had a huge tumor removed and complications after, and yeah, she was on lots of meds, but she was awake most of the time.
Dude couldn't figure out why she broke the engagement the minute she left the hospital.
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134points
Does it cause problems if two partners aren't exactly on the same intellectual level? "It depends what is important to a particular individual, what they value in a relationship," Mila says. "If an intellectual debate and education is h**h on their list of priorities, it would be hard to overlook an intellectual mismatch."
"However, some people value other forms of intelligence more, such as emotional intelligence – and it’s not necessarily linked to IQ," the dating and relationship coach added. "If you appreciate your partner regardless, you may be able to work around their perceived lack of intelligence tactfully, without making them feel inferior."
#7
I told him I had to leave in 1.5 hours. He told me that was oddly specific and I should have rounded up to 2 hours instead of 1 hour and 50 minutes. I clarified that I had to leave in 1 hour and 30 minutes and he said that’s actually 1.3 hours.
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131points
#8
I was in a long term relationship with a girl while I was attending grad school and we shared a studio apartment. One winter evening, I had planned to spend a late night at the school library doing some reading assignments, but was so exhausted that I decided to pack up and go home early.
When I got home, I opened the door and immediately got hit by an overwhelming smell of gas. Turns out this girl had decided that she was cold and the best way to heat up our apartment would be to turn the oven on and leave the oven door open, thinking the heat from the oven would warm the apartment. Did I mention the windows were completely shut and locked?
I immediately opened the windows, got her out of the apartment, and called building management. She couldn’t understand what the big deal was until I finally got through to her that she could have very well died of carbon monoxide poisoning had I not come home early that night. To top it off, she told me she had planned to light some candles…
We broke up a few months later.
When I got home, I opened the door and immediately got hit by an overwhelming smell of gas. Turns out this girl had decided that she was cold and the best way to heat up our apartment would be to turn the oven on and leave the oven door open, thinking the heat from the oven would warm the apartment. Did I mention the windows were completely shut and locked?
I immediately opened the windows, got her out of the apartment, and called building management. She couldn’t understand what the big deal was until I finally got through to her that she could have very well died of carbon monoxide poisoning had I not come home early that night. To top it off, she told me she had planned to light some candles…
We broke up a few months later.
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131points
#9
Dude I was dating turned out to be the worst kind of know-it-all because his 'facts' were mostly wrong. He told me not to tell him that because he doesn't like it, it's been done before and it's not true. I hadn't encountered an incident of it yet so I memorized that, but didn't think about it much even if i thought it was weird to tell me that.
fast forward a few days we were sitting at dinner at a restaurant talking about whatever when peripherally something about human organs floats by and that the PH of the stomach is about 3.
He looks at me with a smile of deep condescension and says: "The PH of the stomach is 10."
He said that so final and with such an air of superiority that I stopped mid-sentence. You don't wanna be rude back and mistakes happen anyway so I tried to tell him politely that he might have a false memory there or a teacher in his past might have mixed something up. I just didn't want to embarass him more than he already did himself in public, but he was committed to this.
"[My name], I know the PH of the stomach is 10. You're wrong."
I told him to please look it up, because I'm a biologist and I'm confident enough in my education.
He did and he was wrong.
There were a couple similar incidents after this one. Hilariously when we broke up one of his gripes was "I believe you think I'm stupid!"
In reality it was that and the fact he was not only wrong, but malicious and utterly confident in both.
fast forward a few days we were sitting at dinner at a restaurant talking about whatever when peripherally something about human organs floats by and that the PH of the stomach is about 3.
He looks at me with a smile of deep condescension and says: "The PH of the stomach is 10."
He said that so final and with such an air of superiority that I stopped mid-sentence. You don't wanna be rude back and mistakes happen anyway so I tried to tell him politely that he might have a false memory there or a teacher in his past might have mixed something up. I just didn't want to embarass him more than he already did himself in public, but he was committed to this.
"[My name], I know the PH of the stomach is 10. You're wrong."
I told him to please look it up, because I'm a biologist and I'm confident enough in my education.
He did and he was wrong.
There were a couple similar incidents after this one. Hilariously when we broke up one of his gripes was "I believe you think I'm stupid!"
In reality it was that and the fact he was not only wrong, but malicious and utterly confident in both.
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129points
So is there anything daters can do to make sure that they don't find themselves with this problem in their relationships? "First and foremost, identify your needs and an ideal partner profile," Mila noted. "Excuse a shopping analogy, but it helps if you have a shopping list and avoid rushing into a supermarket hungry: you’ll end up with a basket full of junk!"
"Should you decide that a potential partner’s intelligence is one of the top desired qualities, stick to your guns, and look out for various cues," the expert recommends. "When you’re on a date, ask open-ended questions to encourage your partner to talk and, given the opportunity, disclose your interests and level of education, so they are more likely to reciprocate and share their story with you."
#11
“How do oil companies know where to build gas stations?” — she thought that there was a gasoline bubble underground that they would tap into and run a line straight to the pump.
She was working for Chevron.
She was working for Chevron.
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123points
#12
Only after a year and a half of dating did he reveal to me that the world is flat, we live in a dome, the sky is a projection and all the horizon-related experiments to confirm earth's roundness is logically flawed.
He knows me and my dad have fancy telescopes and do astrophotography and stargaze together on a literal observatory on our roof.
F*****g wasted my time.
He knows me and my dad have fancy telescopes and do astrophotography and stargaze together on a literal observatory on our roof.
F*****g wasted my time.
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121points
Finally, Mila added that we shouldn't lose sight of what's most important in a relationship. "Attraction and chemistry are important, but if you’re looking for a long-term partner, don’t forget about other cornerstones of a happy, healthy relationship: friendship, compatibility, sharing key life values. These features and perspectives are the main predictors of a relationship success and longevity."
#13
I was cutting plywood on my table saw. She came up behind me when I didn't know she was there and decided to "help" me by pushing a sheet when I was already pushing it through. It lurched, and I damn near lost a finger. She had no idea why I was angry at poor little her.
105points
#14
She asked me if she had to divorce her first husband before we got married. 🤦♂️.
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105points
#15
She had a new telescope and thought it would be really cute to check out the stars after a date one night. I don’t remember the full conversation but at some point I joked about us being stuck together on this giant ball in space. She looked through the telescope again and said, “So you believe that huh?” I just stared at her blankly because I was afraid of that question going any further. Anyways, happy to share that we didn’t last long but did you guys know that “there’s totally like, a lot of evidence that our planet is probably not round?”.
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103points
#16
I mentioned that I loved stargazing on camping trips because it would actually get dark enough to see the Milky Way. Apparently I was lying to him, as it’s impossible to see the Milky Way since we’re in it.
Same dude also refused to believe that huckleberries existed. Again this came up when I was talking about picking and eating huckleberries on a hike. He had to interrupt me to tell me I was wrong because huckleberries were made up.
Everyone says dumb things sometimes. What was remarkable was how confidently he went out of his way to convince me I was wrong, wrongly. And then got upset at me for bickering when I didn’t immediately agree that something I’d been looking at (or eating) for most of my life was in my imagination. .
Same dude also refused to believe that huckleberries existed. Again this came up when I was talking about picking and eating huckleberries on a hike. He had to interrupt me to tell me I was wrong because huckleberries were made up.
Everyone says dumb things sometimes. What was remarkable was how confidently he went out of his way to convince me I was wrong, wrongly. And then got upset at me for bickering when I didn’t immediately agree that something I’d been looking at (or eating) for most of my life was in my imagination. .
101points
#17
Having to listen to her unashamedly tell me Jesus wasn't Jewish and was in fact raised catholic.
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101points
#18
I was in the passenger seat of my ex girlfriend’s car (we were 22 at the time) and whilst driving I opened the glove compartment to store something. She turned and screamed “WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?”. Confused I asked what’s going on?
Apparently as a kid she used to play with the glove compartment all the time so her parents told her that opening the glove compartment on a moving car would damage the engine… she was 22 and still believed this.
Apparently as a kid she used to play with the glove compartment all the time so her parents told her that opening the glove compartment on a moving car would damage the engine… she was 22 and still believed this.
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100points
#19
She seemed to be confused about the difference between flamingos and penguins, but insisted they weren’t real because she’d grown up in Alaska and never seen any.
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98points
#20
I wasn’t fully dating this guy, but at sonic:
“Hi can I have a slushie?”
Worker: sure! What flavor?
“You know… a slushie!”
Worker: yes, but what flavor for you want?
“I just want a slushie. Like a regular slushie!”
Worker: okay but… sure, a regular slushie.
Order is brought out, he takes a drink and goes, “I think this is just ice. It has no flavor?”
I thought it was so funny that they gave him a plain slushie instead of just defaulting to like cherry or something. I could’ve helped explain to him while he was ordering, but I was too stunned to speak.
“Hi can I have a slushie?”
Worker: sure! What flavor?
“You know… a slushie!”
Worker: yes, but what flavor for you want?
“I just want a slushie. Like a regular slushie!”
Worker: okay but… sure, a regular slushie.
Order is brought out, he takes a drink and goes, “I think this is just ice. It has no flavor?”
I thought it was so funny that they gave him a plain slushie instead of just defaulting to like cherry or something. I could’ve helped explain to him while he was ordering, but I was too stunned to speak.
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94points