The last flight I was on was an uncomfortable cross-country American flight with the worst pitch and seat width ever. No one was happy, everyone was crammed. The configuration of steerage was 3 x 3, so middle seats abounded and were generally full. One middle seat was occupied by mombie and a rather old lap baby (seriously, this kid was at least 18 months). Mombie was sitting next to an older man in the window seat, and the aisle seat was empty. Mombie then moved to the aisle seat and claimed it for her own. Eventually a steward noticed, because the aisle seat was for a very special passenger who was boarding last.
"Uh, excuse me ma'am," said the steward, "But I need to ask you to take your seat."
"I'm sitting here," said entitled mombie. "I have a baby. I can't sit in the middle."
"This is someone else's seat, ma'am," said the polite steward.
"I have a baby," mombie repeated, bouncing her fussing giant crotch-monster.
"I see that," said the steward. "But someone else is sitting in your seat and we can't switch seats now as we're about to take off. After we're up and the seatbelts signs are off, you can ask him to switch seats."
"No!" screeched the mombie. "I have a baby! I can't sit in the middle seat."
"Sorry, ma'am," said the steward, infinitely patient. "But you need to be in your assigned seat. I don't make the rules. Please help me out here."
"Please help ME out here," said mombie. "I have a baby."
"Sorry, ma'am, but the passenger whose seat you're in can't sit in the middle. He's riding with his large dog."
"A---a---DOG??" screeched mombie. "I HAVE A BABY! I CANNOT SIT NEXT TO A DOG!!!!"
Steward finally decided that he was just going to do whatever he needed to get rid of his problem: the mombie. So he arranged for her to switch seats in a complicate musical-chairs move, so the lady with HER BABY!! ended up near her husband up several rows, the old man by the window got upgraded to first class for free (good for you, old dude! No more screechy lady and her fussy baby for you!), and dude with dog got the ENTIRE ROW to himself. Which he needed, because he had literally the largest dog I've ever seen. Looked like a great dane. Doggo laid on the floor and his body stretched across all three seats.
I'm sad mombie basically got what she wanted, but I'm glad guy-with-dog and old man didn't have to put up with her. And by the way, the people she ended up next to were miserable because, as you'd expect, the baby fussed and was allowed to touch people and be obnoxious the entire flight.
"Uh, excuse me ma'am," said the steward, "But I need to ask you to take your seat."
"I'm sitting here," said entitled mombie. "I have a baby. I can't sit in the middle."
"This is someone else's seat, ma'am," said the polite steward.
"I have a baby," mombie repeated, bouncing her fussing giant crotch-monster.
"I see that," said the steward. "But someone else is sitting in your seat and we can't switch seats now as we're about to take off. After we're up and the seatbelts signs are off, you can ask him to switch seats."
"No!" screeched the mombie. "I have a baby! I can't sit in the middle seat."
"Sorry, ma'am," said the steward, infinitely patient. "But you need to be in your assigned seat. I don't make the rules. Please help me out here."
"Please help ME out here," said mombie. "I have a baby."
"Sorry, ma'am, but the passenger whose seat you're in can't sit in the middle. He's riding with his large dog."
"A---a---DOG??" screeched mombie. "I HAVE A BABY! I CANNOT SIT NEXT TO A DOG!!!!"
Steward finally decided that he was just going to do whatever he needed to get rid of his problem: the mombie. So he arranged for her to switch seats in a complicate musical-chairs move, so the lady with HER BABY!! ended up near her husband up several rows, the old man by the window got upgraded to first class for free (good for you, old dude! No more screechy lady and her fussy baby for you!), and dude with dog got the ENTIRE ROW to himself. Which he needed, because he had literally the largest dog I've ever seen. Looked like a great dane. Doggo laid on the floor and his body stretched across all three seats.
I'm sad mombie basically got what she wanted, but I'm glad guy-with-dog and old man didn't have to put up with her. And by the way, the people she ended up next to were miserable because, as you'd expect, the baby fussed and was allowed to touch people and be obnoxious the entire flight.