When it comes to family, most people want to help their loved ones out as much as possible, even if they can manage things on their own. The problem is that some folks might take advantage of this help and pretend like they can’t do anything just so that others can pick up their slack.
This is what one woman started doing because she wanted her partner and eldest daughter to financially support her, regardless of how taxing it was for them. Eventually, the woman went too far, and her daughter decided to take drastic action.
More info: Reddit
Some people use gaslighting and manipulation to get their loved ones to do everything for them, and don’t seem to realize how much pain they’re causing
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her mother had worked as a nurse for twenty years, and that she suddenly got fired following an incident that happened during her trial period
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mom later made her partner fill out her medical leave form, even though she could do it herself, and since he filled it out wrong, the claim got denied
Image credits: lgolubovystock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mom slowly began spiraling by drinking a lot, spending her money on useless things, and forcing her partner to cover their expenses, which made him leave her
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Since the older woman was on the verge of getting kicked out, she expected her daughter to take care of her and her high school-going children
Image credits: Medium_Trade1727
The woman told her mom she wasn’t going to look after her because of her weaponized incompetence, but that she would look after the high schoolers
It seems like the OP’s mother had no problem managing her job as a nurse for the last twenty years, but once she got transferred to a new facility, things changed. That’s when she blew up at a patient’s family member and got reported for her actions, which led to an incident claim being filed against her.
These kinds of situations must be taken seriously, and medical practitioners state that once a report has been filed against a nurse, they might be put on probation. Next, the state board of nursing will review the complaint and investigate it by questioning staff and witnesses before making its final decision.
Since the older woman was actually on a 90-day probationary period, she ended up being let go from her job instead of just being placed on leave. That’s when she started acting up with her family by forcing her partner to manage the finances and also take over all of her tasks.
The problem with this kind of weaponized incompetence is that it can put a lot of stress on the other partner and also make them feel underappreciated. That’s why it’s important for individuals to set boundaries around the kind of roles that they’ll take on, and to also respect each other’s limits.
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Eventually, the older woman’s behavior got even more severe, and she started drinking and spending lots of money on frivolous stuff. This took a toll on her relationship as well because she expected her partner to pick up the slack and cover all of their finances.
According to mental health professionals, when one partner always acts helplessly and doesn’t do their part to lighten the collective load, this can make their loved one feel resentful. Eventually, these feelings might build up to such an extent that they can ruin the relationship or cause many conflicts.
That’s exactly what happened between the OP’s mom and her stepdad, because when he finally had enough, he decided to leave her and kick her out of his home. That’s when the older woman turned to her daughter for support and expected her to be the responsible one.
The problem is that the 26-year-old poster would then be stuck looking after high schoolers and her unemployed mom. Therefore, she made the hard decision to let her irresponsible mother fend for herself and to look after her children instead so that they’d at least grow up in a stable environment.
What do you think about the OP’s decision not to help her mom and to keep some distance from her? Do share your honest thoughts down below.
Folks took the woman’s side and felt that her mother needed mental health support based on the way she was behaving
