'They Have No Need To Learn A Second Language': Man Demands His Bilingual Wife Not Teach Their Daughters Her Native Language

Raising your kids involves making a lot of life-changing decisions for them, so it’s no surprise that more and more parents are seeking advice online.

One young mom to two twins has recently taken it to r/AITA to ask people if it would be fair to raise them fluent in her native language. This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but the problem stems from the fact that her husband doesn’t speak that language, which is Welsh.

The author shared her husband’s concerns: “He believes they shouldn't grow up able to talk with each other behind his back” and added that “she gets the feeling he might be a bit concerned that the girls will love me more and speak to me in the other language in his presence,” which would make him feel pretty left out. Read the full story below, and be sure to share your thoughts on what you would do in this situation.

To find out what an expert has to say about raising a child bilingual, we spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Minds” who specializes in supporting parents, teachers, and children navigating through mental health issues and prevention. “As a primary teacher of 20 years, I have worked with many children who are bilingual. These children bring so much extra to the classroom as their peers can find out about other languages and I’m always in awe of someone’s ability to speak two or more languages as this is not something that came naturally to me,” Lynn told us.

She continued: “I have heard many times that if you can speak two languages then it is easier to learn a third or even more, so from that perspective, speaking two languages from an early age is very beneficial for future learning as well as career opportunities later in life. More importantly, it keeps the child in touch with their heritage and roots and by speaking their mother tongue (or tongues if their parents are two different nationalities), they are able to easily communicate with any family members who are not themselves bilingual.”

Moreover, by learning a second language of the country they are living in, children will find accessing education easier when they are of school age. “Without those basics of language to access the curriculum they are taught, they are behind before they have started. Schools should always support the situation of a child not speaking the main language taught as sometimes it is unavoidable, but if someone in the family is able to proficiently speak the language, then this would give the child an extra boost when they start school,” Lynn explained.

In the case where a mother speaks one language and a father speaks another, and they both insist on raising their children in their mother tongue, Lynn said that it is parental choice what languages are spoken at home. “We should respect this choice and plan how language can be addressed at pre-school and school if it is a barrier to learning,” she said.

How growing up in a bilingual household affects the child depends on the individual family, Lynn argues. “The general consensus currently on how to go about it is that parents should use whatever strategy promotes high-quality and high-quantity exposure to each of their child’s languages.” It’s also important to realize that early childhood is a time of emotional, social, physical, and cognitive development.

Meanwhile, “Bilingualism may or may not be a priority for families, depending on a child’s other needs. As long as parents are mindful of what their child needs, then a bilingual household should be a positive experience for the child which will help them connect to their cultural roots as well as learn an extra skill,” Lynn concluded.