Grandparents often have their grandkids’ backs whenever there is a conflict with their parents. The bond between them is usually so strong because grandparents soften with age and see this as a chance to relax and kick back with the kids.
Unfortunately, this grandma had a completely different idea and wanted to correct a behavior she thought was undesirable in her grandson. She tried to change his squeaky voice into something more manly, despite him only being a toddler, but luckily, her daughter found out about it.
More info: Reddit
Young children have a lot of growing and developing to do, and trying to rush them to change before their time might end up causing problems
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster started off by explaining that her three-year-old son was quite bubbly, excited, and had a very high-pitched voice
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One weekend, after the woman’s 60-year-old mother offered to babysit, she noticed that her toddler was unusually quiet and reserved
Image credits: massonstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster questioned her mom, she found out that she had been correcting the boy to change his voice so that he could speak in a “normal tone”
Image credits: Former_Suggestion_73
The woman was enraged and shut her mom’s behavior down because she had been telling the boy all weekend not to talk like a baby every time he got excited
The poster mentioned that her toddler was a very excited and happy child. He often narrated things and spoke with a high-pitched voice. She saw no problem with the way that he spoke, but what she didn’t realize was that her mother probably felt that it wasn’t how a boy should sound and wanted to correct it.
According to psychologists, children naturally have higher-pitched voices because their vocal folds are shorter. They also have shorter vocal tract lengths because they are still young and have to grow and develop. As they become older, their bodies change, and their vocal range slowly deepens.
Even though the older woman should have logically known that, she felt that she needed to rush to change her three-year-old grandson’s voice. She justified her controlling behavior by saying that she was just trying to help him develop a more normal tone, and that boys needed to sound strong, which is why the squeakiness should go.
It might seem odd how pushy this grandma was being, but studies have actually found that nearly half of all parents end up in disagreements with grandparents about various matters. The most common being their style of parenting, followed by discipline, and health. These conflicts can sometimes sour the relationship if they are not dealt with properly.
Image credits: dimaberlin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the OP found out that her mom had overstepped to such an extent and tried to retrain her son’s voice, she stood up to her and told her to back off. She made sure that her mom understood that if she ever did something like that again, she would lose out on the relationship with her daughter and grandson.
It can be tough to stand up to a parent like this. Toxic grandparents are difficult to deal with because even if they are undermining one’s authority, they know just what to say to get their way. This often involves gaslighting and guilt-tripping, where they make themselves out to be the victim.
The best way to deal with a meddling grandparent like this is to set boundaries as early on as possible. Rather than going on the offense and threatening them, you can approach the situation with love and explain what you’d like them to do. It’s also important to understand that they might be acting a certain way out of concern, and it’s just that their method might be wrong.
In this situation, the grandma was trying to correct a behavior that didn’t even need to be changed. Rather than letting the toddler be himself, she was trying to mold him into something different. Luckily, her daughter caught on quickly and set firm boundaries with her, which hopefully she’ll respect.
How would you have handled such a situation? We’d love to hear from you.
People were annoyed by the grandma’s behavior and were glad that the poster didn’t take her actions lying down
