No matter who you are or what you see and hear on social media, there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. Let’s repeat that so everyone in the back hears it, too: There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent! Absolutely everyone makes mistakes—they’re a part of the process. And there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids well.
You can tell a lot about a person by how they react to any mishaps you make or when they do something different than you. Some will be supportive or offer useful advice, while others reveal themselves to be incredibly judgmental and beyond critical. To show you what we mean, we’ve collected some of the worst stories about parents getting ‘mom shamed’ by others, as shared in an online thread. Scroll down for a crash course in how not to treat other parents.
#1
For having my two year old son on a toddler leash (cute backpack that looks like a rocket). He's a fast little fellow who doesn't understand not to run off or in front of cars, and I'm too pregnant to chase him.
Some guy came up to me at the grocery store and said, "You have him on a leash like a dog?!"
I just said, "Yup!" and kept walking.
Not giving my time to such judgy jerks.
Some guy came up to me at the grocery store and said, "You have him on a leash like a dog?!"
I just said, "Yup!" and kept walking.
Not giving my time to such judgy jerks.
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69points
#2
Some people- and it always seems to be older women- just love to comment/criticize. The two nastiest comments I've gotten are about how I let my daughter walk everywhere (what else would I do?) and that she shouldn't be playing in the dirt because it wasn't ladylike (ma'am she one, nothing about her is ladylike, and also she loves dirt and rocks).
67points
#3
I got shamed for ordering my almost two year old son water at a restaurant instead of milk or juice. He likes to drink water, what do you want from me?
57points
In a nutshell, mom shaming is when someone judges or criticizes a mom for her parenting style or choices. Choosing Therapy points out that even though this can sometimes come from a place of concern or a lack of knowledge about the context of the situation, it does more harm than good. The result? Insecurity. Anxiety. And self-doubt.
Some people have either very outdated or extremely unrealistic expectations of the role that moms supposedly ‘should’ have in raising their children. In some cases, the critics are extremely stubborn and believe that their approach to parenting is the one and only way to do things ‘right.’
Other times, the individual may be narcissistic or have serious self-esteem issues, so they feed their ego or feel better about their insecurities by putting other people down. It’s not far from bullying. Meanwhile, there are also those parents for whom raising children is a competition, so they constantly compare themselves to others and vice versa.
#4
That I whistled at her and she immediately returned to my side. Our boxer is trained to different whistles (and word/hand commands), we have land that we can hike with him being off leash. He never ventures far off, rarely out of eye sight, but does his last zoomies as we load up 4.5yo in the vehicle. She's learned what the different whistles mean, and will also respond to them. Each of us have our own "name" whistle to call our attention before next whistle.
Apparently I've trained her like a dog if I use the freeze/stop/come here/eyes on me whistles without thinking while at the park or grocery store.
Nope. We just live out in the county and use whistles vs yelling as my voice gives out easily when my sinuses are pissed off.
Apparently I've trained her like a dog if I use the freeze/stop/come here/eyes on me whistles without thinking while at the park or grocery store.
Nope. We just live out in the county and use whistles vs yelling as my voice gives out easily when my sinuses are pissed off.
51points
#5
When my son was 6 months old, my husband and I were chastised by a catholic priest in a hospital elevator. We were told “it’s ridiculous that one of you couldn’t stay home with your child. A hospital is no place for a baby.”
My son was the patient—he had been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder the week before. We were there to get some baseline tests done.
I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. My husband told him to mind his own business and informed him that my son was there for a heart echo. That priest stfu really quickly, but didn’t apologize.
My son was the patient—he had been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder the week before. We were there to get some baseline tests done.
I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. My husband told him to mind his own business and informed him that my son was there for a heart echo. That priest stfu really quickly, but didn’t apologize.
48points
#6
I was shamed by a co worker for having my first kid soooooo young. I was 20 when I had my first, she was f*****g 22....I've never wanted to smack someone so hard. .
40points
According to Choosing Therapy, some of the main ways in which other people shame moms include criticizing their choice to stay at home and breastfeeding choices. Mom-shamers also often judge non-traditional parenting roles, other parents’ children’s development, sleep training, and kids’ activities.
Stopping mom shaming means working on yourself, your perspective, and how you interact with the world. For one, you should stop comparing moms to each other. You also ought to think about each mom’s personal strengths, offer your support instead of being judgy, and also take a look at any self-esteem issues that you might have.
#7
I'm sorry, some people can be so rude and grumpy.
Last week, I had a woman at the swimming pool complain that my child was too loud. During public swim at a community pool. He was just laughing!
I'm trying not to take it to heart, but it is stuck in my head, and I'm so disappointed in people sometimes.
Last week, I had a woman at the swimming pool complain that my child was too loud. During public swim at a community pool. He was just laughing!
I'm trying not to take it to heart, but it is stuck in my head, and I'm so disappointed in people sometimes.
39points
#8
I had to go to the pharmacy to get myself medicine and I had all 3 of my kids (5, 3, and 1 at that time) with me in 2021. The female tech at the counter told me I shouldn’t be bringing my little kids with me and should leave them at home. I told her I have zero childcare and it’s just me, she argued back that I could have found someone.
39points
#9
I got mom shamed for choosing a natural birth without an epidural as well as breast feeding lol! People are wild. Give yourselves all the grace in the world ❤️.
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37points
You should also practice being more compassionate, think of the things you’re grateful for in life, focus on a growth-oriented mindset, and give other moms the benefit of the doubt. It often helps to reflect on what your own parenting journey was like and what challenges you faced.
Have you ever had anyone start shaming you for your parenting style, choices, or blunders, dear Pandas? How did you react to them? Where do you personally think the line between concern and criticism lies? From your perspective, what is a way to offer helpful parenting advice while also being supportive?
#10
Leaving an event when my toddler was tired and about to have a meltdown, but not “noticing she was tired way earlier and leaving before she got to this point”.
36points
#11
One of my kids is a T1 and we were in line once and his pump goes off letting us know he’s low. So we check his blood sugar and he treated. Then my youngest asked if he can have some candy too and because he had been behaving and hadn’t had a treat in a while I said sure and he has some too.
This older lady turns around and tells me I’m going to give my other kid the diabetes too. So my t1 (then 10) looks at her and said that’s not how type 1 diabetes works. My pancreas doesn’t make insulin that’s why I have a pump which gives me my insulin and I have to much insulin which is why I need the candy and how about you not tell me mom what to do and keep your opinion to yourself and b**t out. She then looks at me and says aren’t you going to parent your child and I said why should I when he’s right. You should b**t out.
Normally I would have made a smart a*s comment that will purposely embarrass her but he was tired and annoyed and he was quick to the punch.
This older lady turns around and tells me I’m going to give my other kid the diabetes too. So my t1 (then 10) looks at her and said that’s not how type 1 diabetes works. My pancreas doesn’t make insulin that’s why I have a pump which gives me my insulin and I have to much insulin which is why I need the candy and how about you not tell me mom what to do and keep your opinion to yourself and b**t out. She then looks at me and says aren’t you going to parent your child and I said why should I when he’s right. You should b**t out.
Normally I would have made a smart a*s comment that will purposely embarrass her but he was tired and annoyed and he was quick to the punch.
35points
#12
My daughter 7 at the time who has autism and adhd she has no concept of watching where she’s going etc she accidentally ran into a lady’s trolley (shopping cart) she yelled at her and I mean she actually yelled at her. to watch where your going .. I went off at her “ she has a disability you stupid b***h” a lady walking behind me congratulated me for putting her in her place.
35points
#13
Breastfeeding and not pumping so “no one else can feed him”.
35points
#14
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. People are just so rude!
When my son was about 15 we were at Home Goods. I picked up a comforter in one of those plastic bags. It was kinda bulky to carry but not heavy.
The 60-ish year old cashier gave me a disapproving look and said very rudely- “Mom you should be teaching him to carry these things for you”
I’m not really sure what I even said but I was so mad. Yeah he could’ve carried it but it wasn’t necessary. She doesn’t know the things he does for me around the house.. I can’t stand people sometimes.
When my son was about 15 we were at Home Goods. I picked up a comforter in one of those plastic bags. It was kinda bulky to carry but not heavy.
The 60-ish year old cashier gave me a disapproving look and said very rudely- “Mom you should be teaching him to carry these things for you”
I’m not really sure what I even said but I was so mad. Yeah he could’ve carried it but it wasn’t necessary. She doesn’t know the things he does for me around the house.. I can’t stand people sometimes.
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32points
#15
I was once mom shamed for getting a bottle of wine at the grocery store. The woman was older and went on a tangent about how irresponsible it was for me to drink. She even said "if you drink and fall asleep he could k**l himself"
Some people have experienced some terrible things and seen some things and they project. It was just a crazy experience. I left the store and was like I should have gotten a second bottle 🤣 just kidding.
Some people have experienced some terrible things and seen some things and they project. It was just a crazy experience. I left the store and was like I should have gotten a second bottle 🤣 just kidding.
31points
#16
Existing without my daughter. I dropped her off at preschool and then took my dogs for a walk before logging into work, my b***h neighbor gave me a snide “oh where’s the baby? Must be *so nice* to have a break!”.
31points
#17
I once got scolded for not spending “enough” one-on-one time with my then two-year-old. My husband and I had been home for maybe a week from the hospital with my second baby and were in survival mode.
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29points
#18
Just recently, I took my son out to Kemah, he just turned 4. He is taller than average, so maybeeee there was some confusion... BUT- he has just started amping up on potty training. It was just me and him there, lots of people. I took him into the woman's restroom nearby because there was no family section close, and he needed to go immediately. Once we came out of the stall, this mom who was helping her daughter wash her hands next to us (doing the same) was giving me a dirty look... she just kept looking at me, then my son, then back at me like I'm doing something incredibly horrible by taking my child to the potty.
What am I supposed to do?
It's not like I can just send him in alone to the crowded adult men's room and ask some stranger to help assist with getting him on the toilet. 🙄🤦♀️.
What am I supposed to do?
It's not like I can just send him in alone to the crowded adult men's room and ask some stranger to help assist with getting him on the toilet. 🙄🤦♀️.
29points
#19
My kid had the most severe dairy allergy his pediatrician office had seen. We switched to soy. Other non-dairy & non-soy formula did not work, he was vomiting actual fountains. Soy is the ONLY thing he kept down and he wasn't allergic to.
I got shamed non stop for feeding my baby toxins and poison. I was told to breastfeed, but I couldn't breastfeed, I had a miniscule supply, like 2oz a day from BOTH breasts after 6 weeks of trying to up it and extra pumping myself into a mental breakdown.
I got told to make my own, sorry but I'm not a f*****g nutritionist, I'm not doing that.
I got told I need to get goats milk, well that is also dairy.
I kept getting told soy is "not normal". Okay Brenda, how much f*****g blood is normal for a baby to s**t??? Because dairy makes my baby s**t blood.
I got shamed non stop for feeding my baby toxins and poison. I was told to breastfeed, but I couldn't breastfeed, I had a miniscule supply, like 2oz a day from BOTH breasts after 6 weeks of trying to up it and extra pumping myself into a mental breakdown.
I got told to make my own, sorry but I'm not a f*****g nutritionist, I'm not doing that.
I got told I need to get goats milk, well that is also dairy.
I kept getting told soy is "not normal". Okay Brenda, how much f*****g blood is normal for a baby to s**t??? Because dairy makes my baby s**t blood.
29points
#20
I didn’t attempt to induce lactation so I could breastfeed my adopted baby.
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27points