As nice as it would be to live in a world where you could find a partner whose take on life is just like yours, the reality is that no two people can agree on everything. So it's not the similarities that hold a couple together, but the will to work on the differences. And Reddit user u/3465throw_away thinks her husband might've exhausted his.
Earlier this week, she made an honest post about a fight they've been having: the woman's brother is throwing a child-free wedding and her husband, who has babysitter issues, refuses to allow her to accompany him. Instead, he demands she stay at home and watch over their kids while he goes on to celebrate the joyous occasion without her. Sounds awful, I know, but once you read the whole story, I promise, the picture looks even worse.
Image credits: Rafael Alves (not the actual photo)
The lack of desire to solve the issue from the husband reminded me of a piece we published about a guy and his man cave. This story seems like the perfect opportunity to revisit what we talked about then.
Relationship coach Jessica Brighton thinks that talking it through is pretty much the best thing partners can do when they see eye to eye on all but one thing.
“The key to a resolution becomes communication and the concept of picking your battles,” she told Bustle. “You need to have an extensive conversation to discuss your feelings and where each of you stands on the issue. If you determine that you are still unable to find common ground, then a compromise and agreeing to disagree may be your best plan of action.”
Brighton noted that nothing is perfect, but it’s necessary to focus on the positive and reframe your outlook if you want to stay together.
“We all have to deal with negative issues and unpleasant situations in the other avenues of our lives,” she said. “Why deal with one more in your personal life? If you determine that the positives in your relationship outweigh the negatives, I suggest you embrace the positivity and happiness that your relationship brings you and focus less on the one negative issue.”
Lost and confused, the woman asked the internet whether she was in the wrong
Image credits: 3465throw_away
However, finding a way to express your concerns to one another can be difficult. This is where clarity becomes crucial, as you don’t want your partner to focus their emotional energy on a counterargument to something you didn’t suggest. According to Catherine E. Aponte, Psy.D, it’s all about taking a beat to think over what you want before bringing it up.
“Being able to be clear about your specific take [something] and being able to clearly state your wishes or concerns is important to finding a workable compromise,” Dr. Aponte told Fatherly.
“Each of you wants to be able to express what you want to happen. Each of you is willing to explain why what you want to do is important to you. Each should give the other the opportunity to express his or her preference, without interruption.”
So if you find yourself in a similar predicament, the best course of action is to keep talking.
But they think it's her husband who's being unreasonable
