Parents often rely on the people they know to babysit their kids. According to a recent study, 26% of parents in the U.S. have depended on a family member, friend, or neighbor for unpaid childcare. It's okay when the other party is willing, but when is expecting someone to look after your kids an entitled Karen move?
Perhaps assuming your neighbor will babysit for you just because she's a SAHM and doesn't have anything better to do? That's what happened to this new mom when she joined the neighborhood Mommy And Me group. In refusing, she demonstrated that even mom friendships have boundaries.
Bored Panda also got in touch with the mother who posted this story. She kindly agreed to tell us more about her relationship with the other mom before this incident and what being a stay-at-home-mom has been for her so far. Read our conversation with u/Ok-Record2903 below!
A SAHM was asked to babysit a neighbor's kids, but felt no obligation or desire to do so
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev/Pexels (not the actual photo)
As she was a new mom herself, she felt the unruly neighbor's kids were just too much for her
Image credits: George Milton/Pexels (not the actual photo)
After she refused, the drama escalated into someone getting banned in the mommy group chat
Image credits: Ok-Record2903
"I think she was just being cheap ant thought she could bully me into saying 'Yes,'" the author wrote
"I was prepared to walk away from the group," the author tells Bored Panda
Image credits: Edwin Nava/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When we got in touch with u/Ok-Record2903, she told us a little bit more about what her relationship with the single mother was before this incident. "I thought she was very friendly,” the OP tells us. "Considering all my friends and fam were back home, I was happy that she lived just five minutes from me.
"As far as the neighborhood, I've been to the house that we live in several times because it was originally my in-laws' vacation home. They signed it over to me and my husband when we had to move unexpectedly to the area," the author explains.
u/Ok-Record2903 says it felt good having other moms in the group chat defend her. However, she says she's not one to tolerate any kind of petty mommy drama. "I was prepared to walk away from the group if it became some high school drama type of nonsense," the young mom told Bored Panda.
This is the first time the Redditor has experienced any kind of assumptions about her being a SAHM. "I've only been a stay-at-home mom for a few weeks. This is my first child and I've just recently gotten married.
"People kept making snide comments and asking why I would post," u/Ok-Record2903 said, addressing reactions from other Redditors. “[Asking AITA] when I was obviously not the AH.
"I posted the question because I'm new to being a mom and wanted to make sure that I wasn't being overly emotional and that I was seeing things in [a] proper light because I realize I just gave birth. Honestly, my emotions have been all over the place."
Being a SAHM doesn't mean you do nothing all day
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Working parents or those who don't have kids sometimes assume that stay-at-home parents have loads of free time and do nothing all day. This is perhaps expected, but SAHMs spend more time on housework, childcare, and leisure than their working counterparts do.
In 2014, Pew Research Center reported about how many hours stay-at-home and working mothers spend on these things. Apparently, SAHMs would spend seven hours more with their children per week and nine hours more doing housework. And while that’s not the same as being at work for nine hours a day, it's still hard.
On the other hand, some women would rather stay home with their kids than go to work. A 2015 Gallup poll showed that 56% of mothers with kids under the age of 18 would rather stay at home and take care of the kids.
Still, a 2024 report revealed that one in three families currently have at least one stay-at-home parent. But the image of a stay-at-home mom differs from what many of us have had ingrained in our minds since the 1950s.
The project Mother Untitled focuses on helping stay-at-home mothers with their mental health, as a whopping 79% say that most people don't understand what kind of work goes into being a SAHM. Sixty-eight percent say they feel unappreciated and undervalued.
Commenters congratulated the mom on standing her ground and suggested she charge a fee next time
