Sending kids to college is a milestone many parents anticipate with pride and anxiety. This story shows why.
Adoptive dad and Reddit user Unlucky-Bit6839 recently made a post on the platform, explaining that after his son went off to pursue a degree, the young man reconnected with his biological father, and the bond between them weakened so much that it became virtually nonexistent.
However, the son eventually reappeared, asking for money and using cheap emotional manipulation tactics to get his way. So now the dad is asking the internet if he is wrong to refuse financial support, even when the son threatens to cut him out of his life entirely.
This man went all in raising his adoptive son
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
But his son is threatening to cut him off if he refuses to give money
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Unlucky-Bit6839
Even if parents or guardians of adult children are eager to help them, many are risking their own financial future by doing so
Image credits: dragonimages / freepik (not the actual photo)
There might still be a chance that Mark will come back to his senses.
“I think of young adults as baby foals with wobbly legs,” says Jann Gumbiner, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and clinical professor at the University of California, Irvine College of Medicine. “They are just learning to walk, and they will fall down. They even have a right to fall down. Only by falling down and picking themselves up can they learn.”
We all have the right to make our own mistakes—in life, the test arrives before the lesson. But to receive the latter, Mark needs consequences, and not getting additional financial support could be one of them.
And the fact that the dad is making a post on Reddit to get other people’s input on the matter shows just how tricky this situation is.
According to Bankrate’s Financial Independence Survey, more than 3 in 5 (61 percent) parents/guardians of children age 18 or older are currently sacrificing, or have sacrificed, financially to assist them.
More than two-thirds (69 percent) of Gen X parents and carers (ages 44-59) of adult children say they’ve done or are doing just that right now, including sacrifices to their retirement accounts or emergency savings. That’s compared to only 56 percent of Baby Boomer parents and carers (ages 60-78) with adult children.
Parents and guardians have been helping their children by paying everyday bills, giving them lump sums for big purchases, or letting them live at home rent-free. Amid the high cost of housing, around half (49 percent) of adults age 23 or older who say they currently receive or have received ongoing financial assistance from their parents received help with housing.
The struggle to decide whether or not to continue paying their children’s bills can be difficult for parents, not only emotionally but also financially. As long as people continue to have difficulty paying everyday expenses, young adults may turn to their parents for financial help, and parents need to consider whether they can afford it in the long run.
As his story went viral, the dad answered people’s biggest questions
Most of the people who read what happened do not blame the dad for the fallout at all
Some, however, had a different opinion
