Occasional time just for yourself is crucial. It is something that can be very beneficial for both your mental and physical health. But as life goes on and the responsibilities grow, sometimes, that can become quite a luxury.
Though time-consuming, having a family and raising kids can be truly wonderful. But it’s supposed to be teamwork, isn’t it? Well, as this woman tells us, that’s not always the case, and she has had enough of it.
More info: TikTok
After finding her home in a total mess once again, a woman shares how she feels about her family ignoring her needs and wishes
Image credits: Mainline Musings
“I don't even know where to begin. Okay, I do”
“So, since October 9 of 2019 I have not had a night to myself at all. I have been home, obviously, there was a pandemic. But I also didn't work at the time. I was home, I have kids, my pets, the husband. I was a homemaker. Fast forward to about three months ago, and I got a job. And I love my job. It's been an adjustment for my family, myself included."
Image credits: Mainline Musings
"We come to today and we're technically on vacation. But because I took this job (it's in retail) I knew that I wasn't going to leave when they left"
"And it's two hours away. Then I thought to myself, you know what, I have not had a night to myself since 2019. Like, a full night that I did not have to take care of anybody but myself. So I am going to give myself that because my birthday is next week. Happy Birthday to me!"
Image credits: Mainline Musings
“Look at my house. Look at it”
“So I walked in because they left to go to the beach. And I have a sink full of dishes. I have to unload the dishwasher. Oh, there is food from today plus the mail from this week, all over the place. But then the laundry wasn't put away. Oh, look at my mudroom. Just trashed. My favorite thing is my laundry room, where it looks like a bomb went off. And my clean clothes that were in the basket, my husband threw on the floor, and then somebody else threw clothes on top of it.
So, um, so I am f*****g livid. And I'm just like, I love my family, but my kids are all old enough to take care of themselves. For 15 years, I've been everybody's frontal lobe. I always cleaned our house and I cleaned up well. So I just wanted to be able to come back from vacation to a clean house."
Image credits: Mainline Musings
"I know, I should have booked myself at least a manicure and pedicure, if not a massage for tomorrow"
"But I was like, you know what, it's fine, I’ll clean house. I hate clutter. And it's been stressing me coming into my house. So I will do it, I will just clean it. And then I'll meet them on Monday. Everything will be better for everybody, including myself. My mental health will be great.
Until I walked into this mess. And I'm so mad. So I just called my husband and was trying to be measured. I kind of was, but I told him this is f*****g bulls**t. And he was like, Oh, I had to get my hair cut. That was like his big thing. Oh, and I had to get everybody ready. They weren't getting ready. And I go, welcome to my life for the past 15 years. And oh, by the way, I also had to clean the goddamn house."
Image credits: Mainline Musings
"And he was like, well, you know, I didn't have time to do that yesterday"
"And I was like what? I didn't expect the house cleaned, but at least dishes done. And he didn't get the dishes done yesterday because he was golfing. Could our spawn do it? Absolutely. I tell them my expectations. And then I come home and it's not done. And then I say something and my husband says, oh, it's fine. No, it's not fine because now I have to clean.
So, ladies who aren't married yet, are considering getting married, considering having children. I love my family. I love my children. I don't regret having my children. But staying married? I am so mad. So mad."
Image credits: Mainline Musings
"I would never do this to my husband"
"I wouldn't if he hadn't had a night off in 4 years. I wouldn't do this. And yet it's okay to me. So I'm telling you, TikTok, I am telling you, don’t get married.
And if I go to our beach house, and I see a sock on the floor, I see one spoon in the sink, I'm gonna give them hugs, I'm gonna give them kisses and I'm turning around and I'm coming back home. I'm gonna get my dogs from the kennel and we're gonna chill out here all week.
I'm a redhead. I hate the beach. I had skin cancer. I don't want to even be on a beach vacation. But I do it because my family likes it. F**k this s**t. I am so mad. Anyhow."
Image credits: Mainline Musings
This TikToker, going under the pseudonym Mainline Musings, is an American woman living in Pennsylvania. Until recently, she was a stay-at-home mom, with her profile on the platform mainly consisting of posts where she shares interesting things from her daily life. However, it all took a turn when this woman got a new job, and her family had to make adjustments, which, among other things, resulted in a video that reached over 585 thousand views.
In this video, Mainline Musings is livid. As she describes it herself, she has been the frontal lobe of her family for the past 15 years and hasn’t had any time for herself since late 2019. But now, when the tables have turned and she requires help from her family, no one turns up.
She is furious about the mess they left before leaving for a vacation, and as if to rub salt into the wound, instead of apologizing, her husband makes pathetic excuses as to why he couldn’t do any cleaning up. That type of response sent this TikToker into a deep contemplation about whether this marriage is worth salvaging, which is what she decided to share with us.
The community members participating in the comment section showed great support to this creator. Some were simply shocked by what they’ve seen, others offered advice or sympathized with the advice provided by the TikToker, but they all seemed to agree that the husband was wrong.
Following the great interest in the story, Mainline Musings made a couple of other videos where she updates us on the developments of this situation:
In the first update video, which was uploaded five days later, she tells us how she ended up cleaning her home and joining her family on their vacation, which she then left early. With her family, at the time of the video, returning in about half an hour, she emphasizes that if the house is once again a mess when she comes back from work, there are going to be consequences.
We don’t know how that exact evening ended, but as some time went by, nothing really changed - except her. In the second update video, she starts with a sarcastic talk about how everything is perfect now, and everybody is doing their part, but later explains that things are more or less the same, but she simply doesn’t care as much anymore. Nowadays, she occasionally cleans up around the house and reminds her family of what must be done, but she rarely deals with any of their messes herself. And while on the inside, she still finds it hard to be so indifferent, she sees it as a necessary adjustment for both her and her family.
You can check out the TikTok video below
Curious about the importance of teamwork in a family, Bored Panda researched this topic more. According to Exercise & Sport Initiative at the University of Michigan (U-M ESSI), spending time together, even on housework tasks, has many health and emotional benefits. It can provide a sense of belonging, as well as a source of affection, guidance, and encouragement. It has the power to boost one’s mental and emotional health and, in turn, can translate to better academic and job performance, all the while teaching important values and life lessons.
However, most importantly, teamwork in the family is needed as a form of support during difficult times. And while this may not be felt as much during any other time, the lack of this kind of cooperation can really hit you hard when you’re down.
But in the end, things are rarely beyond repair. Team spirit inside families can be grown, and U-M ESSI offers several ideas for approaching this kind of team building. From regular family meetings and planning your day together to joint activities involving housework, volunteering, and vacationing, anything is possible with enough motivation and effort.
And in the case of Mainline Musings, nothing is lost just yet. For the moment, divorce seems to be off the table, and she herself appears to have found a way to cope with the situation at home. But for her and her family’s sake, we hope they will eventually find a more permanent solution to make it good for everybody involved, and they will do it together as a team.
But, of course, there are always multiple ways to deal with any situation. How would you act in this TikToker’s place? Have you had any similar experiences? Share your thoughts!
Commenters fully support this TikToker, agreeing that her husband’s actions and excuses were undeniably inappropriate
