TikTok Mom Exposes Her Postpartum Journey To Combat Unrealistic Depictions Of Post-Pregnancy Bodies

Having body image concerns is, sadly, a relatively common experience.

Several factors could influence the issue: the relationship with our close ones and the way they speak about bodies and looks in general; exposure to the unrealistic standards that are often portrayed on social media platforms; and past experiences such as bullying, teasing and harassment.

To give you a more illustrative example, a survey conducted by the Woman and Equalities Committee in the House of Commons in 2020 concluded that “61% of adults and 66% of children feel negative or very negative about their body image most of the time.”

Now, we all have an inner critic – however, establishing a healthy limit and learning to combat negative self-talk remains the number one priority among those who punish themselves for their “flaws.” Putting yourself down takes a massive toll on your mental health and overall wellbeing, and even though appreciating your body for what it can do doesn’t come that easily, this mother of four can certainly teach you a lesson or two!

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“If you’re at your lowest, feeling down about your body, remember your beautiful children that see no flaws, you’re loved. If you don’t have children, remember that our bodies do so much for us daily, you’re beautiful and you’re loved,” said Danisha Lestaevel under one of her Instagram publications.
The woman has been wowing netizens by documenting her frank and touching postpartum experiences. Her three-week post-pregnancy update has managed to garner over 19M views on TikTok, simultaneously contributing to the normalization of post-baby bodies.

Despite the absurdity of it, not everyone is aware that postpartum bodies differ from one another. Perhaps it’s the fault of our impressionability when viewing those meticulously selected social media postings that steal us away from reality, or perhaps it’s simple ignorance – whatever it is, scolding yourself (or others) for the body that created a life not bouncing back shouldn’t be a thing, let alone a normalized one.

Snapback culture places immense pressure on women all around the world. No new mother is immune to seeing yet another magazine cover where someone is getting lauded for toning up in an insanely fast manner. The thing is, society doesn’t care if we bounce back mentally or socially, it only matters appearance-wise; and it’s only with people like Danisha that we’ll be able to educate our community about this toxic expectation.

In 2020, Nisha shared via Instagram that she had been battling health challenges for a while. The woman had undergone a major surgery and had to be “cut open” multiple times while under general anesthesia. She said that she was terrified because her family members weren’t allowed to be present due to the COVID-19 regulations that were in place at the time.

The mother had to have help walking, using the bathroom, getting out of bed and more. She stated that it hurt to laugh, breathe, cough and move. She was barely sleeping – however, she was forever grateful for all the prayers and support she received.

She posted online to say that it’s okay to take a break from everything. “You come first, take care of yourself mentally and physically!” – added Nisha.

The woman also advised others to never judge people, as you can’t possibly know what someone is going through behind closed doors.

Tracey Rimell, a children’s body-positivity author, founder of self-acceptance publishing company Break That Mould, and a qualified Reiki master and Rahanni energy healing practitioner was kind enough to offer Bored Panda some professional insight:

“The role of social media and digital content plays a huge part in how we perceive ourselves nowadays. The images and messaging we are exposed to on a regular basis create a framework for what we perceive as normal and acceptable. So if we are repeatedly seeing images of sculpted filtered bodies, we subconsciously form a belief that it is normal, healthy, and beautiful.”

“Our intelligent minds might understand that filters and airbrushing have played a part in creating those images, but our subconscious mind still expects to see that in the mirror. And of course the majority of us do not look like that,” Tracey said.

The woman then continued, saying, “This is even harder for new mothers whose bodies have changed dramatically in a short space of time. Not only because they have been used to seeing something else for a very long time, but also because online content rarely celebrates all the messiness that comes with new motherhood, and doesn’t tend to show the reality of a postpartum body.”

“It’s really important to be kind and patient with ourselves when we are trying to adapt to a new version of our bodies. Being selective in what social media accounts we follow and what content we consume is really important in reshaping what we perceive as normal and acceptable. A great thing you can pro-actively do is curate your social media feed to make sure you are seeing images of real bodies on a regular basis – especially focussing on content from body positive sources and new mothers with realistic, unfiltered images. And also, don’t be afraid to unfollow accounts that have a negative effect or make you feel worse about yourself.”

The company founder also spoke on the role of energy in wellbeing and mental health: “When we berate ourselves for some aspect of our being, whether physical or otherwise, we put ourselves into a state of energetic resistance. Simply put, that means we are going against our own energetic flow.”

“In terms of energy, wellbeing is all about a state of allowing and acceptance. That does not mean we cannot change something if we want to, but working toward a goal in a state of self-love is entirely different than working toward a goal in a state of self-criticism. That’s if we even choose to change anything at all.”

Lastly, the expert mentioned: “Accepting change is always challenging, especially when it relates to our sense of self. It can be difficult to achieve true body positivity in one leap if where you are coming from feels more like a body image crisis. Instead of trying to feel great immediately, it can help to work towards neutrality in the first instance. Simply accepting your body as it is, without strong feelings in any direction. Appreciating the amazing things it does to keep you alive everyday can help with that process. Focussing on the fact that it brought life into the world, that your heart has been beating every day of your life, that your eyes see, ears hear etc. It’s easy to forget that our bodies were designed to ‘be’ and to ‘do’ rather than to look a certain way. But no matter what state our body is in, true wellness always has to include mental health, and self-acceptance is a major part of that.”

The experience of pregnancy and birth is life-changing; it’s a sacrifice and a gift, so why do some expect mothers to look absolutely the same afterwards? We should celebrate it and praise the women for all the great things they do, not for how quickly they’re able to “bounce back.”

Do you think it’s time for us to opt out of the toxic snapback culture?