You know, it’s really hard these days to find a person who would be happy with their own body; who would love themselves the way they are and wouldn’t see a flaw in every inch.
Unfortunately, unrealistic beauty standards, social media’s influence and fakeness make us compare ourselves with people that we see online. We tend to forget that every body is beautiful and every imperfection is just unique.
Despite all this, we all sometimes need a little support and compliments from our loved ones, regardless of how confident we are.
More info: Reddit
Commenting on your wife’s body just after she gave birth is a different kind of rude behavior
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Woman asks community members was she wrong to mock her best friend’s husband’s weight after his comments about his wife’s postpartum body
Image credits: throwaway629037
Image credits: Barnabas Davoti (not the actual photo)
Man mentioned that his wife still has to lose some weight after pregnancy to be as attractive as before
Image credits: throwaway629037
Her best friend backed her up by commenting about the guy’s weight, saying that there is no excuse for his appearance
A few days ago, a woman took her story to one of the most judgmental Reddit communities after she and her boyfriend had different opinions regarding her behavior in a situation. She backed her best friend up by shaming her husband after he made rude comments regarding the woman's postpartum body. The post received a lot of attention and in just 4 days got more than 17K upvotes.
To begin with, OP’s best friend and her husband just had a baby and very recently, they came over for dinner. After that, the group went to the hot tub and the author highlighted that her first thought when she saw her best friend was that she looks amazing, glowing and very happy. However, as shocking as it may sound, her husband just laughed and said that she still has some weight to lose to be ‘as attractive as she was before’.
After such a comment, the author remembers that her friend didn’t say anything, but her smile just disappeared. Of course, the woman immediately got angry at such insensitivity. She backed her best friend up by mocking her husband’s weight: “She just had a baby. What’s your excuse?” Later on, OP’s boyfriend slammed her for putting her nose in other people’s business and it was not her place to react.
The folks voted that the author in this situation was not being a jerk. “Not a great look to look the other way when someone is insulting their spouse in your home,” one user wrote. Another added: “It’s OP’s home, they have every right to call out inappropriate and hypocritical behavior. I bet Mr. Double Chin never disrespects his wife in front of OP again.”
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Carley, who is a new mom, self-care author and the founder of Hello Postpartum. She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding body image struggles after pregnancy.
“For some, the weight gain commonly experienced with pregnancy can affect a woman's self-esteem, especially if it is her first pregnancy,” Carley started. “The (relatively quick) increase in weight - paired with many surprising bodily changes - can leave some women feeling disconnected from their bodies, and, in turn, their self-esteem may take a hit.”
Speaking about the importance of support from close people, the author says that “Partners and loved ones play a crucial role in this time to remind new mothers what their bodies went through to grow and nourish a new baby. There is no 'bouncing back' to your previous self, so try to focus on embracing what's new and loving your body for all it's done.”
Additionally, Carley shared some of her advice on effective ways for a partner to support a new mom: “Encourage your birthing partner to purchase some clothes in her postpartum-body size that fit her body today. It's incredible what a nicely fitting outfit can instantly do for your self-esteem. Also, keep reminding her what her body has gone through to bring this baby into the world,” she emphasized.
And finally, “My most important advice is to refrain from subscribing to the bounce-back culture. The idea that a woman's body should 'bounce back' after birth is a myth and leaves many women striving for an impossible standard. Instead, work on celebrating your body and all that it has done. Remember that it took nine months to grow a baby, so it will most likely take longer for some to start to feel more comfortable in their postpartum skin.”
And of course, don’t forget to check out the Hello Postpartum website and Instagram, where you can find any information for your life after birth!
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Moreover, Crystal Karges, who is a Maternal Child Health Specialist at Crystal Karges Nutrition, shared her insights with Bored Panda regarding self-esteem after pregnancy as well as recommendations!
“The rapid changes a woman experiences in her body as her baby grows can be challenging,” Crystal says. “Many women may hold an expectation about how their pregnant bodies should look, and these ideas are often influenced by diet culture's portrayal of pregnant bodies. Women are celebrated for being pregnant but not looking pregnant.”
Now, Crystal shared how partners can support new mothers: “Remind her that her body size is the least important thing about her and that while her body has changed, her worth is unchanging. Tell her that she is an amazing mother and how proud you are of her - look at what her amazing body has done to grow and bring this human into the world. New mothers need this unconditional love and acceptance spoken over them when their inner voice can be loud and critical.”
Moreover, the specialist shared advice for new mothers: “It takes time to get to know your new body, and give yourself the time you need to befriend it. You don't have to love your body. You don't even have to like it or how your body's changed. But you can learn to be kind to yourself and to respect your body for all it's overcome and brought you through. How you feel about your body doesn't have to dictate how you decide to care for your body.”
And finally, Crystal shared some effective ways for partners to communicate and support each other after giving birth: “Affirming your unconditional acceptance of each can also promote security within your relationship, especially for a partner who is experiencing a tumultuous relationship with body image after pregnancy. Consider highlighting qualities and characteristics of each other that are not body-focused or appearance-related.”
“Engage in meaningful activities together that promote self-care, like cooking and enjoying a meal together or spending time in nature. You might also consider ways you can challenge and reframe negative thoughts your partner may be expressing after pregnancy. Lastly, as a partner to a new mother, consider ways you can cultivate body positivity into your own life to lead by example.”
Oh and don’t forget to check out Crystal’s website, Instagram and Blog! Also, for mothers or moms-to-be recovering from an eating disorder, food issues or poor body image, check out our free virtual support group called Lift the Shame. You're not alone!
Folks in comments praised the author for being brave and defending her best friend
