Making fun of yourself can be healthy. We all might need a reality check sometimes, to keep our arrogance intact, and a self-deprecating joke might be the best medicine for that. Scientific research also shows that we tend to like people who can crack a joke about themselves from time to time.
A 2017 Japanese study revealed that self-deprecating humor was "perceived as socially desirable" and that we favor people who use such humor. On the other hand, if we know self-deprecating jokesters closely, we're more likely to think that the jokes are coming from an insecure place and they lack self-confidence.
When we think of friends, most of us associate them with laughter. Having a similar sense of humor is important in friendships, as 82% of young people deem sense of humor as an important quality in an ideal friend. In fact, it's the most important trait for youngsters aged 10-17, above honesty and kindness.
At work, self-deprecating jokes might be useful if you're a leader. A 2016 study found that employees associate a leader's sense of humor to their effectiveness. If a manager or boss is able to laugh at themselves, the subordinates are more likely to trust them.
There's something about humor that makes us automatically think the person is more confident. Even when a joke doesn't land or is deemed inappropriate, we still view the teller as a confident person.
Researchers tested this out with Swiss tourism ad announcers. When they included a little joke in the advertisement, the audience rated the announcer who said the joke as being more confident and competent than a serious one. Some even thought he was the leader.
Self-deprecating humor might illicit automatic trust in people because it requires vulnerability. "People who tend to use self-deprecating humor effectively are quite humble and self-aware," clinical psychologist Natalie Dattilo says. "For me, it is not making fun of yourself; it is taking yourself, or the situation that you’re in, less seriously."
But self-deprecating jokes don't always land. They almost always come with a certain kind of risk. Sometimes, people perceive people who use self-deprecating humor as attention seekers. "Somebody might be using what sounds like humor, but what it's drawing from us is sympathy," Natalie Dattilo, clinical psychologist, explains. "It may also be a little off-putting on the receivers."
Self-deprecation also thrives in some cultures more than in others. Dattilo points out that in the Western world, where individualism is the norm, we look for relatability and approachability in people. A person being vulnerable and using self-deprecating jokes is therefore almost instantly more relatable.
