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Some moments live on in our minds rent-free for years to come. Especially if they left us feeling embarrassed by our own awkward behavior. Granted, some of us have more mortifying memories than others. But generally, no one is immune to making the odd social blunder now and again.
Something that can help minimize the number of foot-in-mouth moments we have is learning to read social cues. So what are they?
According to Jaunty, a website that markets itself as "the gym for social skills," these are non-verbal signals that people use to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The signals can be subtle or overt, and "often convey more information than words alone," notes the site.
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Social cues can include body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, eye contact, distance, and... wait for it... silence.
Missing these hidden signs can not only lead to awkward situations and misunderstandings, but could even end up damaging relationships. "Misreading a colleague’s body language during a meeting or failing to catch the tone of a partner’s voice can have significant negative implications," warns Jaunty.
On the flipside, knowing how to perceive and react to social cues can help us build and strengthen interpersonal connections.
"When you can recognize and interpret social cues, you can adapt your behavior and communication to suit various social situations and avoid misunderstandings or conflicts," notes the site.
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According to verywellhealth.com, it's estimated that around 60% to 65% of social communication is through non-verbal behaviors.
For example, directly looking into someone's eyes can signal interest, attentiveness, or serious intent, while averting your gaze can signal disinterest, discomfort, or distraction. "Even the angle of one's gaze or the rolling of eyes can be interpreted as conveying sarcasm, disapproval, or impatience," adds the site.
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How close someone stands to you can also say a lot. "Being close or leaning into someone can be used to express affection, while pulling back or angling away may express disapproval or shock, or to convey that one's 'personal space' has been invaded," explains verywellhealth.com.
Jaunty's experts believe that improving learning to read body language is one of the best ways to improve one’s ability to pick up social cues. They advise paying attention to other people and actively observing them during social interactions.
It also helps to pay attention to your own body language during conversations since it impacts how others perceive and respond to you.
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"Some common body language cues to look for include posture, facial expressions, and hand gestures," explains the Jaunty site. "For example, crossed arms might indicate defensiveness or discomfort, while an open posture suggests confidence and approachability."
The communication experts add that a furrowed brow might suggest confusion or concern, while a smile indicates happiness or friendliness.
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We mentioned silence earlier. And here's why it's important.
"Silence is a powerful nonverbal communication tool that can convey various emotions and thoughts," notes Jaunty, adding that it can indicate contemplation, agreement, or disagreement, depending on the context.
Practice pro-active listening during conversations if you want to improve your ability to recognize the meaning of silence. And pay attention to your own moments of silence. "By paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, one can develop a better understanding of how silence is used to convey meaning in different situations," Jaunty explains.
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When there's not silence, don't forget to pay attention to someone's tone of voice. Experts believe this is a crucial aspect of nonverbal communication, as it can convey a person’s emotional state and attitude.
"By listening to the pitch and tone of someone’s voice, one can often get a sense of their mood, level of interest, or emotional state," Jonty's experts say. "For instance, a high-pitched, excited tone might indicate happiness or enthusiasm, while a low-pitched, monotonous tone could indicate boredom or disinterest."
Feel free to share your own mortifying moments of awkward embarrassment in the comments down below. Who knows, it might help a few of us avoid making the same mistakes that you wish you hadn't.
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