I Asked People To Share Their Pain Of Miscarriage And Photographed Them (23 Pics)

25 years ago, I left school to get my first assistant photographer job. 22 years ago, I moved from Aberdeen to London to pursue my photography career. 18 years ago, I got my first non-assisting job working for venture photography. 15 years ago, I met the lady I would go on to marry and 12 years ago we suffered our first miscarriage. It would not be our last.

The images from this miscarriage photography project all feature parents who have all had very different experiences. Some have never managed to carry any pregnancy to term; some have suffered one and others have suffered multiple miscarriages; some miscarried in the first trimester and others have had the trauma of a stillbirth. One couple had suffered a miscarriage just 4 weeks before sitting for me and for some, it’s been many years, but regardless of their story, each and every parent here has a common bond.

As each day passes, we never hear our baby cry. We never see their beautiful eyes. We never got to feel our baby grip our fingers. We will never know them, but they were still a baby… our baby!

When it came to looking for people to be a part of a miscarriage photography project, I found that there were a lot of parents out there who were actually willing to be a part of it, which was a surprise as normally, getting people to open up about their miscarriage experience is a battle in itself. The variety of stories that came in from people asking to contribute their time was incredible, but the number of people was the thing that took me most by surprise. There are more people out there than you could ever imagine that have suffered this terrible loss.

These images were designed to show that these children were important to the parents that lost them. To assume that a family who goes on to have a rainbow baby instantly forget about the loss of a child, even within the first trimester, is naive. It is, however, a common misconception. This is why it is so important to talk and to ask someone how they are.

I chose to feature both mums and dads within this project as the loss is something that has an impact on both parents. I did, however, intentionally keep the ratio of women higher as they are obviously both mentally and physically affected. There is a mix of emotions on display because when each person sat for me, I didn’t direct them in a particular way or show them what had been done previously. No one knew how the finished image would look or what would feature. Each subject was simply asked to sit in front of me for 5 minutes holding an object and just take the time to reflect on their loss.

I am incredibly grateful to every participant as reflecting on our losses is something that if we do it, it’s only done behind closed doors. My wife and I have been blessed with 2 daughters that aren’t aware that they are both rainbow babies, but there are still days, years later, that the pain of loss comes back. When I was looking for volunteers, for some, the idea of taking the time to think about what happened was too difficult and they decided not to take part. Those that did give up their time for this project sat for me in February and March 2020 prior to lockdown.

I have never before embarked on such an emotional journey within my photography career and truth be told, I don’t think I could do it again. My heart goes out to each of these parents and to anyone else that has suffered the same experience as we have. As a photographer who is known for and loves humor within my imagery, the challenge of such a heartbreaking and personal subject matter has been demanding yet inspiring and somewhat cathartic. My hope is these images will start a conversation.

If you have someone in your life that has gone through this type of loss, irrespective of how long it has been, ask them how they are and don’t forget the dads. It is all too easy to forget, given the physical side of things doesn’t affect the dads, that they are in pain. It is something that mentally affects both parents.

This miscarriage photography project has been a huge part of my personal development in recent months. I never imagined that any photographic project would evolve from something I’m doing for myself into something that feels so much more important and quite simply bigger than me. I have also been surprised how this project has become a healing process for myself and for many of the people that sat for me. The message within this panel is something I really believe in and that is "to talk!"