There are plenty of stories revolving around the classic “monster-in-law” trope: the overbearing, boundary-crossing force of nature who turns everything into her business.
But some mothers-in-law (MILs) don’t even wait for the vows to be exchanged before showing their true colors.
People online have been sharing the wild times their MIL tried to completely hijack their wedding day, and honestly, these horror stories could give Hollywood drama a run for its money.
One MIL showed up determined to wear her own wedding dress to her son’s big day. Another had a full-on meltdown after being left out of the wedding speech.
We’ve rounded up more such unhinged moments that prove that some family dynamics can get incredibly messy.
#1 Mother Tried To Wear A White Dress To Sister's Wedding, So We Stood Her Up
To recap, my sister was set to get married back in April, which was obviously cancelled. A little while ago, she and her fiancee had a COVID safe wedding last weekend. We planned on having 10 people including brides and the officiant, social distancing was observed, we all wore masks when possible, so on so forth.
My mother has a history of making events about herself, for example:
she showed up 15 minutes late to my high school graduation
didn't show up at all to either of my sister's graduations
decided she didn't like my major so refused to go to my college graduation, hid my sister's car keys so she couldn't go either. Then 17-year-old sister ended up catching public transport for several hours ALONE because she didn't want to disappoint me.
turned up halfway through my wedding ceremony in sweatpants just to make a scene that we didn't tell her the right time (we did)
wanted to be the first to hold my kids. Uh no.
So we kind of knew she would pull something at my sister's wedding, especially considering she had made some pretty homophobic comments about the relationship before. We don't know our dad, and because of COVID there wasn't really a bridal party, so I ended up as the father of the bride, brother of the bride and MOH rolled into one. One of my jobs was keep our mother in check
The night before, my wife and kids stayed at my mother's house, while I stayed with my sister. The plan was that Wife would drive our kids and my mother, since Mother can't drive. The morning of the wedding, my wife sent me a photo of what my mother planned on wearing. Not only was it white, but it was VERY similar to my sister's wedding dress. Wife had suggested she wear something else, but apparently this was the only nice thing she owned. She also locked the bedroom door so Wife couldn't go find her something.
When Wife told me this, I told her to tell Mother that there was a change of plans and that we would pick her up in the nicer car I was driving my sister in so she could make a grand entrance with us. She obviously agreed, so didn't see an issue when my wife and kids left on their own at the original time. As the title suggests, my sister and I never picked her up.
I told my sister what was happening during the drive to the ceremony, and she wasn't at all shocked with what our mother had done. She did suggest that we call her before the ceremony began, so that I could run down and pick her up if she saw the error of her ways. She never answered the phone, and never called any of us, so we just got on with.
Obviously, Mother is livid, but hey, we all had a great time. I know a lot of people have seen this as cruel, but thought that some of you might find it useful or an enjoyable read. Don't let anybody ruin your wedding.
My mother has a history of making events about herself, for example:
she showed up 15 minutes late to my high school graduation
didn't show up at all to either of my sister's graduations
decided she didn't like my major so refused to go to my college graduation, hid my sister's car keys so she couldn't go either. Then 17-year-old sister ended up catching public transport for several hours ALONE because she didn't want to disappoint me.
turned up halfway through my wedding ceremony in sweatpants just to make a scene that we didn't tell her the right time (we did)
wanted to be the first to hold my kids. Uh no.
So we kind of knew she would pull something at my sister's wedding, especially considering she had made some pretty homophobic comments about the relationship before. We don't know our dad, and because of COVID there wasn't really a bridal party, so I ended up as the father of the bride, brother of the bride and MOH rolled into one. One of my jobs was keep our mother in check
The night before, my wife and kids stayed at my mother's house, while I stayed with my sister. The plan was that Wife would drive our kids and my mother, since Mother can't drive. The morning of the wedding, my wife sent me a photo of what my mother planned on wearing. Not only was it white, but it was VERY similar to my sister's wedding dress. Wife had suggested she wear something else, but apparently this was the only nice thing she owned. She also locked the bedroom door so Wife couldn't go find her something.
When Wife told me this, I told her to tell Mother that there was a change of plans and that we would pick her up in the nicer car I was driving my sister in so she could make a grand entrance with us. She obviously agreed, so didn't see an issue when my wife and kids left on their own at the original time. As the title suggests, my sister and I never picked her up.
I told my sister what was happening during the drive to the ceremony, and she wasn't at all shocked with what our mother had done. She did suggest that we call her before the ceremony began, so that I could run down and pick her up if she saw the error of her ways. She never answered the phone, and never called any of us, so we just got on with.
Obviously, Mother is livid, but hey, we all had a great time. I know a lot of people have seen this as cruel, but thought that some of you might find it useful or an enjoyable read. Don't let anybody ruin your wedding.
38points
#2 The Time My MIL Tried To Bulldoze My Wedding Venue Setup But Got Caught In A Blizzard Instead
My one-year wedding anniversary is coming up soon, and I’ve been reminiscing about how Mother Nature said “not today” when my MIL tried to get to my wedding venue before we did.
As we were wrapping up all our wedding planning, my MIL casually mentioned over FaceTime that she planned to arrive at the location of our wedding (a 12-hour drive for her) one day before me.
Two weeks before the wedding, she proceeded to torment me with frequent texts and calls—making pointless last-minute changes to our wedding playlist, demanding that we “needed to get married outside on the balcony” in January, and generally overstimulating me. I’m an event planner in the wild, and my goal was to have pencils down on all items the week before the wedding to avoid stress. I had already intentionally finished planning everything to my liking, so this was really unnecessary and obnoxious.
Needless to say, I was very wary of her arriving at the venue before I did and trying to bulldoze me, so I spent the entire week leading up to the wedding planning the full room setup with the wedding coordinator. We kept the ceremony indoors due to the frigid weather. I picked where the tables, DJ booth, cake station, etc. would go in the floor plan. My wedding coordinator did a great job prepping everything before I even stepped foot in the door.
On the Wednesday morning before our Saturday wedding, my MIL and step-FIL began their 12-hour drive from a southern state up to our northern state. Alas, a freak winter storm stopped them in their tracks. They barely made it out of their state before pulling off to stop at a hotel for the night while 6–8 inches of snow fell. I got a real chuckle out of it.
The next day, we headed to our wedding venue and beat my MIL there by several hours. Everything was perfect. I dropped off some decor and headed to our Airbnb. Later, I got a text from the wedding coordinator letting me know that my MIL had arrived and was acting super dramatic and complaining about the entire setup. She had also brought SIX boxes of her own decor that she wanted to start “decorating” with. They explained that the bride had set the room this way and that they were working to make me happy—not her.
Sometimes you just have to be thankful for a little bit of snow.
As we were wrapping up all our wedding planning, my MIL casually mentioned over FaceTime that she planned to arrive at the location of our wedding (a 12-hour drive for her) one day before me.
Two weeks before the wedding, she proceeded to torment me with frequent texts and calls—making pointless last-minute changes to our wedding playlist, demanding that we “needed to get married outside on the balcony” in January, and generally overstimulating me. I’m an event planner in the wild, and my goal was to have pencils down on all items the week before the wedding to avoid stress. I had already intentionally finished planning everything to my liking, so this was really unnecessary and obnoxious.
Needless to say, I was very wary of her arriving at the venue before I did and trying to bulldoze me, so I spent the entire week leading up to the wedding planning the full room setup with the wedding coordinator. We kept the ceremony indoors due to the frigid weather. I picked where the tables, DJ booth, cake station, etc. would go in the floor plan. My wedding coordinator did a great job prepping everything before I even stepped foot in the door.
On the Wednesday morning before our Saturday wedding, my MIL and step-FIL began their 12-hour drive from a southern state up to our northern state. Alas, a freak winter storm stopped them in their tracks. They barely made it out of their state before pulling off to stop at a hotel for the night while 6–8 inches of snow fell. I got a real chuckle out of it.
The next day, we headed to our wedding venue and beat my MIL there by several hours. Everything was perfect. I dropped off some decor and headed to our Airbnb. Later, I got a text from the wedding coordinator letting me know that my MIL had arrived and was acting super dramatic and complaining about the entire setup. She had also brought SIX boxes of her own decor that she wanted to start “decorating” with. They explained that the bride had set the room this way and that they were working to make me happy—not her.
Sometimes you just have to be thankful for a little bit of snow.
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23points
For some couples, choosing the music and the centerpiece is a piece of cake. The real battle of wedding planning is managing the family group chat.
According to a survey from wedding platform Zola, around 42% of couples say family drama is their single biggest planning headache.
Couples frequently report intense anxiety over parents weaponizing financial contributions to hijack the guest count. Some couples also face pushback when rejecting traditional religious elements, or opting for unconventional clothing, venue, or décor.
#3 My MIL Is Wearing A White Dress To My Wedding...
And you know what? I’m just gonna sit back and let it happen. Mainly because she’s so stubborn, and I doubt she would cooperate if I were to ask her nicely to wear something else. However, the women in my family are all very catty/gossipy. There will be lots of stares, whispers, pointing, and “Oh my gosh, do you believe what MIL is wearing?” She’ll be shamed , and I won’t have to play the “Evil DIL” card. We’re having barbecue food, so I’m hoping she ends up spilling. Last but not least, I plan on paying the photographer extra to photoshop the color of her dress.
Less than 2.5 months to go.
Less than 2.5 months to go.
21points
#4 My Mum Just Destroyed My Nan's Wedding Dress Because I Wanted To Wear It
In my last post I explained that my nan was a happy housewife, and she pushed that lifestyle onto her daughters. Mum went the opposite way, telling me that I should put my career over all else. Nan was always arguing with one of her kids when they were adults, including my mum, but mum still allowed nan to babysit me and we became very close before she passed away. I'm getting married, and I want to wear nan's dress, which was originally worn by her in the late 60s, was restored in the mid 90s, and was preserved and still in good condition today. When I told mum she became upset and angry, saying I couldn't use nan's dress as I look too much like nan already and the dress would add to that, and began sending me other dress ideas and offered to pay for a new one, all of which I rejected.
The dress was being stored at nan's house. My grandfather was looking after it and he was the one who offered me the dress in the first place. It was up in his attic and was very carefully stored.
3 days ago, mum went to grandad's house, saying that I'd tasked her with picking up the dress. Grandad let her in. She then left without the dress. Grandad realised she'd forgotten the dress after she left, went up to the attic, and found it covered in black stains. He called me.
I think it's ink. The dress is made with lace so I've been hand washing it as carefully as I can but it's not coming out. Grandad says it's fine, and it's just a dress, but he's clearly upset over this. I've spoken to mum, once, and she completely ignored my questions about the dress, only offering to buy me a new dress, and refusing to talk about nan's dress, aside from saying it wouldn't have suited me, anyway. Presumably because it would have made me look like nan.
I am at my wit's end with her, and I just can't believe she would do this. I get she and nan had issues, but her issues with nan were not my issues with nan, but she's letting that shape my relationship with her. This was just so unnecessarily petty and spiteful. I don't even know what to say to her any more.
I don't know what to say past this. I'm just furious.
The dress was being stored at nan's house. My grandfather was looking after it and he was the one who offered me the dress in the first place. It was up in his attic and was very carefully stored.
3 days ago, mum went to grandad's house, saying that I'd tasked her with picking up the dress. Grandad let her in. She then left without the dress. Grandad realised she'd forgotten the dress after she left, went up to the attic, and found it covered in black stains. He called me.
I think it's ink. The dress is made with lace so I've been hand washing it as carefully as I can but it's not coming out. Grandad says it's fine, and it's just a dress, but he's clearly upset over this. I've spoken to mum, once, and she completely ignored my questions about the dress, only offering to buy me a new dress, and refusing to talk about nan's dress, aside from saying it wouldn't have suited me, anyway. Presumably because it would have made me look like nan.
I am at my wit's end with her, and I just can't believe she would do this. I get she and nan had issues, but her issues with nan were not my issues with nan, but she's letting that shape my relationship with her. This was just so unnecessarily petty and spiteful. I don't even know what to say to her any more.
I don't know what to say past this. I'm just furious.
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16points
#5 My Future Mother In Law Is Trying To Bulldoze My Wedding Already
Me (27F) and my fiance (44M) are trying to plan our wedding. We met over FaceTime with his mom (79F) about mother of the groom dresses and how she will be transported to the venue as she uses an electric scooter.
That very quickly got derailed, she said she wanted to wear a WEDDING DRESS!! HERS. From her wedding back in like the 1800s. My fiance was just as horrified as I was and told her that if she shows up in a wedding dress she'd be escorted off the venue. She then went on a gigantic rant about everything we're doing wrong with our wedding.
Wrong venue, wrong state, wrong flowers, wrong colors, wrong food, everything is wrong in her eyes. So her bright idea? Plan her own wedding for us!! Doing everything we do not want at our wedding. His family is a very traditional devout Christian southern family, so imagine the scandal when we said we aren't getting married in a church.
I am Native American so I've added some of my culture to the wedding too (my jewelry, the centre pieces and rugs will be made from my family members who grew up in our reservation). Future MIL did not like that all, she said we'd have to be "classy" at our wedding. (Fiance also shut that down). She's also upset that my fiancés children will be leaving the wedding at 9pm, that was a mutual decision between fiance & his ex wife, I wasn't involved in that.
I really don't know what I've done to make her hate me this much, she loves his brothers wives, she even paid for her oldest sons wedding fully. I'm thissssssss close to just going to the courthouse and using this money to have a month long honeymoon. I'm sorry if this is kinda long 😞 any advice on how to deal with her behavior? Or do I just throw in the towel and go on a long honeymoon.
That very quickly got derailed, she said she wanted to wear a WEDDING DRESS!! HERS. From her wedding back in like the 1800s. My fiance was just as horrified as I was and told her that if she shows up in a wedding dress she'd be escorted off the venue. She then went on a gigantic rant about everything we're doing wrong with our wedding.
Wrong venue, wrong state, wrong flowers, wrong colors, wrong food, everything is wrong in her eyes. So her bright idea? Plan her own wedding for us!! Doing everything we do not want at our wedding. His family is a very traditional devout Christian southern family, so imagine the scandal when we said we aren't getting married in a church.
I am Native American so I've added some of my culture to the wedding too (my jewelry, the centre pieces and rugs will be made from my family members who grew up in our reservation). Future MIL did not like that all, she said we'd have to be "classy" at our wedding. (Fiance also shut that down). She's also upset that my fiancés children will be leaving the wedding at 9pm, that was a mutual decision between fiance & his ex wife, I wasn't involved in that.
I really don't know what I've done to make her hate me this much, she loves his brothers wives, she even paid for her oldest sons wedding fully. I'm thissssssss close to just going to the courthouse and using this money to have a month long honeymoon. I'm sorry if this is kinda long 😞 any advice on how to deal with her behavior? Or do I just throw in the towel and go on a long honeymoon.
14points
Many parents also view the wedding as a reflection of their own social standing, pushing for larger venues, fancier menus, and massive guest lists to satisfy family obligations.
Wedding spending is often treated as a way of signaling commitment and wealth within one’s community.
This can spark bitter family feuds over a day that is supposed to be about the couple’s commitment and not the parents’ reputation.
#6 The Wedding Made Her Lose Her Marbles
Hi everybody, SO and I got married 12 days ago. Yeeey! It was the most perfect day of my life and exactly how we wanted it. Everyone had loads of fun.... Except my MIL and GMIL. They complained the food was bad (everyone else loved it), the music was too loud, there were not enough sweets, my dress was too long and people will step on it... The most ridiculous complaints really. They didn't meet many people and looked down right miserable the whole time. My MIL was shocked her own son would ignore her at the wedding (due to her sulking). He decided she deserved no attention due to her behaviour. Unlike them, FIL was the life of the party and we were very thankful for him. After our wedding, we gave my inlaws all the left overs and said we will come to lunch the next day. When we came, they were complaining some more and my MIL was stand offish the entire time. I haven't payed much attention to her. THEN... She posted the famous quote on her Facebook: "A mother is a son's first true love. A son is a mother's last true love." My thoughts were: "whatever, she is spiraling". But, there is more. The day after that she posted 6 photos of our wedding. On 5 of the photos, there were pictures of inlaws. The 6th photo was of my husband alone. I didn't need to comment on anything, cause my husband left her a comment: "It looks like I married myself. What a nice message you are sending to my wife and the family I created." She deleted his photo and is now crying every day, playing the victim. I see this as our small victory.
13points
#7 MIL Cried At Our Wedding Because Husband Didn’t Mention Her In His Speech For Me
Husband gave a wonderful speech during our wedding, thanking both sides of family, along with his grandparents who traveled from out of state. She didn’t like that the grandparents got a specific call out and she got lumped in under the family thanks. She went outside bawling her eyes out and missed most of our reception, she came back looking miserable after with swollen eyes. Even my parents asked what’s happening smh, i truly can’t believe this lady. She managed to make her son’s wedding about herself.
11points
#8 MIL Threatening To Sabotage My Wedding
I’m getting married soon and my MIL said she refuses to come to the wedding if her ex-husband (my fiancé’s dad) and his wife are invited. She’s not just bowing out quietly either, she’s threatening to sabotage the wedding if he comes by threatening to call all the invitees from her side of the family and make them boycott the wedding.
We’ve booked a beautiful 5,000+ sq ft venue for 150 guests. But now, it’s starting to feel like the day might be full of tension and drama, or worse, half empty.
My fiancé is fully on my side and knows his mom is being selfish. He’s even said she’s a narcissist, and he’s trying hard to shield me from the stress, but it still hurts.
Now we’re looking at a guest list that’s potentially cut in half, a massive venue that might feel too empty, and the emotional gut-punch of people choosing sides over something that should be about love and unity and more importantly, US!
I’m heartbroken. We don’t want to uninvite his dad just to appease her, but I’m also not sure how to emotionally navigate all this, or how to make the day still feel joyful and full.
TL;DR: MIL is threatening to sabotage our wedding if her ex (my fiancé’s dad) comes. She’s trying to get her whole side of the family to boycott. Now half our guest list might not show up, and I’m heartbroken that our wedding might be filled with tension and empty seats instead of love and support.
We’ve booked a beautiful 5,000+ sq ft venue for 150 guests. But now, it’s starting to feel like the day might be full of tension and drama, or worse, half empty.
My fiancé is fully on my side and knows his mom is being selfish. He’s even said she’s a narcissist, and he’s trying hard to shield me from the stress, but it still hurts.
Now we’re looking at a guest list that’s potentially cut in half, a massive venue that might feel too empty, and the emotional gut-punch of people choosing sides over something that should be about love and unity and more importantly, US!
I’m heartbroken. We don’t want to uninvite his dad just to appease her, but I’m also not sure how to emotionally navigate all this, or how to make the day still feel joyful and full.
TL;DR: MIL is threatening to sabotage our wedding if her ex (my fiancé’s dad) comes. She’s trying to get her whole side of the family to boycott. Now half our guest list might not show up, and I’m heartbroken that our wedding might be filled with tension and empty seats instead of love and support.
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10points
Pop culture has basically made the MIL the default villain. In sitcom jokes or movie plots, she’s usually the one criticizing, meddling, overstepping, or making everything about herself.
But does real life actually mimic the movies, or is it the other way around?
Experts note that it’s a bit of both, with reality and fiction constantly feeding off each other.
#9 Controlling My Wedding
My MIL has to just about control every single thing in her sights. We’re planning to get married in august with just our parents and siblings & NOBODY else. Our siblings are all married and will be coming with their spouses. Both of our parents are divorced and do have bf/gf’s. We asked our parents to not bring their bf/gf’s as we want an intimate wedding with just our parents and not have to worry about drama. My parents and his dad completely understood and agreed. HIS MOTHER of course threw a temper tantrum and started a huge fight saying she refused. She of course like always brainwashed and manipulated my fiancé into changing his mind. Now they’re both against me. Am I wrong for just wanting this moment intimate?
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10points
#10 Over Wedding Drama
My fiancé and I were originally planning our wedding for August of 2026, his mom offered to pay a good chunk of it. However, that made her believe that gave her control of the entire thing. She said we weren’t allowed to have the photographer we wanted because she wanted her friend to photograph the wedding, made us change the room we picked at the venue, and just refused to let us plan our own wedding. So, we decided to just cancel it and do something we could pay for ourselves.
So, our new plan is to get have a small ceremony this May and have our reception next year, after we’ve saved up the money. We want just parents and grandparents, and my aunt that helped raise me at the ceremony, as we want a private and intimate ceremony. She is now saying if my aunt is there, we HAVE to have her sisters there. Which, will make the ceremony bigger than we want. My aunt will be there because she helped with raising me.
She has, without our knowledge, told her sisters that I don’t want them at the ceremony and that i’m making my fiancé not invite them.
She has made the wedding just, a nightmare. We have confronted her, but she will try to make it seem like we are the ones in the wrong.
So, our new plan is to get have a small ceremony this May and have our reception next year, after we’ve saved up the money. We want just parents and grandparents, and my aunt that helped raise me at the ceremony, as we want a private and intimate ceremony. She is now saying if my aunt is there, we HAVE to have her sisters there. Which, will make the ceremony bigger than we want. My aunt will be there because she helped with raising me.
She has, without our knowledge, told her sisters that I don’t want them at the ceremony and that i’m making my fiancé not invite them.
She has made the wedding just, a nightmare. We have confronted her, but she will try to make it seem like we are the ones in the wrong.
10points
Most mother-in-law drama stems from a sudden fear of being left out. As their child starts a new life, some mothers struggle with no longer being the center of attention. It can often turn their well-meaning advice into micromanagement.
This power struggle usually kicks off during wedding planning. And it’s rarely about the flowers or the cake — it’s about trying to regain control.
“Understand that a lot of the tension arises from anxiety that they are going to be eased out of one another’s lives or that one is going to lose power,” says psychologist Terri Apter.
#11 She Thinks The Wedding Was A Reset Button (Barely Used) - Venting And Advice
So my Mil is Barely Used. She thinks in old school ways of matriarchal rule, but that's not how I grew up nor will I raise my children to do.
Its been a while since I've posted. Well I didn't talk to Mil for a year again after she was upset of myself and now husbands engagement. I was civil with her and was polite six months and on before the wedding. MIL obsessed about herself and how she looked,complained of money they spent (they didnt pay a dime towards the wedding besides BILs suit) not once asking what my dress looked like, or any details unless it involved them.
The week before the wedding MIL threatened to not come because husband did not want to do a mother son dance. (She knew this for a year) His family tried to say it would look bad and make him look bad for not doing it. He stood his ground and said it was his wedding and he didn't have a good relationship with her so it would be fake anyway.
I called MIL out when she told me she would still come after hanging up the phone on husband. Unfortunately she never apologized, I realize now I should have stated if she did want to come she had to... I know should a, would a, could a.
The day before wedding MIL had a fit because her own husband had to walk her down the aisle instead of her youngest son. Too bad, our wedding hes a groomsmen anyway wont work.
Well since the wedding, MIL thinks we hit the reset button. Every text I get has "our new daughter" in it somewhere. It makes me feel awkward and I know she is trying to guilt me. Ive been with husband for 9 years total, only been married for two months now!! So it's not like she is trying to get to know me.
MILs recent voicemail, she said this is "your other mother", besides only thinking about Coraline, it makes me want to cringe. Especially since to me, maybe not to her, it sounds like shes trying to compare or be like my own mother. Which will never happen because of mine and MILs history.
How do I tell her not to say that again, my own mother has stage four cancer. Shes doing well right now, but in time, hopefully years and years from now the cancer will eventually win. But it makes me angry to hear MIL call herself my mother, other mother, or anything like that because shes never acted like one and will never be that figure to me due to our past.
Plus MIL is thinking we will all have dinners again and talk like we did, including husband, and be the happy family we once were. We were never a happy family on that side of the relationship. She even said at the wedding "we can all be a happy normal family again" like the wedding erased everything shes ever said or done.
Just wanted to vent and know this has always been a safe place to do so. Thank you to everyone and I hope your Thanksgiving weren't completely ruined by a justno.
Its been a while since I've posted. Well I didn't talk to Mil for a year again after she was upset of myself and now husbands engagement. I was civil with her and was polite six months and on before the wedding. MIL obsessed about herself and how she looked,complained of money they spent (they didnt pay a dime towards the wedding besides BILs suit) not once asking what my dress looked like, or any details unless it involved them.
The week before the wedding MIL threatened to not come because husband did not want to do a mother son dance. (She knew this for a year) His family tried to say it would look bad and make him look bad for not doing it. He stood his ground and said it was his wedding and he didn't have a good relationship with her so it would be fake anyway.
I called MIL out when she told me she would still come after hanging up the phone on husband. Unfortunately she never apologized, I realize now I should have stated if she did want to come she had to... I know should a, would a, could a.
The day before wedding MIL had a fit because her own husband had to walk her down the aisle instead of her youngest son. Too bad, our wedding hes a groomsmen anyway wont work.
Well since the wedding, MIL thinks we hit the reset button. Every text I get has "our new daughter" in it somewhere. It makes me feel awkward and I know she is trying to guilt me. Ive been with husband for 9 years total, only been married for two months now!! So it's not like she is trying to get to know me.
MILs recent voicemail, she said this is "your other mother", besides only thinking about Coraline, it makes me want to cringe. Especially since to me, maybe not to her, it sounds like shes trying to compare or be like my own mother. Which will never happen because of mine and MILs history.
How do I tell her not to say that again, my own mother has stage four cancer. Shes doing well right now, but in time, hopefully years and years from now the cancer will eventually win. But it makes me angry to hear MIL call herself my mother, other mother, or anything like that because shes never acted like one and will never be that figure to me due to our past.
Plus MIL is thinking we will all have dinners again and talk like we did, including husband, and be the happy family we once were. We were never a happy family on that side of the relationship. She even said at the wedding "we can all be a happy normal family again" like the wedding erased everything shes ever said or done.
Just wanted to vent and know this has always been a safe place to do so. Thank you to everyone and I hope your Thanksgiving weren't completely ruined by a justno.
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9points
#12 Wanting To Cut Contact With Mil 2 Hours Into My Wedding
I don’t know what I did ever to my mother in law to deserve such poor treatment and disrespect from her but I would like peoples opinions on what happened. I got married one week ago and honestly haven’t spent much time around my future mother in law in the last 6 years I’ve been with her son. She came off somewhat cold to me when I first met her but my then fiancé told me that was her personality. Shes never been downright rude or mean until my wedding day. For starters my mom was walking behind her and my husband as they walked down the aisle and my mom overheard my future MIL tell my husband that it wasn’t too late to run. I didn’t find this out until after the wedding was over but think this is pretty disrespectful given I spent a year and half planning this wedding and we’re very committed to eachother. But the absolute atrocity is when we were cutting cut. My husband and I had an intimate cake cutting session with just maids of honor/best men and parents/grandparents. Our cake cutting was very sweet and intimate with us feeding eachother cake. After we fed eachother cake, I turned around to look at the photographer and it all happened very fast but my MIL grabbed cake (with her bare hands probably I didnt even see) and smashed it into my face and said “you're supposed to do it like this”. I paid a lot for my hair and makeup and honestly hate cake smashing in general (I didn’t grow up in a cake face smashing family).
I freaked out and my photographer told me she had never seen anything like this happen before. I will say my reaction didn’t hide my feelings/anger. The next day I got a somewhat half apology, but I think it’s because of my reaction. A day later she posted a TikTok with around 10 pictures from our wedding with no pictures including me at all. You might ask what my husband thinks of all of this, well I told him the night it happened that I wanted an apology and I technically did get one for the cake thing so that’s settled in his eyes. He’s a no confrontational person and doesn’t like drama so he pretty much stays out of everything/has no comment. I guess I would like to know what y’all would do in this situation. At this point I never want to see/speak to the woman again, so am I being too harsh?
I freaked out and my photographer told me she had never seen anything like this happen before. I will say my reaction didn’t hide my feelings/anger. The next day I got a somewhat half apology, but I think it’s because of my reaction. A day later she posted a TikTok with around 10 pictures from our wedding with no pictures including me at all. You might ask what my husband thinks of all of this, well I told him the night it happened that I wanted an apology and I technically did get one for the cake thing so that’s settled in his eyes. He’s a no confrontational person and doesn’t like drama so he pretty much stays out of everything/has no comment. I guess I would like to know what y’all would do in this situation. At this point I never want to see/speak to the woman again, so am I being too harsh?
9points
#13 My MIL Wanted To Do A Vow Renewal At Our Wedding
Title says it all my husband is the oldest and was the first sibling to get married. Every time our anniversary nears I remember during the wedding planning my MIL came up to me and asked me to ask the preacher if he could do a vow renewal ceremony after or during the wedding. When I said it wasn't a good idea she suggest my dad and step mom renew their vows as well so it would be fair. I simply ignored the request and eventually my MIL dropped it but kept talking about doing a separate vow renewal ceremony after we got married. That ceremony never happened. I even asked my SIL if my MIL requested the same thing when she got married last summer and she looked at me like I had two heads.
I'm sure MIL got excited about wedding and she felt somewhat let down about her wedding since it was hurried along (technically my husband was at his parents wedding but not in any photographs) but I'm still baffled that she would even request that from me. I'm wondering if this is a common request. I know the story isn't as crazy as other MILs during weddings I've heard stories of other MILs wearing wedding dresses or white. I'm just glad my husband isn't her favorite child because she pretty much just ignores us these days.
I'm sure MIL got excited about wedding and she felt somewhat let down about her wedding since it was hurried along (technically my husband was at his parents wedding but not in any photographs) but I'm still baffled that she would even request that from me. I'm wondering if this is a common request. I know the story isn't as crazy as other MILs during weddings I've heard stories of other MILs wearing wedding dresses or white. I'm just glad my husband isn't her favorite child because she pretty much just ignores us these days.
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9points
Science also shows that the struggle with in-laws is very real. A 2022 study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science found that both men and women clash more with their mothers-in-law (44%) than with their own mothers (39%).
Most of these fights boil down to two topics: money and how to raise kids. “These issues are central to a successful marriage as they are both central to long-term reproductive success as resources and the time and effort spent on kin care are finite,” the study notes.
This friction happens because of a concept called genetic conflict. Deep down, humans are wired to protect and favor their own biological family. Because time, energy, and money are limited, people naturally want those resources to go toward their own bloodline.
When you marry someone, your family and your spouse’s family are suddenly forced to share those finite resources. This turns everyday disagreements into a tug-of-war.
#14 3 Days Before Wedding And My So Had An Accident. And This Happened
It's been long enough that I feel ok to tell this story. My husband and I were married in 2014. When we got married, we were living in my MIL's house with me paying all the bills. My husband was in full time school at the time with a part time job.
Cut to 3 days before the wedding. I am at work and I get a call from my then fiancé telling me that he had been in an accident and he was in the hospital. I rushed over there by bus because I couldn't drive because of a neurological disorder.
I arrived at the emergency room and my fiancé was still on a backboard with a neck brace. He started apologizing profusely to me. I told him that the important thing was that he was ok. And then....my MIL arrived.
She burst through the door and proceeded to ask about the car, the insurance, nothing but money. I told him that we could postpone the wedding. All that was important was his health. She was furious at me for even bringing up the wedding.
We returned home and she proceeded to scream at both of us for the rest of the night, suggesting that we weren't even ready to get married because we didn't have any money. I had a full time job with health insurance and my fiancé was the only other person bringing money into the home.
Long story short, we got married 3 days later because my husband said that he couldn't stand not to be married to me any longer.
Cut to 3 days before the wedding. I am at work and I get a call from my then fiancé telling me that he had been in an accident and he was in the hospital. I rushed over there by bus because I couldn't drive because of a neurological disorder.
I arrived at the emergency room and my fiancé was still on a backboard with a neck brace. He started apologizing profusely to me. I told him that the important thing was that he was ok. And then....my MIL arrived.
She burst through the door and proceeded to ask about the car, the insurance, nothing but money. I told him that we could postpone the wedding. All that was important was his health. She was furious at me for even bringing up the wedding.
We returned home and she proceeded to scream at both of us for the rest of the night, suggesting that we weren't even ready to get married because we didn't have any money. I had a full time job with health insurance and my fiancé was the only other person bringing money into the home.
Long story short, we got married 3 days later because my husband said that he couldn't stand not to be married to me any longer.
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8points
#15 Future MIL Came To My House To Try To Convince Us To Change The Wedding Date Again
My FH proposed to me back in 2020 and ever since the start, his mom has said he's done everything wrong by not asking her for permission before proposing to me. She thinks she has the right to decide when he can get married even though we're both 24 already. She still thinks we are too young and unprepared. She has constantly argued with my FH trying to convince him to ask me to cancel the wedding. We were planning to get married this year in April, to which she requested we postponed the date until later on because we weren't ready. Well, we did end up postponing it, not because she said so, but only so we could have more money saved. Our wedding is now in November but with a ceremony only and no reception due to these family conflicts. We also decided we just wanted to keep things simple and are content with that.
She came to my house today to speak with myself, FH, and my parents. She explained how she is hurt about how everything has gone and that we are not ready and shouldn't get married until another 2 years. Her excuses were she's worried we'll suffer financially, so I explained how we both make enough to rent an apartment and live comfortably. The next excuse was she doesn't think my FH is responsible for not always cleaning his room. None of us are perfect. I don't sometimes too but we are not lazy or dirty people. He is a hard worker and not irresponsible at all. The whole time, she just kept explaining how she felt and how she wanted everything to be..
"I am so hurt by all this. I want you guys to understand how upset I feel that you guys did everything wrong."
"I want you guys to wait to have a nice, big wedding that we can all plan together. I don't like the venue you guys have picked out."
"I want you guys to wait 2 years so you can both be more prepared."
"I want to help pick your dress with you, your tablecloths, etc."
I want this, I want that. Hello?? WE are the ones getting married, not her. She said this is "good advice" for our own good. But it's not "advice", it's a command. She said she would love to support us but that she only will if we wait the 2 years. She said if we continue the plans for November that she will not even attend and probably not speak to us again either. FH is upset with her unsupportive behavior and says he gets tired of being yelled at every day by her. I am hurt by this all too. She makes everything about herself and tried to guilt-trip FH for "hurting her" in order to have things go her way. My parents explained to her that those are not her choices to make, but she believes it's disrespectful for my FH to go against her and that she "only means well for us" by doing this. I am so tired of it. I can tell the future will be hard for FH and I.
She came to my house today to speak with myself, FH, and my parents. She explained how she is hurt about how everything has gone and that we are not ready and shouldn't get married until another 2 years. Her excuses were she's worried we'll suffer financially, so I explained how we both make enough to rent an apartment and live comfortably. The next excuse was she doesn't think my FH is responsible for not always cleaning his room. None of us are perfect. I don't sometimes too but we are not lazy or dirty people. He is a hard worker and not irresponsible at all. The whole time, she just kept explaining how she felt and how she wanted everything to be..
"I am so hurt by all this. I want you guys to understand how upset I feel that you guys did everything wrong."
"I want you guys to wait to have a nice, big wedding that we can all plan together. I don't like the venue you guys have picked out."
"I want you guys to wait 2 years so you can both be more prepared."
"I want to help pick your dress with you, your tablecloths, etc."
I want this, I want that. Hello?? WE are the ones getting married, not her. She said this is "good advice" for our own good. But it's not "advice", it's a command. She said she would love to support us but that she only will if we wait the 2 years. She said if we continue the plans for November that she will not even attend and probably not speak to us again either. FH is upset with her unsupportive behavior and says he gets tired of being yelled at every day by her. I am hurt by this all too. She makes everything about herself and tried to guilt-trip FH for "hurting her" in order to have things go her way. My parents explained to her that those are not her choices to make, but she believes it's disrespectful for my FH to go against her and that she "only means well for us" by doing this. I am so tired of it. I can tell the future will be hard for FH and I.
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8points
#16 Wedding Day
My just no mom and sister didn't show up to my wedding yesterday. Let me tell you, I had a good 5 minute cuss out (not to them to ever hear but just screaming and throwing words around while my aunts, her sisters, let me get it all out) to them both in the bathroom right before the ceremony. I was so freaking angry. But after that, I didn't even think about it, and the whole night was perfect. Anyway... after demanding to be the moh my sister didn't talk to me since 2019 so no surprise she didn't show. But justnomom doesn't realize I won here. I had my day. The whole family took note she wasn't there. And I have the love and support of every single person in her family, my dad's family, and all my inlaws.
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8points
Studies show that mothers report slightly less friction with their sons-in-law than with their daughters-in-law.
Relationship experts point out that this divide is heavily fueled by traditional female stereotypes and societal expectations.
“The conflict often arises from an assumption that each is criticizing or undermining the other woman. But this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female stereotypes that few of us manage to shake off completely,” Dr Apter writes in her book.
“Both the mother and the wife are struggling to achieve the same position in the family — primary woman. Each tries to establish or protect their status. Each feels threatened by the other.”
#17 Try And Ruin My Wedding Day?
My JNMIL is nuts, actually has a bipolar diagnosis but uses it as an excuse for saying and behaving whatever way she wants. Anyway, on my wedding day she told me that I was taking her son away from her. (Her son and I have been in a relationship for 8 years at this point, and living together for 3 years). I am in no way taking him away from her, I encourage him to visit his parents and to see them more often than he does. Honestly, imagine saying that to someone on their wedding day? What response was she expecting? I am baffled No advice needed, just wanted to vent. Thank you!
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8points
#18 My JNMOM Wants Me To Dress Feminine For My Wedding
So a bit of context: I’m trans ftm and my family is homophobic and transphobic minus like three people.
My fiancé (20M) and I (also 20M) are planning our wedding for next year. We plan on May 28th, but may change it depending on weather, as we want an outdoor wedding.
My narcissistic mother who is very transphobic and homophobic has been openly voicing her opinions on my wedding (as well as my transitioning and a few other things) such as the cake, color scheme, etc
My FMIL is great. We get along perfect and I can’t wait to be a member of his family.
Recently my mothers main thing to nitpick about is what type of dress I’ll be wearing. I said I wasn’t going wear one, and that made her angry. She said that someone has to wear the dress, and it should be me.
I told her no. Since then she has been passively aggressively sending me Pinterest pics of wedding gowns that are white/off white. To note, our color scheme is black and red. She knows this as well.
She is now saying she “will be buying me a wedding dress (how I don’t know as she has no money) and I have to wear it as I’m the bride.”
This is after a major fiasco about me refusing to celebrate my birthday with her side of the family after how my brother and her acted last year. She just randomly contacted me out of nowhere.
I have told my brother (her golden child man baby) to reign her in because I won’t be wearing a dress to appease her transphobia and he told me that “one day in a dress won’t end you and to get over it.” (He’s also transphobic and homophobic)
I am half tempted to cut them both out of the wedding, but I know that will cause hell to break lose as everyone in my family loves my brother for “following his dreams” and “being a strong army soldier” and feeds into my mothers nonsense because “she’s mentally unstable and I need to stop being so hard on her” and “giving in is so much more easier than hearing her complain all the time.”
I don’t know what I should do, as I don’t want her to make a scene at my wedding, but I also don’t want my family not attending because I uninvited them both.
Also, fiancé has told them to stop multiple times as I have autism and they upset me to the point of stimming uncontrollably.
He says he will stand by my decision to cut them out and help me through the backlash from my family, but it’s ultimately my decision.
My fiancé (20M) and I (also 20M) are planning our wedding for next year. We plan on May 28th, but may change it depending on weather, as we want an outdoor wedding.
My narcissistic mother who is very transphobic and homophobic has been openly voicing her opinions on my wedding (as well as my transitioning and a few other things) such as the cake, color scheme, etc
My FMIL is great. We get along perfect and I can’t wait to be a member of his family.
Recently my mothers main thing to nitpick about is what type of dress I’ll be wearing. I said I wasn’t going wear one, and that made her angry. She said that someone has to wear the dress, and it should be me.
I told her no. Since then she has been passively aggressively sending me Pinterest pics of wedding gowns that are white/off white. To note, our color scheme is black and red. She knows this as well.
She is now saying she “will be buying me a wedding dress (how I don’t know as she has no money) and I have to wear it as I’m the bride.”
This is after a major fiasco about me refusing to celebrate my birthday with her side of the family after how my brother and her acted last year. She just randomly contacted me out of nowhere.
I have told my brother (her golden child man baby) to reign her in because I won’t be wearing a dress to appease her transphobia and he told me that “one day in a dress won’t end you and to get over it.” (He’s also transphobic and homophobic)
I am half tempted to cut them both out of the wedding, but I know that will cause hell to break lose as everyone in my family loves my brother for “following his dreams” and “being a strong army soldier” and feeds into my mothers nonsense because “she’s mentally unstable and I need to stop being so hard on her” and “giving in is so much more easier than hearing her complain all the time.”
I don’t know what I should do, as I don’t want her to make a scene at my wedding, but I also don’t want my family not attending because I uninvited them both.
Also, fiancé has told them to stop multiple times as I have autism and they upset me to the point of stimming uncontrollably.
He says he will stand by my decision to cut them out and help me through the backlash from my family, but it’s ultimately my decision.
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7points
Though cultural stereotypes and deep-seated psychological triggers frequently take the blame, the real catalyst for tension is often the adult child caught in the crossfire.
A study published in the International Journal of Health Sciences found that the partner is a contextual factor in whether conflicts escalate or stay manageable.
The adult child often ends up in a loyalty bind. If they avoid confronting their parent or fail to support their partner’s perspective, it can make the situation worse for the couple.
When they act as mediators, set boundaries, and support healthy communication, conflict tends to be less intense.
#19 She’s Invited 15 Additional People To Our 10-15 People Max Wedding After We Said No!
She says she’s not going unless the WHOLE family comes to our 10-15 people wedding. Even demanded that we uninvite our friends to it in favor of HER guests. So, fiancé & I decided she is not coming. Problem solved. He told her to apologize to me for inviting people we didn’t want and she said no. So, she’s not coming and the wedding is going to be drama free. We’re also going to figure out the privacy settings on the Knot.com so she doesn’t just send people anyway. We are considering security as well. It sounds so dramatic, but she’s off the deep end. I sincerely appreciate you all, and fiancé and I will almost definitely need advice again at some point on here. Whew! I’m treating myself to a new candle today after that LOL
Please help. We just reserved a venue in my home state. We’re now getting texts from his family asking for the address of the reception because his mom already told them ALL the details and invited them when we told her NO. I’m furious. We told her 10-15 people and the guest list was already set, and that we’re doing a second reception n his home state for the extended family who can’t make this one. Our guest list was my parents, 2 of my friends, 3 of his friends, and his mother, and a few more. We’re going to have to cancel the wedding. She’s invited at least 15 people. This is our dream venue and pool party reception that cannot accommodate this many people due to building code and safety. She’s ruined our wedding before it’s even finished being planned. Excuse any typos. I’m shaking and trying not to drive 13 hours to see my family because I don’t want to be around his family right now. He doesn’t know this is happening yet because he’s sleeping and works at 5AM.
Please help. We just reserved a venue in my home state. We’re now getting texts from his family asking for the address of the reception because his mom already told them ALL the details and invited them when we told her NO. I’m furious. We told her 10-15 people and the guest list was already set, and that we’re doing a second reception n his home state for the extended family who can’t make this one. Our guest list was my parents, 2 of my friends, 3 of his friends, and his mother, and a few more. We’re going to have to cancel the wedding. She’s invited at least 15 people. This is our dream venue and pool party reception that cannot accommodate this many people due to building code and safety. She’s ruined our wedding before it’s even finished being planned. Excuse any typos. I’m shaking and trying not to drive 13 hours to see my family because I don’t want to be around his family right now. He doesn’t know this is happening yet because he’s sleeping and works at 5AM.
6points
#20 MIL Blocked FH…our Wedding Is Coming Up
My fiancé and his mom have not spoken for 4 months since her blowup after we got engaged. Feel free to read that saga in my history. Honestly, it’s been amazing. We’ve been happily wedding planning and just enjoying each other without the negativity and dread my MIL brings.
We are planning to send out Save the Dates and invitations soon and received some advice to try to at least notify MIL of our plans before the communications go out in consideration of her status as MOG. She doesn’t know anything about our wedding: that we are having one, when or where it’ll be.
My fiancé has been dreading contacting his mom. For the last few months, he felt the difference of not having her in his life and loved it. So, talking to her and ruining that high has been really hard for him. We want to be able to say that we notified her “before non-family” and “tried inviting her.” Whether or not she decides to attend our wedding is a whole other matter (it would be easier for everyone if she didn’t).
Well…we tried calling her…3x. First time she hung up during the ring…2nd time right after the 1st attempt she let it go to voicemail. My fiancé left her a text that he wanted to tell her about our wedding. A few days later we tried calling a 3rd time…and realized she blocked us.
That’s it. We are still going to send her the Save the Date and invite but she’s basically being written off in our plans now.
We’ve heard that she’s been going around telling anyone who will listen that she “doesn’t have a son anymore” and that she is making moves to remove my fiancé from her will. She has a few joint bank accounts with my fiancé that he wants out of cause he’s been paying taxes on the interest of her funds. He canceled the credit card he gave her. The last thing would be selling the condo he has been paying for her to live in 6month of the year.
I just can’t wait until we are finally separated from her in all ways.
We are planning to send out Save the Dates and invitations soon and received some advice to try to at least notify MIL of our plans before the communications go out in consideration of her status as MOG. She doesn’t know anything about our wedding: that we are having one, when or where it’ll be.
My fiancé has been dreading contacting his mom. For the last few months, he felt the difference of not having her in his life and loved it. So, talking to her and ruining that high has been really hard for him. We want to be able to say that we notified her “before non-family” and “tried inviting her.” Whether or not she decides to attend our wedding is a whole other matter (it would be easier for everyone if she didn’t).
Well…we tried calling her…3x. First time she hung up during the ring…2nd time right after the 1st attempt she let it go to voicemail. My fiancé left her a text that he wanted to tell her about our wedding. A few days later we tried calling a 3rd time…and realized she blocked us.
That’s it. We are still going to send her the Save the Date and invite but she’s basically being written off in our plans now.
We’ve heard that she’s been going around telling anyone who will listen that she “doesn’t have a son anymore” and that she is making moves to remove my fiancé from her will. She has a few joint bank accounts with my fiancé that he wants out of cause he’s been paying taxes on the interest of her funds. He canceled the credit card he gave her. The last thing would be selling the condo he has been paying for her to live in 6month of the year.
I just can’t wait until we are finally separated from her in all ways.
6points