Many people romanticize being in their twenties. Finally, you’re old enough to make decisions for yourself and you’re likely out living on your own, but you’re still young enough to not have too many responsibilities. Lots of us who have plans to get married and have children aren’t quite there yet, so we spend the decade exploring ourselves and doing all of the things we won’t have the chance to do ten years later. Our thirties, however, often get a bad rap. Many people have a crisis around the time of their 30th birthday and dramatize their age, as if they suddenly can’t do anything fun when they’re no longer 29.
Of course, being in our thirties can be absolutely wonderful, and age is but a number. But if you’re among the millennials who realized that suddenly you couldn’t stay up past 11pm anymore and back pain has become a regular occurrence, Thirty Something Probs is the perfect place for you. You’re definitely not old yet, but you’re not quite as young as you used to be…
Millennials certainly have not had it easy when it comes to the state of the economy and the pressure from older generations who don’t understand how times have changed. They’ve been berated for buying brunch and judged for not being able to afford homes far too many times. In fact, The Washington Post has even deemed them the “unluckiest generation in US history,” as they were never able to recover from the Great Recession before the pandemic hit the world harder than anyone could have ever imagined. So if you’re part of this generation that’s been beaten down time and time again, please understand that it’s not your fault. And if looking at funny memes helps soften the blow, be our guest!
“If people enter the labor force during a recession, and they get into lower-paying jobs, that carries forward for much of their lifelong working careers,” Ana Kent, a policy analyst at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, told The Washington Post. “That’s going to have impacts on not only their income but their wealth and also their ability to save for a down payment and their ability to meet other lifetime goals.” Millennials are also getting married later and having children later than previous generations, due to the fact that they haven’t had the opportunity to save up financially. And contrary to what Boomers may believe, millennials do tend to spend within their means (something else they’re often criticized for: not contributing enough to the economy).
As much as we can joke about the struggles of being a thirty-something, it’s important to note that being in your thirties can actually be the best time of your life. In fact, Anna Brech wrote a piece for Flash Pack breaking down the best parts of your fourth decade of life, noting that this is the time where most people start to finally “hit their stride” financially. Yes, you probably still have student loans, and you might not own a house yet. But you probably also have a steady, stable income that allows you to pay rent every month without wondering how you’ll afford groceries. Even if your desk job bores you to no end, it likely pays pretty well.
Brech goes on to note that most of us stop caring so much in our thirties. “Not invited to a pal’s wedding? Shrug and move on. Can’t recall the details of a raucous night out? Hey, we’ve all been there,” she writes. “Life’s too short for beer fear, anyway. All that wondering and worrying about what people think – and who said what when – loses its edge in your 30s. You come to understand that people’s reactions and responses are rarely to do with you and almost always down to whatever is going on in their own lives.”
According to Brech, many of us develop a new sense of resilience by the time we make it to our thirties as well. Our twenties are often filled with challenges that we have to face for the first time, but once we make it out of that decade, we’ve become pros at adulting. We know how to handle our next breakup, the next time a friendship ends, our next move and our next career change because we’ve finally been through it all before. “However bad these events feel at the time, deep down you know you can handle it,” Brech writes. “And you also become more adept at brushing off the smaller set-backs. Rather than questioning your self-worth, you merely accept that these things happen and move on.”
“Perhaps the very best thing about hitting your 30s is the ability to know yourself inside out,” Brech goes on to note. “The third decade of life brings a degree of self-awareness and understanding that is difficult to capture in previous years. Armed with a deeper knowledge of who you are and what you like, you start interrogating the choices you never even thought to question before.”
