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Thanksgiving is, first and foremost, a family holiday, and the festive table should unite family members of different generations, not serve as a source of endless resentment, quarrels, and feuds. Unfortunately, some people don't realize this even well into adulthood.
Today, we offer you to read a story from the user u/Still-Rip9704, whose mother-in-law, even after many years of marriage, hasn't stopped trying to drive a wedge between her daughter-in-law and son. And she found nothing better to do than use the family gathering at Thanksgiving.
More info: Reddit
Thanksgiving is a warm family holiday by default - but some people, alas, consider it a perfect time to prolong a feud
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post says that they don't usually invite her MIL to family holiday because of her toxicity, but this time she showed up
Image credits: Still-Rip9704
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author and her husband have a family rule - kids should be served first - but the MIL attempted to break this rule once more
Image credits: Still-Rip9704
Image credits: Aminaashfaq / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After getting called out, the MIL took offense at the author and then demanded apologies from her in a call with her son
Image credits: Still-Rip9704
The author overheard the conversation and claimed she doesn't feel guilty, but now the spouse is giving her a cold shoulder
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that in recent years, they haven't invited her mother-in-law to family celebrations like Thanksgiving. For one thing, she usually disregards the rules established in their home - children are served first. And, besides, this woman is pretty toxic overall.
This time, a large group gathered at the author's house for Thanksgiving - all of her relatives were there - and suddenly, the MIL showed up too. No, of course, no one kicked her out, but when our heroine called the kids to the table as usual, the first one to jump up from the couch was her husband's mom.
The author feigned surprise and asked the mother-in-law if she considered herself one of the children. The lady blushed, but then calmed down and sat back down on the couch. However, when it was the adults' turn, she first pointedly refused to eat, and then tried to grab some leftovers for her boyfriend staying at home.
To this, the OP replied that they can treat the MIL, but she didn't expect to feed some unknown dude. Well, a couple of days later, the lady called her son to demand an apology from his wife. She was on speaker, so the author heard it and loudly declared that she didn't consider herself at fault. However, now the husband is giving her the cold shoulder, so the wife decided to seek support online.
Image credits: Ambreen / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, there are no specific traditions regarding who should be served first at Thanksgiving or other family gatherings. However, some sources claim that elderly people, who are often the main breadwinners of the family, should be served first. At the same time, each family sets its own rules.
In any case, rushing to eat first - especially when others are being called to the table - seems quite inappropriate. "It is polite to wait until everyone is seated to begin eating. Whether it's a casual meal or a formal feast, it is nice to wait until everyone is served or has had a chance to get food,” this dedicated article at KeaBabies claims as a number one table rule.
By the way, the advice we quoted above is aimed at kids, and it is assumed that adults will, by default, abide by the rules of the host household. And certainly not badmouth them from behind their backs, trying to turn the husband against the wife (and the mother-in-law partially succeeded, judging by the author's own words).
People in the comments also agreed that the OP was, of course, right in the situation described, and that her spouse should’ve taken his wife's side and stopped his mom’s attempts to drive a wedge between them. "Make it clear to him that he either backs you up, or he can sort his own meals," one of the responders urged the woman. So what's your opinion on this case?
Most commenters backed the author up and said that this is actually the same thing that her husband should've done too
