Will we ever get bored with The Office? No! Will there ever be too many articles about it? Probably not! And let's not forget the countless The Office memes that keep the show's humor alive.
Have we ever dedicated a post solely to Michael Scott’s quotes? Not yet, but we are about to fix that blunder with this collection of his most ingenious quotes! All one hundred and thirty-three of them to make you relive perhaps the best moments of the series.
So, what do we know about Michael Gary Scott? Born in 1965, he’s about to turn fifty-seven this year on March 15th (mark it on your calendar!). So, just a couple of years younger than the legendary comedian who portrayed him in the series, Steve Carell.
We also know that Gary had a pretty lonely childhood and never attended college, having lost all his tuition money in a pyramid scheme. Also, all he ever wanted was friends, and that’s why he chose the life of a salesman, ultimately landing a job as the Scranton branch manager at Dunder Mifflin.
And, you definitely know the rest - he’s the most unorthodox boss with the weirdest sense of humor and a very inappropriate understanding of social norms. So, basically, one of the most fantastic comedy characters ever created.
Okay, but let’s go back to Michael Scott’s quotes - from ‘How the turntables’ to various threats to Toby; you will definitely find all of his brilliant thoughts here. Some of these quotes you might know by heart, while other wise words of Michael’s might’ve gone under your radar before. But, no worries, as this is precisely the purpose of this article - to give you a chance to memorize all of Michael’s funny quotes!
So, put on your ‘fun jeans,’ scroll down just one Angela, and check out the hilarious quotes for yourself! Vote for the best quotes that are the epitome of Michael Scott to you, and don’t forget to share this cheerful article with your office coworkers!
#1 Classic comeback, never gets old
“That’s what she said.”
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#2 Waiting for my invite to the secret club
“I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday.”
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#3 When “Best Friends” Test Your Patience
“I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends – I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments. And that’s when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.“
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#4 Fear me, but love me harder
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
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#5 Plot twist vibes
“Well, well, well, how the turntables.”
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#6 Secrets Nobody Should Hear
“No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.”
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#7 Small Pond Flex, Big Pond Woes
“So Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas back here in Scranton I am still top dog, in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish?“
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#8 Geography Just Changed
“It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore.”
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#9 Low-Key Believing, High-Key Laughing
“I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.”
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#10 Grammar Police Alert
“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.”
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#11 Praise me harder
“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.“
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#12 Guess who just fell for a royal plot twist
"When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country! Ok?"- When Michael fell for one of the oldest scams around and wasn't aware of it.
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#13 That’s one way to *forge* love
"Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch."- Michael screwed up his definitions at Phyllis's wedding.
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#14 This Can\'t End Well
“Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.”
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#15 Breakfast Hacks I Wish I Thought Of
“I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon.”
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#16 Concussions Don’t Get Shotgun Passes
“The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout ‘shotgun’ when you’re within sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.”
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#17 Brain on a caffeine binge
“My mind is going a mile an hour.”
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#18 When CPR Gets Too Real
“No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs… Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?”- Michael talking about a CPR dummy.
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#19 Future fantasy CEO, clearly
“When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five years old. Couldn’t even talk yet.”
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#20 Heroism Is Self-Care
“I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero?… I really can’t say, but yes!”
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