"I Fear It's Over": 58 Messy Secrets People Could Never Reveal To Their Closest Friends

I put on a mask everyday, pretend I'm happy as I go day to day wondering why I'm still going. I'm in highschool right now, going into my senior year, and I should be excited for college right? No, I just want everything to stop. Who cares that my CGPA is 97 when I can't see why I should wake up tomorrow? I've been to therapists and counselors, but nothing helps because apparently I'm "not in a depressed life state" so I can be put on medications.

I am about to go over the edge. my wife does freelance her whole career and got used to a strong and steady cash flow. when we got married she badgered me into putting a downpayment and paying for a house we cant afford, and i stated explicitly that if i get into loans to pay for the downpayment, it’s a bad financial decision that might kick us in the back. i asked to look for a cheaper house instead. or at least stay renting while we are saving. but no, she still got the house that she wanted that i should pay for. i pleaded with her that i wont be able to afford it… but no, she insisted that we can because she has established clients and she expects more on the way. so she can help me paying for the house.

stupid me believed that. she’s my wife, after all.

2 years later, i am so deep under that we will be losing the house, the car, and my salary barely covers all the loans i have to keep food on the table. and all because the money she expects to make isnt coming any more. and i am working very hard to keep the house, but now i am at my limit. i went from living comfortably 2 years ago to being so deep in debt now.

and it’s still my fault because she said i am supposed to be the provider.

and now i am staring at a possible eviction in a month or so with no cash to pay a deposit on a rental. and i cant vent out to my wife because i am the “provider”.

I can't have kids and my husband doesn't want to adopt or foster or anything like that. He wants to move on with a childless life. I now feel like I have no purpose in life. I don't want to be the "career woman". I work for a living... I don't live to work. I've sort of dived into taking care of stray cats, but I don't feel like that's satisfying enough for me. I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. What will the next 30 years of my life look like? Working aimlessly, occasionally traveling, maybe retiring somewhat early if I can afford it... big whoop. I've debated divorcing my husband and fostering on my own, but I don't think I have it in me anymore. Plus I can't afford to live alone in this economy.

God am I so unhappy with my college major at the moment but I can't transfer nor shift out bc of a certain agreement I have to fulfill. I feel frozen to make a decision bc I know that any sudden, different move I make can cost me and my family thousands of money we don't have. I can't even tell them the immense pressure that I am under bc I'm sort of the "don't worry about her" child whom everyone relies on. I feel pressure from myself, mostly, but also a lot from my family, even if mostly unspoken.

Changing my last name (getting married soon) gives me anxiety. Im the last one, no sons in the family so the last name disappears when i get married. I know i dont *have to*, but i feel like i should.. but it feels like im losing part of myself. Kind of could be a “fresh start” but i like my name, i dont want to be called something else 🥲

Eta- if i keep mine, idk how we would do the last name of future kids.. idk why this feels so overwhelming to me but it does🥲.

I'm transgender. 6 months on hormone therapy, still living with my family, still not out to anyone of them. I'm happy to be who I am in my own time, but I'm not at all close with them and could not deal with the hassle that coming out to them will be. It's genuinely just preferable to wear a binder, boymode, etc, the every other day that I interact with them. Those Im close with are shocked Im not out yet to them given how I am in public when with others, but the effort it takes to hide it all is just, easier to me than the mental strain of having to expose something so personal about myself to my family.

I'm 8 months pregnant and just broke up with my partner. I'll be moving out soon into my own apartment. We were together 4 years...
The worse part is, he's such a great guy and everyone loves him and I together. He will be a great father but he's neglectful as a partner and has poor boundaries with other women.
Baby shower is in a couple of weeks and everyone is so excited for us. And I don't know how to tell my family. I'm just done.

My wife and I recently separated. We have two young kids. We've remained on good terms as we still get along and enjoy each other's company and family time with the kids. What I haven't told people is that the reason we separated was that she had a long-distance affair, convinced me to give polyamory a go, and then three months later decided that no that wasn't what she wanted and she wanted to separate instead and commit to her affair partner. I then spent about six more months trying to fight all of this before accepting reality.

Now she's in a relationship with the long-distance affair partner. He came to visit last month but no one except myself knows (I had to know for co-parenting logistics) as she wants to avoid scandal and to ensure that it looks like there's adequate distance between the separation and the new relationship. I've talked about it with my therapist and close friends from way back who live in a completely different city but that's it.

I think I'm over all the initial pain now, though that's not to say there aren't days when sadness and grief hits. I spent so long reeling from the initial discovery, trying to adapt to the situation, and then fighting a losing battle that much of the initial grief and pain is gone, and I'm just trying to focus on what's good in my life — kids, my friends, hobbies I enjoy. I even met the new partner for a beer when he was in town, and we got on well...

I got a wheelchair prescribed at the hospital. I already used the prescription. Just waiting for insurance to approve and the manufacturer to deliver. I can walk some at home at least, so told nobody.

I've had hallucinations of seeing a double of myself, and I've started having much worse anxiety and panic attacks.

I have a trusted group of friends that I'll be talking to about this later this week. I hope they can help me figure out if this is Charles bonnet syndrome hallucination, or if this is something more serious.

I bought a house that needs work but it’s too much for me. Even if I had the money needed for all the work I work out of the house full time and can’t get enough time off to get quotes and be around when work is being done. The only good thing is I have around 600k in the house. Sounds like lots of money but it won’t buy you much in Australia.

My dog is 9. Once he’s going I fantasise about moving to Melbourne and buying a fairly new apartment and using any leftover money to travel.

I neglected to tell my new psychiatrist about my eating disorder history so she would prescribe me not one but two medications (including one that will literally make me dumber) with weight loss as a common side effect because my life has felt so out of control and uncomfortable I have purposely chosen to have a little relapse as a treat.

I'm so incredibly bored with life. I'm married, she has a kid from first marriage. I have two careers. I am just so incredibly bored by everything. I feel like sometimes I have nothing to look forward to at all. I'll book a vacation a year in advance because I'll count down the days to that, but it's not very much. My main career is super, incredibly boring and my second makes almost no money.

I’m writing a book. It’s semi public (I posted stuff about it like 3 times on my 99 sub YT channel), but only my grandma has actually read it. I’m scared to show my dad because I’m already 17 chapters and 36,000 words deep, and the main character is in a gay relationship with one of the monsters (it’s a long story but it is explained). He screamed at me for being pan for an hour the last time he heard about LGTBQ+, I’m scared as to what his reaction will be to my book. My grandma isn’t an ally to LGTBQ+ but she respects them because I am and my friends are.

My sister in law sold her mom's wedding ring after coming across money then blowing it all. .

Pretty sure my FWB (who lives accross the country) had a failed vasectomy and I got pregnant.

I‘m still not over my wife cheating on me. I‘m here playing along on a surface level to keep the divorce away from the kids, but my plan is to keep going until they are into adulthood and can take care of themselves. If I can even last that long. .

My anxiety is peaking bc a guy broke my heart.