I Fear It's Over: 59 Messy Secrets People Could Never Tell Anyone

Most people have a secret or two; some you can share with your friends over a glass of wine, others you might have to confess in much more dramatic circumstances. And then there are secrets that you can only take to the grave: something so shameful and dire that no one else but the four walls of your bedroom and your personal journal are allowed to know.

Online, no one knows who you are, so your confessions are completely anonymous. It sometimes feels good to get things off your chest, and the Internet can be the place for some folks to do exactly that. These juicy secrets come to you from a recent online thread where one netizen asked, “What is a secret you’re currently keeping from everyone in your life because it’s just too messy?

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That my wife and I have just opened our relationship.

After two kids we've had eight years without any intimacy. A week ago she asked me to leave her, because she cannot give me what I need. I held her and told her that I would rather live a life without any intimacy than a life without her. I told her that I liberate her from any duty and pressure. I told her that she does not have worry about that any more - that she is free from that, but that I will always love and never leave her.

Then she told me that I am allowed to go out and find what I need.

For the first time in years we held each other like a loving couple.

But hmm... Now I am allowed to... whatever. But, how? Will I ever? Not sure.

No matter what. It feels good and she is happy as well.

I have a certain amount of resentment in my heart towards my parents who never made financial plans for old age leaving my 2 siblings and I financially responsible for them. I have made so much debt just to keep head above water. I havent know how it feels to have a month without worrying about momey because I give 25% of my salary to them. Sometimes I have to take loans just to afford medicine for myself.

I wish I could have a child but I never got married and I cannot even afford to feed myself let alone another mouth. This gift has been taken away from me due to my financial burden.

Please don't do this to your kids.

I'm really sad, so very very sad. I'm tired all the time. I found out my mum has lung cancer yesterday and I had 10 minutes to sort myself before picking my toddler up from nursery and put on a big smile for the rest of the day until everyone goes to sleep and I can just cry alone. That was just the icing on the cake of my sadness. I don't think it'll ever get better. .

If I get pregnant again, I’m most likely getting an abortion. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and lost a newborn, 4 of those 5 pregnancies were with fertility treatments (2 rounds of IUI and 2 of IVF). At this point I feel like I know the story ends and I don’t want to go through the hope, anxiety, despair, and grief again. An abortion would give me more control over my body and the outcome.

And yes, I am on birth control and my husband usually wears protection so the chance of it actually happening is very low.

I’m pregnant and aborting it even thought I’m in a long term relationship, we just can’t afford it and I know if I tell him it will devastate him.

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and we haven't told our families yet. We live overseas and away from them. Initially the plan was to tell them after the first trimester but now I'm putting it off till a month away from my due date. In our culture family members are expected to have no boundaries.

I'm afraid if I tell them now, I'll be bombarded with unnecessary advice and unhelpful ideas. I can get easily anxious around them. I also don't want them to spend a lot on the upcoming baby, especially my side of the family who has a tendency to splurge on gifts and then hold unrealistic expectations and resort to emotional blackmail.

My partner and I are setting up a small support system in our city and I basically want a peaceful birth experience and good initial bonding with the baby.

That I won’t do chemo again.

Most of my friends have no idea that i’m wasting away from diabetes. They just ask why i don’t go out anymore.

My fiance got made redundant and I'm terrified.

Our mortgage and bills are well over half our current monthly takehome and it took him 10 months to find his current job (old job was underpaying him). His redundancy p****** means he has about a month and a half before he stops getting paid.

I know that's time. I know there's part time jobs he can pick up but it'll be so much harder on him when he's already depressed about his father passing away and that his friends stopped talking to him. I'm trying to be supportive but I'm so scared it'll end with me being the breadwinner, having side hustles and also doing all the house work cos he's too depressed about everything that's happened and him not being able to find a job.

So much of this night not happen but if it does I'll have to choose to love him and actively choose to stay.

Not really a secret but i feel so far behind in my life and like a genuine failure as a woman everyday. both my best friends are either pregnant/married/engaged while i’ve been in a very long term relationship with it’s ups and downs. i’ve stopped reaching out to initiate plans because i don’t want to feel worse about myself around them. ive retreated completely into myself and don’t know when or if ill come back.

Everyone tells me I'm crazy so I don't speak anymore now I hear "why don't you talk/call/text" because y'all call me crazy and I'm not dealing with it. It's easier to not talk than it is talking. It's the only thing keeping me alive.

I’m feeling resentful about my bf being unable to find a job since March. It’s not his fault, he’s applying. He’s just another poor individual who’s stuck in this bad job market. I make ok money but the prices of everything is making me explode. My stupid parents are so disconnected with reality saying “just find a new job”. I told them he can’t find one bc of this dumb administration. Asked them if their rich boomer friends had any openings at their companies. Crickets. Closer to going no contact with those traitors than anything.

I am unemployed and feel absolutely embarassed and ashamed of myself. Just got rejected again from a place I interviewed with and am also pursuing a creative hobby that is bringing no money in but is elevating me as a person. My parents are very worried and ashamed of me as well because of this financial instability I have and it is uncomfortable being in an environment like this because I feel like I have no impressive career to show relatives yk.

How I'm drowning with everything happening in my life right now and would have constant thoughts of just leaving.

Went on a stress leave for a few months over the spring, because I was burnt out beyond belief…went back to work recently and was fired the first day back. Didn’t feel comfortable telling my family about the leave, so telling them about being let go just is messy and I have to make a bunch of stuff up.

How truly mentally drained and exhausted I am. I keep going like I'm okay and rarely let the mask slip the tiniest bit but make it seem like thats the worst of it. We are broke [very] and the bills just keep coming i was a sahm but am working now and its still not enough, we have cut out so much from the budget idk what else we could cut. At home there's always something to be done/cleaned and one of us is always sick (2yrold in daycare). Its so stressful I just want to escape it all for a while.

I could be up for bunion surgery soon... But pending an MRI they may need to fuse both the ball of my foot and my ankle because it's so messed up.

I have been banking on bunion surgery to fix my foot and let me exercise to lose weight and help get me back to myself... Now I won't be able to dance and as per the doctor, my 'gait will be... different'.

*Edit: He said my foot was deformed. I mean I know, but yeah.

I am off my medications and haven't had electricity in 2 weeks. I'm struggling really hard and the only person who knows is my boyfriend, who is letting me stay with him. It's embarrassing.

My secret is that i feel mostly nothing emotionally. Im not saying this to be edgy i literally need to see a psychiatrist i feel really hollow inside and whenever i say this to someone they just walk away from my life.

I'm not in love with my partner anymore. Probably never was. We've been together for 13 years.

I put on a mask everyday, pretend I'm happy as I go day to day wondering why I'm still going. I'm in highschool right now, going into my senior year, and I should be excited for college right? No, I just want everything to stop. Who cares that my CGPA is 97 when I can't see why I should wake up tomorrow? I've been to therapists and counselors, but nothing helps because apparently I'm "not in a depressed life state" so I can be put on medications.

I can't have kids and my husband doesn't want to adopt or foster or anything like that. He wants to move on with a childless life. I now feel like I have no purpose in life. I don't want to be the "career woman". I work for a living... I don't live to work. I've sort of dived into taking care of stray cats, but I don't feel like that's satisfying enough for me. I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. What will the next 30 years of my life look like? Working aimlessly, occasionally traveling, maybe retiring somewhat early if I can afford it... big whoop. I've debated divorcing my husband and fostering on my own, but I don't think I have it in me anymore. Plus I can't afford to live alone in this economy.

God am I so unhappy with my college major at the moment but I can't transfer nor shift out bc of a certain agreement I have to fulfill. I feel frozen to make a decision bc I know that any sudden, different move I make can cost me and my family thousands of money we don't have. I can't even tell them the immense pressure that I am under bc I'm sort of the "don't worry about her" child whom everyone relies on. I feel pressure from myself, mostly, but also a lot from my family, even if mostly unspoken.

Changing my last name (getting married soon) gives me anxiety. Im the last one, no sons in the family so the last name disappears when i get married. I know i dont *have to*, but i feel like i should.. but it feels like im losing part of myself. Kind of could be a “fresh start” but i like my name, i dont want to be called something else 🥲

Eta- if i keep mine, idk how we would do the last name of future kids.. idk why this feels so overwhelming to me but it does🥲.

I'm 8 months pregnant and just broke up with my partner. I'll be moving out soon into my own apartment. We were together 4 years...
The worse part is, he's such a great guy and everyone loves him and I together. He will be a great father but he's neglectful as a partner and has poor boundaries with other women.
Baby shower is in a couple of weeks and everyone is so excited for us. And I don't know how to tell my family. I'm just done.

My wife and I recently separated. We have two young kids. We've remained on good terms as we still get along and enjoy each other's company and family time with the kids. What I haven't told people is that the reason we separated was that she had a long-distance affair, convinced me to give polyamory a go, and then three months later decided that no that wasn't what she wanted and she wanted to separate instead and commit to her affair partner. I then spent about six more months trying to fight all of this before accepting reality.

Now she's in a relationship with the long-distance affair partner. He came to visit last month but no one except myself knows (I had to know for co-parenting logistics) as she wants to avoid scandal and to ensure that it looks like there's adequate distance between the separation and the new relationship. I've talked about it with my therapist and close friends from way back who live in a completely different city but that's it.

I think I'm over all the initial pain now, though that's not to say there aren't days when sadness and grief hits. I spent so long reeling from the initial discovery, trying to adapt to the situation, and then fighting a losing battle that much of the initial grief and pain is gone, and I'm just trying to focus on what's good in my life — kids, my friends, hobbies I enjoy. I even met the new partner for a beer when he was in town, and we got on well...

I got a wheelchair prescribed at the hospital. I already used the prescription. Just waiting for insurance to approve and the manufacturer to deliver. I can walk some at home at least, so told nobody.

I've had hallucinations of seeing a double of myself, and I've started having much worse anxiety and panic attacks.

I have a trusted group of friends that I'll be talking to about this later this week. I hope they can help me figure out if this is Charles bonnet syndrome hallucination, or if this is something more serious.

I bought a house that needs work but it’s too much for me. Even if I had the money needed for all the work I work out of the house full time and can’t get enough time off to get quotes and be around when work is being done. The only good thing is I have around 600k in the house. Sounds like lots of money but it won’t buy you much in Australia.

My dog is 9. Once he’s going I fantasise about moving to Melbourne and buying a fairly new apartment and using any leftover money to travel.

I neglected to tell my new psychiatrist about my eating disorder history so she would prescribe me not one but two medications (including one that will literally make me dumber) with weight loss as a common side effect because my life has felt so out of control and uncomfortable I have purposely chosen to have a little relapse as a treat.

I'm so incredibly bored with life. I'm married, she has a kid from first marriage. I have two careers. I am just so incredibly bored by everything. I feel like sometimes I have nothing to look forward to at all. I'll book a vacation a year in advance because I'll count down the days to that, but it's not very much. My main career is super, incredibly boring and my second makes almost no money.

I’m writing a book. It’s semi public (I posted stuff about it like 3 times on my 99 sub YT channel), but only my grandma has actually read it. I’m scared to show my dad because I’m already 17 chapters and 36,000 words deep, and the main character is in a gay relationship with one of the monsters (it’s a long story but it is explained). He screamed at me for being pan for an hour the last time he heard about LGTBQ+, I’m scared as to what his reaction will be to my book. My grandma isn’t an ally to LGTBQ+ but she respects them because I am and my friends are.

My sister in law sold her mom's wedding ring after coming across money then blowing it all. .

Pretty sure my f** (who lives accross the country) had a failed vasectomy and I got pregnant.

I‘m still not over my wife cheating on me. I‘m here playing along on a surface level to keep the divorce away from the kids, but my plan is to keep going until they are into adulthood and can take care of themselves. If I can even last that long. .

My anxiety is peaking bc a guy broke my heart.

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