People Are Sharing What Double Standards Between Men And Women Annoy Them So Much, It's Disgusting (50 Pics)

To learn more about the unequal distribution of housework and other tasks and what can be done to change it, Bored Panda reached out to relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, who gave us some insights on what can be done to share the load. In short, he explained that communication, respect for each other’s choices, and mutual support are key to a healthy relationship. Especially during these difficult times.

“Both a man and a woman should always show gratitude towards each other and from that, you will both feel happier about being loving towards each other because you know the other person appreciates what you are doing,” relationship expert Dan highlighted that thanking someone for taking the initiative with chores, instead of berating them for usually ‘not doing enough,’ yields far better results.

For Dan, it’s important not just what we say in relationships, but how we say it.

Relationship expert Dan gave an example where he heard from a man who was cleaning up the bathroom and found his wife complaining about how he was doing things. This led to an argument and the couple didn’t speak for a couple of days.

“He was very upset that she didn’t appreciate his proactive approach to helping out. All of that stress could have been avoided if she walked in and said something like, ‘Oh, thanks, honey. You’re cleaning the bathroom. That’s one less thing for me to do. Thank you.’ Then, if she wanted him to clean the bathroom the way she normally does it, she could ask, ‘Do you want to know how I get those stains out?’ or, ‘Do you want me to tell you some of the ways I do it that makes it easier?’ and if he then said yes, she could tell him,” Bacon gave some practical examples of effective communication.

“If he said no and ended up causing damage to the bathroom for example (unlikely, of course) or not cleaning it properly, she could then talk to him about it and ask why he thought it turned out that way, after all the good effort he put in. He could then realize his mistake, feel supported by her and decide that he probably should have asked her how to do it first, or continued cleaning until he got it done right.”

According to Dan, by choosing not to attack our partners verbally for their ‘mistakes,’ we avoid making them go on the defensive. This reduces stress, helps maintain the relationship, and, in very practical terms, helps deal with the double standard of how housework is distributed.

“They remain in love. They feel supported, appreciated, respected and there is no need for an angry, resentful war to break out over little mistakes or errors. Of course, approaching conversations like that also applies to a man talking to his girlfriend or wife who is doing something around the house,” the expert pointed out that it goes both ways.

“For example, if his wife is doing more than normal around the house, a man should be supportive of her, appreciative and respectful, rather than just expecting that she should do it because she’s a woman. No one has to do anything in a relationship. It’s always a choice. This is why you should always come from a place of love and support, rather than in an angry, attacking way where you essentially become enemies who are trying to beat each other in a pointless, ‘I’m a better person than you’ war.”

While there are plenty of double standards out there, at least we’re better equipped to deal with one of them—sharing housework and other tasks during the pandemic through small changes in how we communicate and show gratitude.