Dudes Posting Their W’s has gained a massive following of over 1.7 million followers since its creation in January 2021. Their website explains the account by saying it “commemorates ‘Wins’ or ‘Positive’ moments that men have achieved”. “‘Dudes & Dubs’ is for the men who strive for greatness and who want to continuously improve their lives," their site states. In terms of what counts as a “dub”, they list many examples including losing weight, getting fit, beating cancer, overcoming mental health, acts of bravery, accomplishing difficult tasks, befriending animals, saving a person or an animal’s life, fighting off criminals, knowing very specific knowledge, being a good father, being a good husband, brotherhood, overcoming addiction, and helping vulnerable people.
The page also donates 10% of their merchandise proceeds to Missing Kids, a non-profit dedicated to finding missing children, preventing child victimization, and fighting child sexual exploitation.
One great aspect of "Dudes & Dubs" is how it celebrates such a wide range of wins, including accomplishments from men that are still sometimes considered taboo like taking care of their mental health and beating addiction. It’s no secret that men are expected to be less emotional than women, but the fact is that they just aren’t. A recent study from Scientific Reports followed the emotional journeys of 142 men and women over the course of 75 days, and they found that “the male participants’ emotions fluctuated just as much as the women’s did”.
While misconceptions about the emotional fragility of women are often used to portray women as weak, these stereotypes hurt all genders. Women are expected to be unable to handle their emotions, but men are expected to not show any emotions at all. This unrealistic expectation often leads men to bottle up their emotions and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. By encouraging men to openly share how they've overcome battles with mental health issues, body image issues, addiction and more, Dudes Posting Their W's shows other men that being honest and vulnerable is something to celebrate.
Dudes Posting Their W’s also encourages men to be great fathers and husbands. Traditionally, men have always been held to lower standards than women when it comes to domestic responsibilities. Media doesn’t help either, as countless TV shows and movies portray fathers as incompetent counterparts to strict, bossy (but intelligent) mothers. According to a 2021 study from the Pew Research Center, double standards continue to persist when it comes to household responsibilities. 59% of women said that they take care of more of the chores and responsibilities in the home, and 74% of mothers surveyed said that they do more to manage their children’s schedule and activities. Similarly, Pew found in 2019 that mothers do their families' grocery shopping and meal preparation 80% of the time. While cooking dinner is not really an accomplishment a father should be patted on the back for, any encouragement that will lead men to be better husbands and fathers is a win in my book.
It’s also important for men to be encouraged to talk openly about their mental health and substance abuse battles because they are more likely to be silently struggling. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that males misuse drugs at a younger age than women and are more likely to be exposed to drugs and alcohol in their adolescence than girls. And according to a survey of people who had a history of substance abuse in their families, almost twice as many people reported that their fathers struggled with addiction, compared to the amount of people who said their mothers struggled.
These issues often stem from mental health struggles, like depression, and according to Fred Rabinowitz, a professor of psychology at the University of Redlands in California, “Male depression sometimes manifests through the ‘male code’ that says you cannot show weakness, sadness, or vulnerability.” Without feeling like they can open up, some men sadly turn to substance abuse instead. It’s great that Dudes Posting Their W’s encourages men to share their struggles to show that they’re not alone and to hopefully prove to other men struggling that they will be celebrated for taking care of their health.
Friendships between men and women are also a bit different, so sometimes men need to be more intentional about emotionally supporting one another. According to psychologist Tarra Bates-Duford, men “tend to prefer more activity-based friendships” while female friendships “tend to be more dependent on face-to-face contact, are more emotional” and include more sharing of thoughts and feelings and providing emotional support. This does not mean that the bonds between bros can’t be strong, but it does mean they are less likely to be lifting up one another and celebrating their accomplishments. Men might really appreciate a post on Dudes Posting Their W’s every once in a while, if their friends in real life aren’t as likely to openly congratulate and support them.
There are plenty of reasons why we should celebrate our accomplishments, regardless of how big or small they may be. Despite living in a fast-paced age where we’re encouraged to always be in a hurry to get to the next thing, it’s important to give our brains a moment to really appreciate our successes. Having a healthy amount of pride can even be a great way to lead us to more success in the future. As psychologist David DeSteno says in his book Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride, “These feelings—gratitude, compassion, and pride—are easier to generate than the willpower and self-denial that underpin traditional approaches to self-control and grit. And while willpower is quickly depleted, prosocial emotions actually become stronger the more we use them.”
Apparently, most people even want us to share our successes. Now, don’t go too crazy; there’s a fine line between sharing and boasting, of course. But resist the temptation to keep your accomplishments to yourself, for fear of being labeled a braggart. According to studies on the topic, loved ones tend to feel insulted or patronized when people they’re close to keep their successes a secret. Even if you’re scared you might trigger a bit of jealousy, there’s nothing wrong with sharing your achievements so that you, and your loved ones, can celebrate them.
