If you thought women can’t be gross — think again. There’s a certain bias in society where we think men are the messy ones: stereotypes about their untidy rooms, poor hygiene, and lax attitude towards cleanliness pervade our society as much as popular culture.
But research shows that both men and women can be equally as messy. In fact, both genders agree on how urgently an untidy space needs to be cleaned and on their perceptions about how messy a room is. However, women are held to a higher standard of cleanliness — people can generally excuse an untidy man’s house, but a woman is judged for her untidy home.
That doesn’t mean that some ladies don’t treat their homes more like a pigsty than a sanctuary. In a recent online thread, one gentleman asked, “Guys, what's the most ‘nope’ thing you've seen when you went over to a woman's place for the first time?” And, unsurprisingly, fellas had plenty of stories that reeked of red flags.
#1
Didn't quite nope out of this situation, but came close!
This was about 13 years ago, I had just moved to Los Angeles. I had made an online dating profile, and within two days of living out there, began talking to someone. We hit it off pretty quickly, and on our third date, we went to a restaurant near her apartment. She needed to drop by her place real quick to feed her dog, and use the restroom. While she's in the restroom, I'm playing with her dog, and noticing a few DVDs on her coffee table. The top one was a DVD version explaining Dianetics and the church of Scientology.
While I don't consistently practice any type of religion, I had heard enough about scientology to believe it wasn't for me. As I'm sitting there, looking at this DVD case, trying to find out how to extricate myself from the situation, she returns from the restroom. She clocks what I'm looking at and immediately says "Oh.... Don't worry, they were offering free breakfast, so I went for the breakfast, but they gave me this on my way out."
I've been happily married to this woman for the past 11 years.
This was about 13 years ago, I had just moved to Los Angeles. I had made an online dating profile, and within two days of living out there, began talking to someone. We hit it off pretty quickly, and on our third date, we went to a restaurant near her apartment. She needed to drop by her place real quick to feed her dog, and use the restroom. While she's in the restroom, I'm playing with her dog, and noticing a few DVDs on her coffee table. The top one was a DVD version explaining Dianetics and the church of Scientology.
While I don't consistently practice any type of religion, I had heard enough about scientology to believe it wasn't for me. As I'm sitting there, looking at this DVD case, trying to find out how to extricate myself from the situation, she returns from the restroom. She clocks what I'm looking at and immediately says "Oh.... Don't worry, they were offering free breakfast, so I went for the breakfast, but they gave me this on my way out."
I've been happily married to this woman for the past 11 years.
53points
#2
I was sleeping with this girl and it was a pretty spontaneous thing so I didn't know a whole lot about her.
I walk out into the garage and I'm hit with the smell of sulfur, I ask what the smell was and she replied:
"M**h, but don't worry I only smoke it when my husband's on deployment."
Looney Toons style dust trail as I peeled outta there.
I walk out into the garage and I'm hit with the smell of sulfur, I ask what the smell was and she replied:
"M**h, but don't worry I only smoke it when my husband's on deployment."
Looney Toons style dust trail as I peeled outta there.
47points
#3
She didnt pick up her dog’s s**t all over the floor and said she just cleans it all up at the end of the month. It was like navigating through a minefield.
38points
#4
Dishes piled high. Fish tanks almost had no water in it and fish still swimming around.
33points
#5
A large, sealed glass jar containing blood, which when I asked, I was informed it was in fact menstrual blood. It was a **large** jar, I’d wager close to one of the 64 oz ones if I had to guess.
Obviously I asked why she collected it, her answer was ‘blood magic’ that she used for ‘witchcraft’. This was a 22 year old upper middle class white woman from San Diego.
Now, I got no issues with people who like to practice ‘witchcraft’ in the way that is, admittedly, sort of ‘trendy’ these past several years, although I do think the majority of it is new age spirituality hogwash with no actual accurate basis in any spirituality or religion (as is the case with a majority of new age).
I mean, if someone enjoys it and it happens to bring them a sense of fulfillment, go nuts, doesn’t change (in my mind) the fact it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook nothing-burger stew of different cultural beliefs taken from d**d and conquered cultures by bored whities (I say as a whitie myself) trying to feel liberated and edgy.
However a literal jar of festering, rotting, putrifying menstrual blood which had gotten to such a point it was congealing into clumpy syrup and turning black with foam yes literal foam at the top was a bit too much for me.
Obviously I asked why she collected it, her answer was ‘blood magic’ that she used for ‘witchcraft’. This was a 22 year old upper middle class white woman from San Diego.
Now, I got no issues with people who like to practice ‘witchcraft’ in the way that is, admittedly, sort of ‘trendy’ these past several years, although I do think the majority of it is new age spirituality hogwash with no actual accurate basis in any spirituality or religion (as is the case with a majority of new age).
I mean, if someone enjoys it and it happens to bring them a sense of fulfillment, go nuts, doesn’t change (in my mind) the fact it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook nothing-burger stew of different cultural beliefs taken from d**d and conquered cultures by bored whities (I say as a whitie myself) trying to feel liberated and edgy.
However a literal jar of festering, rotting, putrifying menstrual blood which had gotten to such a point it was congealing into clumpy syrup and turning black with foam yes literal foam at the top was a bit too much for me.
31points
#6
She had six air fresheners in a studio apartment. At some point you're not masking a smell anymore, you're hiding a crime scene.
31points
#7
Started chatting someone up on Insta and eventually she invited me over to hang - place was in a terrible neighborhood and I was already getting ready to bail when she stepped out her front door and waved my car into a parking spot. Gave her a hug and she seemed really kind and excited to see me, so I figured I’d run with it. Then walked in to her livingroom which was completely empty except for a stack of wooden pallets and I was positive I was about to d*e.
She walked into her bedroom which was straight through the livingroom, so I could still see her as I slowed my pace in case I was about to be ambushed. Watched her pull her sheets down and pat the bed like she was inviting me to sit…and all the candy wrappers and trash and fast food wrappers that were revealed by the sheet being pulled down hopped around when she patted the mattress. Told her I was super sorry but I’d “made a mistake about being ready to hook up with someone so soon after my last relationship” (I hadn’t dated anyone in years) and high-tailed it back to my car.
She walked into her bedroom which was straight through the livingroom, so I could still see her as I slowed my pace in case I was about to be ambushed. Watched her pull her sheets down and pat the bed like she was inviting me to sit…and all the candy wrappers and trash and fast food wrappers that were revealed by the sheet being pulled down hopped around when she patted the mattress. Told her I was super sorry but I’d “made a mistake about being ready to hook up with someone so soon after my last relationship” (I hadn’t dated anyone in years) and high-tailed it back to my car.
29points
#8
I met a girl at a bar we both went to regularly, when I was out w my friends. We were being playful taking shots, goofing around, taking selfies, getting to know each other, etc. Went home w my friends. Next time I went to said bar, she was there. We chatted, had a nice night, got her number, started texting. We set up a time to meet at the same bar, had some drinks, went back to her place.
She had one of the photos of the two of us printed out on an 8.5x11, framed, hanging on her wall. It was the only thing hung on the wall in her entire apartment.
She had one of the photos of the two of us printed out on an 8.5x11, framed, hanging on her wall. It was the only thing hung on the wall in her entire apartment.
26points
#9
If every conversation somehow circles back to how "crazy" all of her exes were, that's usually my cue to leave.
26points
#10
I dated a girl in college who was quirky in an endearing way. Every now and then, she would say something that came right up to the edge of racist but I always gave her the benefit of the doubt.
One weekend, she asked me to take her back home so she could get some winter clothes and pick up her PlayStation (she didn’t have a car and actually didn’t know how to drive). I got to her place and chatted with her mom while she was upstairs getting things.
I mentioned that my girlfriend had told me about being in a band and asked her mom about it. The mom was very proud and handed me a photo album full of pictures. It turns out that my girlfriend was in a Neo N**i metal band. They had a big swaztika and the number 88 on the drum and they were all dressed in World War 2 outfits. My girlfriend was the bassist and had a little Hitler mustache painted on her upper lip in all the photographs.
One weekend, she asked me to take her back home so she could get some winter clothes and pick up her PlayStation (she didn’t have a car and actually didn’t know how to drive). I got to her place and chatted with her mom while she was upstairs getting things.
I mentioned that my girlfriend had told me about being in a band and asked her mom about it. The mom was very proud and handed me a photo album full of pictures. It turns out that my girlfriend was in a Neo N**i metal band. They had a big swaztika and the number 88 on the drum and they were all dressed in World War 2 outfits. My girlfriend was the bassist and had a little Hitler mustache painted on her upper lip in all the photographs.
26points
#11
We went to her bedroom and not only was the mattress on the floor, her toddler was asleep in a crib next to the mattress. It might not have been so weird if A) the child wasn’t facing the mattress, B) if she’d mentioned having a child while we were out, and C) we were out and the kid was in the crib the whole time. Had I known then what I know now, I would have called cps, but I was pretty young and didn’t know a thing about services like that.
25points
#12
We took a shower together. Her towel was as stiff as a board. Literally crunchy. I jokingly asked when the last time she washed her towel and she said completely seriously ‘Why would I wash my towel? It only ever touches me when I’m clean?’
23points
#13
Ever see one of those nuclear b**b test videos where the faces of people watching the test start rippling and stretching back as the shockwave hits them? That's what I experienced when she opened the front door of her house.
Except it was a shockwave of the hot stench of the p**s of an ungodly amount of cats that pissed everywhere but the litter box. I gagged and almost threw up.
I couldn't wrap my head around how any human could possibly tolerate or grow immune to that genuinely horrifying stench. Even my unfathomably h***y 21 year old self didn't care how hot she was. The odor blasting out of her open front door was far too revolting to step foot inside.
So to answer the question- I didn't see a thing. Because I never got past her front door.
Except it was a shockwave of the hot stench of the p**s of an ungodly amount of cats that pissed everywhere but the litter box. I gagged and almost threw up.
I couldn't wrap my head around how any human could possibly tolerate or grow immune to that genuinely horrifying stench. Even my unfathomably h***y 21 year old self didn't care how hot she was. The odor blasting out of her open front door was far too revolting to step foot inside.
So to answer the question- I didn't see a thing. Because I never got past her front door.
22points
#14
Place reeked of cat urine and that's when she told me that she was hiding ten cats in her bathroom. What began as 4 turned into 10 because she refused to get them fixed. Who knows how many are in there now!
22points
#15
Live. Laugh. Love. Stenciled on the wall.
21points
#16
One of her bureau drawers was filled with prescription bottles.
Other peoples' prescription bottles, that is.
Other peoples' prescription bottles, that is.
21points
#17
When I was 19 working as a busser a coworker asked for a ride home. When we get there she asks if I want to come in. I should preface this with she was an absolute smoke show, so I agreed without much thought. When we get inside she goes in for a kiss, and as she's moving in I see a photo directly behind her on the wall of her in a wedding photo. I stop her and point it out. To which she replies "that's my husband, but his d**k can't get hard so I get my needs filled in other ways." Granted I was a horney teenager, but I just watched my sister go through a nasty divorce with a cheating spouse so I declined the offer and left quickly.
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21points
#18
A friend dated a girl who kept used tampons in her wall. Like there was a hole in the wall of the house and she just put them there. No words.
19points
#19
Huge wall of confederate memorabilia. Giant flag, sabers, uniforms, rifles, the works. Her house was like a shrine to the confederacy.
19points
#20
Dated this woman 3 years ago. I was 45 at the time and she was 49. This was our 3 date in under a month. See seems very nice, well dressed, well spoken and hot. Divorced for 7 years.
We have been to my place a few times and now it was time to go to her place. Her apartment looks nice but had a odd odor. I knew right away it was mold. She said she had called her land lord. It was not awful but it was there. She went to pour me some water as the cup she gave me was filthy. So was hers. I stopped her and she was like oh I didn't notice. Went to get another and they were also dirty. When I saw her open up her cabinets all the dishes were dirty but put away. I was like hey let's call it a night. We stopped meeting and texted our parting messages.
We have been to my place a few times and now it was time to go to her place. Her apartment looks nice but had a odd odor. I knew right away it was mold. She said she had called her land lord. It was not awful but it was there. She went to pour me some water as the cup she gave me was filthy. So was hers. I stopped her and she was like oh I didn't notice. Went to get another and they were also dirty. When I saw her open up her cabinets all the dishes were dirty but put away. I was like hey let's call it a night. We stopped meeting and texted our parting messages.
19points