Guy Asks Men If They Regret Having Their Kids, And 40 Give Honest Answers

Most people love being parents, but for most people parenting is also too expensive and exhausting and isolating. If society were better for families, more people would love the experience. Humans did not evolve to parent in nuclear families, it is a huge psychological burden to not raise children with a group of other adults doing almost as much as the parents themselves do. People with money can minimize the stressors.

I'm with ya. I'm cool being the "fun uncle" and fire your kid up with a bunch of sugar then watch you have to deal with the aftermath. 😈.

Christmas is fun again
Tooth fairy
Bedtime stories
Playing silly games
Teaching them to swim / ride a bike / do everything
Playing on the park without looking like a nonce
Waking up to a little person cuddle
Their wonder at everything new
Watching them grow
Teaching them about things you enjoy and helping them explore new things they enjoy
Bluey (The dad in that program is epic)
They get more excited for your birthday than you do
Walls full of drawings
The hilarious things they say

I wasn't prepared for my daughters birth, but it's hands down, the single most amazing thing I've ever done. From being handed, what is essentially a micro poo machine in the hospital, to her being my best mate and watching her grow, it's amazing. I wish we'd done it sooner.

A lot of people derive satisfaction and fulfillment from having a family. Some folks don't. An unfortunate few try to be the first and find out that they're the second. I think most men are wired, to some degree, to want to have kids and be a father. I'm glad for the folks who don't that it's not as much of a deeply set default as it has been historically. The couple of friends I know who have kids swear by them, but most of my peer group aren't in a position to do so right now and several - including myself - are personally adamantly against having kids. It is what it is.

My oldest graduated HS last night. I would do anything to wake up tomorrow and it be his first day of school again. Run it back.

Father of 2 here. All the things you said in the first Paragraph. Difference is I’m older now and I hate money and people mostly anyway. I hate rest and sleep. I hate pooping alone and I hate food in fridge. I’ve done all the other stuff and I long for a different adventure and challenge. This adventure although extremely exhausting and mentally draining is ultimately more fulfilling in a part of my brain that I didn’t know existed. I’m on the back 9 and I guess I just don’t need it to be all about me anymore. I’m sacrificing 🤗.

Having kids is the ultimate humbling machine...in most cases with a few exceptions it will require you to develop patience and tolerance but it also teaches you to get out of yourself and actually start living life for someone else. Its like ripping out a piece of your heart and placing it on the outside you just want to care for it even if it can drive you crazy. You will find yourself feeling proud by the slightest and meaningless thing they do but deep inside you know you created that.


The best advice i can give to people who have a hard time or feel lousy because of dealing with their kids is to remember...remember when you were yourself a kid. Find joy in painting, dancing, watching cartoons, singing, etc. if specially if you used to enjoy that stuff when you were little.

As someone with 7 month old twins, they brought my life purpose and a joy I never thought I could experience. Am I tired, exhausted, and depressed? Yes. For 4 months I had to feed them every 3 hours days and night. My social life is non existent. I am new levels of poor. I don't regret any of it for the joy they bring me.

I love my kid, it’s been such an enjoyable ride seeing her grow up. Its like if your dog could talk to you.

Being a dad is awesome. It’s also exhausting and tiring and hard.

But being a dad and taking that step as a family is wonderful. You see your child figure out new things daily, your wife become a mom (or your partner become a parent etc) and you learn things about yourself.

It reframes a lot of life, and hopefully in a Way that you enjoy or come to enjoy


No greater happiness than my child seeing me walk up the front stairs and her bouncing up and down expecting to play with me.

I was a single dad thanks to a bad ex wife who stopped birth control without telling me.

It was hard and drove me to do extreme things to make money and keep us fed. I don't recommend going through it that way.

All in all i love my son. He's grown up and trying to make his way through life. It wasn't easy, I guess in the end it was worth it but everything you've said is true. Its life we were born to suffer.

Indoctrination, then people do mental gymnastics to justify their mistakes when their life is over.

Having a kid (he’s 4) is the most meaningful thing that has happened to me, and nothing else comes close. It’s a bond to a living being that can’t be replicated any other way. So yeah, it’s hard at times, but it’s all very much worth it.

It gets easier. Once they go to college they don't come back. At least mine didn't. After 2 divorces the kids and their kids are all i have. So happy I have them.

Your friends sound like bad fathers.

Having kids affords you the ability to learn that having a better, happy life doesn’t come down to having fun and enjoying your social circle.

It introduces a concept called fulfillment and it’s beautiful.

Many men grow out of the thrills of their 20s. I look back on them very fondly, having been well spent living an exciting life. Nothing extravagant, but fun, free and meaningful with very close friends and no cares in the world.

Free time, women, nights with friends, etc. are well spent on youth, but become easy to move on from when other meaningful things come along.

Tonight I'm at home, watching a show. My two little kids are sound asleep in their beds while my wife is out at her friends birthday. My two, very close, single, late-30s friends are hanging out playing video games and watching movies over drinks. I'd love to be there with them, but in a few hours when my kids wake up and wander over to my room after a bad dream or a bathroom break, will make me happy as can be.

Young kids are tiring, demanding, expensive, stubborn and selfish. But man do they ever have the power to warm your heart with a smile, a song, a hug, or punch in the throat. Little kids don't stay little for very long, but do they ever leave an impression.

I love kids and am sad I'll never have one. Actually soul crushing to know because I'll never have a relationship that I can never have a kid. Can't explain it.

Kids give back in little ways and are a mirror to you in big ways.

Lots of character development for the parents as well.

Most people are too narcissistic to value the points I made above, so here's a couple more:

To your point, a post capitalist society really doesn't allow the middle class to succeed here. If you are poor, you'll keep cranking them out for benefits. And if you are rich? Who tf cares? You aren't raising the little devils anyway. The middle class gets hosed, having to pay for everything out of pocket.

Kids are most certainly a woman's prerogative as well.... I've only ever known a couple of men who genuinely wanted them. Contrary to virtue signalers on Reddit, kids *do* destroy relationships.

Since none of the things we parents tell non-parents really can make sense (how would it? You kinda have to experience it to know what we mean), ask yourself this:

Take all the disadvantages you see. Take all the negatives you can think of. Add to this about 10% more negatives you haven't thought of just for good measure.

Quite negative, isn't it?

Well, now imagine how happy that child would have to make you to outweigh literally all of that and make you want another.

That is how seeing your kid grow up feels.

Consider what life will be like when you're 60 or older. No children to visit and counsel, no grandchildren to compete with in video games.

You won't be 30 and carefree forever; take thought for tomorrow before making decisions for today.