“Drives My Wife Crazy”: 50 Misunderstandings Men Say They Deal With Constantly

I don't always want to be the one that initiates s*x. It makes me feel like a creep.

Sometimes we could use a hug.

I was at home, when my wife and her friends got home one day from the pub, they were all giving me funny looks and smirking, I asked what was going on, they at first, refused to tell me.

After a little while of prodding one of them goes, "I HEARD ALL ABOUT YOUR D**K!" and they all broke into laughter, I was a little taken by surprise but laughed and said something like, "Oh yea? Hopefully all good!" and they laughed, and that was the end of it.

After they left, I was like, "What the hell did you tell them?!" and my wife responded by saying how she told her friends about our vigorous romps on our Honeymoon in Mexico, apparently in great detail. (We were there for a week and probably had s*x about 3 times a day -- we were both pretty sore when we got home). We had an all inclusive so we ended up getting day drunk and got pretty physical with each other as you do on a honeymoon.

She was like, "whatever, you probably tell your friends all about us when it's just the boys"

I don't know about you guys, but the EXTENT of what I ever say is usually a raised eyebrow and something like, "Aww yea booooi" I have never once described my wife's body to a single one of my friends, nothing in detail about any of my sexual partners (from before my wife) and it blew her mind.

Apparently girls talk in great detail about it, guys usually don't. And they assume we do, and we assume they don't.

A lot of us aren't great at picking up hints.

Most of us don’t get complimented so if you do give us one we’ll remember it forever.

When we say we don't care we really dont care. Yes we can have an opinion on something, but when we say we don't care that means our opinion isn't strong enough to sway us either way on something.

Why I don't know what the f**k my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.

That just because I'm quiet in your presence doesnt mean I'm upset. Just means I'm either tired, dont have anything to say, or I'm thinking about something.

From a gay dude's perspective, probably explaining that my sexuality doesn't mean i'm an expert on women's beauty stuff.

I'll go shopping with you and give you my opinion on outfits, but I'm not some Paris fashion wizard because I get naked with other men. Speaking of which, I can do drag makeup. No, Cindy. That does not mean I'll do your makeup. Why? It's *Drag* makeup, you will look like a clown f****d a real housewife. Is that what you want, Cindy?

We're still a human so that's mean We have feelings too

So please take care when choosing your words when you're arguing with us.

Sometimes an erection just happens. We don't control the thing, it's a physical response that could literally be from nothing.

When you ask us what we're thinking about and we say nothing, it's because we know you don't want to hear about ninja space dinosaurs.

If I don't jerk off, I can't think straight. I'll end up doing something stupid like invade Poland, start a megachurch, or buy a timeshare.

When you say "does this outfit look OK?" and we say "yes, you look stunning" and you reply "well, you WOULD say that", half my brain thinks "please believe me because you do look stunning" and the other half thinks "wtf did you ask me for if you aren't going to believe me?".

I should add that this was just a generic example, I do tell my wife she's is beautiful, I do say things like "yes that colour really suites you" to try and help put her mind at ease. We've been together for 20+ years and are really strong together so she knows I think she's amazing.

How much compliments mean to us. It’s a different type of happy when a guy gets complimented.

I'm seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office.

I turn my head for d**n near everything that enters my periphery, you're really not that special.

Your hints are obvious to other women. Not men. If it *can* be rationalized, it will.

No, we're not getting jealous when you're dating someone to get our attention. We're thinking 'Good for her. I'm glad she found someone.'

We're not thinking that you're trying to get our attention by hanging out with us, even when you specifically ask to be alone with us. We're thinking 'Wow, I'm so glad to have a friend who wants to hang out with me.'

Words matter. They're effective and leave no room for misinterpretation. Just say you want to date us. Us guys are trained not to assume a girl is into us. If we do and we're wrong, we're socially crucified. At worst, it could result in legal action, depending on the extent it went to. It's too dangerous for us to assume, so please don't make us.

My legs aren’t spread to show dominance, they’re spread because my s*****m is sticking to my thigh and it’s super uncomfortable.

But less uncomfortable than explaining this in public.

No, you do NOT have superpowers that give you the ability to read my mind! Hearing "You think....", makes my skin crawl.

That we don’t know every detail about everyone else in my life. When I mention I hung out with someone my mom will ask my what their wife does for a living and can’t understand That It didn’t come up in conversation.