Men Are Sharing Little Things Women Do That Make Them Feel Valued And Loved (30 Answers)

Redditor u/optimist_cult opened up to Bored Panda that she'd recently "rejoined the dating world" and was considering what she wanted in a partner. "I was also considering what I have to offer my partner in a holistic way," she explained the story behind the interesting thread.

"I was surprised to learn that a lot of men view non-sexual affection as inherently romantic in contextual situations and that made me kind of sit back and ponder some things," she said, referring to hugs and hand-holding.

"Love languages are important but it would seem that Physical Affection and Words of Affirmation are some of the most prominent in the men who responded," the OP told Bored Panda.

We were also interested to get u/optimist_cult's opinion on the secret to a long-lasting relationship. According to her, it's essential to "really communicate with your partner and HEAR them when they express themselves."

She said: "Not everything is an attack or a criticism. Being self-aware, being willing to make concessions, and practicing empathy with your partner will go a long way."

Meanwhile, Bored Panda wanted to get dating expert Dan's thoughts on romantic gestures in relationships. "Rather than being romantic, most men just want their girlfriend or wife to be respectful, loving, and affectionate towards them. Most men don't need romance, or to be swept off their feet, so to speak," the founder of The Modern Man explained to us.

"Generally speaking though, some men would love it if their girlfriend or wife did one of the following:

• Offered him a relaxing, oil massage and then did it with love. 
• Cooked him his favorite meal and then when serving him the meal, she kissed him and told him that she loves and appreciates him.
• Did something to show support for his favorite hobby (e.g. bought him a new, more comfortable gaming chair for when he plays video games, cleared out space in the garage for him to have a workbench, and then told him she did that because she loves him and knows he enjoys building things, or tinkering with things in the garage)."

The dating expert stressed the fact that clear communication is essential, whatever you do. "It's important to point out though that many men need to hear a woman say that she is doing something because she loves him, respects him, or appreciates him," Dan told Bored Panda.

"If she does something that she thinks is romantic, but does it as more of a matter-of-fact type of action, many men will assume that she's just going through the motions and just happened to cook his favorite meal because she couldn't think of anything else to cook, or because the ingredients for it were in the fridge."

We were also curious about what could help couples stay excited about the small things, like holding hands, in a long-term relationship. The dating expert said that couples "must avoid growing apart in the relationship." Miscommunication, misunderstandings, and being too self-centered can damage the relationship.

"Couples who remain committed to caring for each other, being loving and understanding and being present will naturally want to hold hands, hug and kiss," he said. "Yet, couples who get into the habit of arguing, or trying to make the other feel at fault, won't feel motivated to hold hands and may worry about being rejected if they attempt to."

Both men and women tend to have the same goals when it comes to love. According to Sylvia Smith writing for Marriage.com, everyone values “a kind and intelligent person with an exciting personality.”

At the same time, looks do matter. It’s important that a person be physically attracted to their partner, too. And this is a factor that everyone keeps in mind when choosing who to date.

Some of the things that men find romantic, according to Smith, include honesty and clear communication, as “men’s idea of romance is more logical.” While some people enjoy ambiguity and reading in between the lines of what their potential partners say, far from everyone does. Openness, then, is key.

Meanwhile, men also value small displays of affection, like their partner holding their hand or being physically close to them. Having their date take the time out of their day to take part in their favorite activities also works wonders. And it doesn’t much matter what the activity is, so long as the person enjoys it—whether it’s cooking, hiking, watching old-timey movies, or putting together a massive puzzle that covers the entirety of their living room floor.

Women can show men that they care about them in other small ways, too, such as sending them a loving text message, brewing them a cup of coffee on a sleepy Sunday morning, or organizing a small surprise date. There are no limits except for your imagination and how well you know your partner's personal likes and dislikes.