When Elizabeth Aura McClintock, Ph.D., who, among many other areas, researches mating selection, gender, and sexuality, conducted a nationally representative survey of about 15,000 young women and men (average age 22), she found that to 82 percent of men (and 84 percent of women), being married someday is "very" or "somewhat" important.
Additionally, young women and men differ little in reported relationship commitment. "Gender differences do exist among young adults in the...data, but they do not indicate an insurmountable rift between women's and men's desired romantic trajectories," the sociologist explained.
However, that doesn't mean that guys have it all figured out. They still experience doubts. So when one Reddit post asked fellas to share their biggest insecurity as boyfriends and husbands, many agreed to show vulnerability and obliged.
#21
Why me? Why not somone else? What do i have that you would like?
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48points
#22
Not being enough for her. I know I work my butt of at work, emotionally supportive, and giving goals and lead way to what’s next in life. However, there’s always that voice that says you need to be more, it’s not enough, try harder. So, I push the living hell outta myself.
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43points
#23
My wife had cancer and now is in remission. I never felt more useless than when we were at the hospital and they told us and I just couldn’t do anything to fix it. I had to hope that someone else could help save my wife’s life. I couldn’t just beat the cancer up or yell at it or tell it to leave her alone, I felt f*****g useless.
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43points
#26
- Not being as good a provider as I know I could be. What am I working *for,* anyway?
- Empathy. She tells me her troubles and my only thought is: How can I fix them? She doesn't want me to fix them, she just wants me to listen and care.
- Empathy. She tells me her troubles and my only thought is: How can I fix them? She doesn't want me to fix them, she just wants me to listen and care.
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38points
#27
She’s such a better parent than I am. Between my temper and my size, both of my girls have this “don’t p**s off dad” mentality. It’s effective in the heat of the moment, but I watch her interacting with them and I feel completely inadequate as a parent.
Edit: As there seems to be a commonality in the comments here, I’ll note that I have been seeking professional help for both the PTSD and the anger management issues at the core of this. I want to be a better parent for my children, and it’s clear that I need professional help to get there.
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37points
#28
The amount of attention she receives. In my head, I can't compete with any of the guys who openly go after her. And I genuinely think she would not give me the time of day if she didn't have a child I am great with.
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35points
#29
The potential your wife might leave you is especially concerning.
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29points
#30
Why pick me when you have 50 other opportunities at a moment's notice lol
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29points
#31
Not being good enough. I’ve felt this way all my life to the point where it’s my normal. This is because of the way my family and friends treated me in the past. So, it was a bit of a shock when my girlfriend treated me the complete opposite way by loving me and telling me that I’m more than enough for her. The feeling of inadequacy comes up from time to time and i still have not fully dealt with it. I am really lucky though to have her as my girl.
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29points
#32
Dying young and having another man raise my children and f**k my wife. It's all the encouragement I need to live healthy.
29points
#34
I know it is unlikely but dying at the wrong time. Like driving the family somewhere or she is at work (she works odd hours) and it is just me and the kids. I had this walking nightmare for years of me getting like a stroke while driving down the highway and sliding out of control with everyone screaming or me just keeling over at home while my kids sit with my corpse for 6 hours.
As for why maybe it is because I like problem solving stuff for them and one day that is going to go away.
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25points
