30 Dads Get Raw And Honest About Their Experience In The Delivery Room

1st daughter was 40 hours of labor before they finally did a c-section. I remember exhaustion. She got pissed at me at one point for nodding off. Attempting labor was violent. They were jumping up on her and pushing down on her belly trying to force the kid out. I got to see the top of her head before they decided she wasn't going to exit the usual way. Once she was out, her head was shaped like a banana from being partially forced through the birth canal. I was numb and wiped out.

2nd daughter, we planned the c-section. I was in there with her. They put me at her head and pointed me at her face, put up a little curtain at her chest that looked like it was made of the same material as the scrubs so we couldn't see what was going on. They asked me if I wanted a chair. No, I said, I was fine. I held her hand and talked to her. At one point I looked down at my feet, and I was standing in a lake of blood. I then realized why there was a drain in the floor. I asked for the chair as my knees buckled and they got it under me before I collapsed.

Second child after the first child had been incredible difficult. My wife went into labor at an ice cream place ("Ooph, I really need to poop..."). We drove to the hospital straight from there. I had been practicing a form of hypnosis to use on her in the hospital. Once she got settled in, I did that and she was able to totally relax from 6 CM dilated to to 10 CM.

We had a midwife for this one. None of us had planned this, but it was going so well that the midwife just put me in the receiving position and I did all the work. Midwife stepped in once to show me how to help scoop open the vaginal canal a little bit with a finger. I touched my daughter's head once she was crowning, and gave a little pull once the head was fully exposed. She dropped right into my arms. I pronounced that she was a girl, cut the cord, and held her to my naked chest while my wife and the midwife finished up and a nurse wiped all the goo off of her. Best day of my life.

It was fine. It was stressful, for obvious reasons. My wife was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. At times during the birth of my first son, the staff were clearly concerned about him. But it wasn't abnormally stressful.

Things I would advise:

* Pay attention to all the stuff the hospital advises you to bring for your wife. She could be there for hours. Make sure she has what she needs to be as comfortable as possible. Take, or arrange for someone else to bring, some of the food she has missed during pregnancy (for after the birth and when she is allowed to eat again).
* Discuss with your wife what pain-relief she wants if she finds she cannot bear the pain. Be realistic. My wife was dead set against an epidural and asked me to tell the staff as much, if she wasn't in the state to do it herself. In the event, she lay, as I thought, off her head on gas and air and moaning with pain. "I think she needs an epidural", said one of the the stuff. "Oh no," I piped up, "she asked me to tell you she doesn't want an injection in her spine, under any circumstances". At this point, my wife screamed like something from the Exorcist, "Yes, I f*****g do! Give me drugs. Get this f*****g thing out of me. Get a boxcutter and cut it f*****g out". The best-laid plans and all that...
* Decide how you intend to travel to the hospital and practice getting there using your chosen form of transport.
* For yourself, take a pillow, food and something to read. My wife's first labor took around 30 hours. For much of that time, she was out cold. I was left sitting on a hard chair, with no food and I soon got through my reading material.

Of course, it might be totally different for you. But better to have things and not need them than need them and not have them.

EDIT: the other thing I would say, is don't feel pressured to go down to the end where all the action is, unless your help is needed or your partner asks you to. One of the midwives was desperate to get me down there ("It's the miracle of birth!", "Look, it's your chance to see the placenta!"). My wife didn't need me down there. She wanted me holding her hand. I had no inclination to have a look. So why should anyone else hassle me to?

My son was born third of January 2019. Wife was induced but baby still wasn't playing ball. Wife was having contractions as she should but he was having none of it. His pulse started dropping to an emergency c section was decided on. I was put in scrubs and sat in the room with wife while she was operated on. Her canular fell out and I got blood all over my scrubs. So I looked like an extra from Mad Max at this stage.

Wife was out her face and not doing so great. I was holding her hand, curtain is up so can't see what's going on. Baby suddenly screams loud - I'm very happy with this it was a strong and definitive yell which was great. We weigh him, he cuddles my wife etc. I'm then told to take him out to a recovery room while wife is sewn up.

There are loads of happy families in there all together. I'm alone, covered in blood and holding my beautiful son who is wrapped in a towel and blankets. He's not moving around much. Eventually a consultant and trainee take him from me and tell me he needs to be in ICU immediately as he is not looking clever. So I abandon waiting for wife and follow him up there. He goes under a light, then goes into the ICU and they're not happy either. They're putting hooks under his scalp, I ask about this and they say they can't find brain activity. They ask if I want to hold him, I say no I don't want to bond anymore if he is possibly brain-dead.

The rest is a bit of a haze, running up and down three flights of stairs to help wife express, then bring it to son, up and down. Blacked out a couple times doing this for 5 or 6 hours then went home to sleep when I could do no more.

Came in at 5 or 6 next morning to find wife with okay baby in her arms down in ICU room. Thank Christ. Really really difficult time but really made a man of me. Love my wife and son to bits even more so worrying I would lose both of them that day. Also his name tag outside - we hadn't agreed yet but I wanted to call him frank. The name tag had been changed at my wife's request to say Frank instead of just Baby -Surname- which was wonderful.

Was extremely pleased and not anxious at all taking them both home a week or two later when it had died down.

My wife had a scheduled C-section. I sat by her head with a curtain blocking the view to her abdomen. The nurse told me to stand up and look to see my son being born. I stood up in time to see my wife split open like fish and a nurse dragging my blue son out of her belly. Could see some of her internal organs as well. Nearly passed out, sat down heavily back on my stool, and did not look again.

It was incredible, breathtaking, amazing, and terrifying. Being the first person my daughter saw and making eye contact with her when she came out was an out of body experience. I have a great picture from about three minutes after she was born where I’m holding her and we’re staring at each other and it looks like she’s sticking her tongue out at me.

I wasn’t anxious about the moment going in, but when it happened, it was like my entire life would now be summed up as before and after that exact moment.

Now, the 55 hours of waiting was much less existentially awesome. That was pure torture. Wife was in pain, unable to rest, nurses checking on her every half hour, constant prodding and poking, lots of trips to the little refreshment area to get ice.

Looking back, it was such a crazy experience. You can’t really describe it in a way that does it justice.

Surreal, joyous, terrifying, exhausting. Main memories are getting worried when heart rates dropped quickly with our first but that just turned out to be the probe not being stable.

Remember that as a man, although your job is important, it is by far the least important job in the room so shut up and do as you're told.

I remember being adamant I was gonna cut the cord for our eldest but when I was suddenly presented with the baby I just stood there mouth agape for about 10 seconds before the midwife did what needed to be done, but left a bit for me to cut later.

And I remember having the best nap ever in the hospital bed with my wife after a 10-12 hour labour for our second whilst my mother in law kept an eye on the baby even though she'd been there the whole time too.

And the look on my eldest's face as he met his little brother for the first time

Louise from Bob's Burgers said it best. "It was like an angry softball pushing it's way out of a coin purse".

Probably one of the most important and memorable days of my life. When the baby came out I was overcome with emotion and the bond formed between my wife and I through the experience is something that I don’t think could be achieved in any other way.

Emergency c section. Kid came out not breathing and heart not beating. Everything is happening so fast and everyone in the room knows what's going on except for me. 1/10 do not want to do that again.