24 Stories About Men Who Went To The Altar Against Their Will, And What Followed Next

There's no pressure to marry. If you've been with a woman for 4+ years and she's good enough to make you a sandwich, wash your underwear and give you a bj, but not good enough to marry her - just leave.

It's incredibly selfish to say "I,was pressured into marriage". No, for many years you were in a committed relationship with a person you didn't see your future with, while keeping her under impression that she's the one for you. Break up and let her find someone who considers her good enough.

I got married out of pressure. I met a girl and got deployed. Wrote her all the time. My team noticed and wrote the wives club. The women all met and decided for me that she was the one. Arranged the wedding for when we returned. Seven days later, I married and still am 52 years later.

It happened to me once. I had only been with her a year. She kept asking and asking when when are we going to get married. Then, one night, she had a few drinks and really got going. I buckled just to make it end.

Then I broke up with her a few weeks later. I didn't want to marry someone who was always pressuring me into what she wanted. But I imagine some guys would stick it out.

I guess I was sort of indirectly pressured by external events. I was at a stage with my girlfriend where everything was going fantastic and I saw absolutely no reason why I wouldn't propose eventually if we continued on the same trajectory. But I had a job change looming on the horizon and it came down to me moving with her as my wife, or trying the long-distance thing yet again (which had not worked in the past in previous relationships). So, I ended up proposing earlier than is usual in most relationships. Had everything else been equal, I probably would have waited.

But things worked out. She ended up being just the kind of loving wife and mother to our kids that I'd always dreamed of. I guess I got lucky, but the complete lack of any red flags early in our relationship was a good sign that she was worth the leap.

I was heavily pressured to marry an ex (prior to meeting my wife), and thank God I got out of that before I made what would have been the worst mistake of my life.

I got my girlfriend pregnant when I was 23. I thought she was on birth control however she stopped taking it without telling me. I thought she was for me but there were many red flags. I married her out of shame. I didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock. Then she joined the army , it was part of her plan. You can't join the military as a single parent. She had plans to divorce me when she got use out of me. Two kids later in that rabbit hole and 21 years later we are divorced. It broke me for 2 solid years. I had to get counseling and find myself lol. I'm better now and have found true love. I wish none of it happened. It also [mess] my daughter up growing up with her. My son's aren't as bad. I wish I had a redo.

I dated a woman for 3 years, but she started pressuring me to get married about 6 months into the relationship. We broke up and got back together several times over the 3 years we were together. After our second last breakup I had decided that I would marry her. I finally proposed, but she turned me down saying that she didn’t want to be the woman I settled for. We broke up for good a short while later.
I met my wife about a year later, we dated for about 3 months before we moved in together and we have been together and happy even since. It has been 13 years now.

I got married out of pressure, subtle as it may have been. We dated for about four years. That marriage lasted for three years. Those seven years felt like decades.

After that divorce, I married my second wife after dating for about nine months. The twenty-two years we've been together have went by in a blink of the eye.

While it's only an n=1 data point, it strongly suggests you're right, OP.

She told me after we were together for two years or so, if you don’t plan to marry me don’t waste my time. I proposed shortly after, best choice I’ve ever made.

The people who pressure you into marriage are doing it because they think youre their only chance of getting married. Or they want to lock you in for what they can get out of you. If anyone pressures you, just walk away.

Plenty of guys go through with it because saying no feels harder than living with the decision. You’re 5+ years in…everyone’s waiting…and it feels easier to just get married than to deal with the fallout. But that “easier” choice turns into quiet resentment. You start living a life you didn’t actively choose…just one you didn’t say no to.
And ngl that’s a brutal way to coast through your 30s….

No. It has been the absolute worst decision of my life. My Brazilian girlfriend got pregnant and then begged me to marry her even though I wasn't in love with her and I told her that I didn't want to marry her many times. She kept begging and pressured me into it and I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time since she was pregnant with my baby. Now we have the cutest baby but our relationship is terrible. She gets mad at me to the point where she breaks things, splashes water on me, punches me. She has hit me in the head with a plastic bottle. No good deed goes unpunished. I wish I listened to my family and friends and never married her. I honestly wish I never met her.

Not really happy. Its a chore.

And once living together started, its just a burden everytime. We are very different people and have different interests/goals/lifestyles.

Frankly im still sticking around because of responsibility/commitment, but am I enjoying myself? The answer is a hard no.

Happily married now, but I almost went down this path and the answered almost guaranteed would have been no. Marriage doesn’t fix anything, it’d be like buying a car you didn’t like but knowing you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life. But multiplied by 20x.

Genuinely great and very thoughtful question though.

I'm happy now we've been divorced for 5 years yeah!

I’m freshly 24 and freshly married, and felt the pressure after my then-29 now-30yr old wife proposed to me, but honestly her family treats me well, and makes me feel like their son, so I honestly don’t regret it. Do I struggle with my own emotions? Yeah, do I tell her? No because the last thing I would want is for her or anyone else to say they struggle to love me. I know when she’s gone off to work or errands that I miss her, and that I enjoy spending time with her. that tells me all I need to know if I love her or not.

Ehhh….
Sometimes.
Maybe 30% of the time. Definitely not my soulmate. Not sure that is something I believe in, though. She isn’t a bad person but she hid some compatibility issues and now that we are married and in a house she has the image that she wants and that’s just where things are. For now.

I asked a counsellor once why they thought relationships break down. They replied incompatibility...

If it’s not a resounding YES from both parties then they shouldn’t get married.

A lot of guys stay with a woman because they don’t feel that they have options. So better the devil they know than the dating scene. Not to mention they get a little Stockholm syndrome. So many guys don’t truly see how awful their wives are until they leave. The weight they feel lifted is massive.

My brother did and it was a huge mistake. She thought after the marriage , once the child arrived a year later things would be great, he's a changed man and she would live her traditional catholic life with him. Little did she know he was pressured by her family, he gave in but still wanted to hang out and mess around. They divorced a year later after their unnecessarily expensive catholic wedding and she still holds a grudge 20 years later.

Absolutely do not do it! I was this scenario exactly. 5 years and then 8 years of marriage. 13 years gone! My girlfriend now is the love of my life and every one I’ve dated since I’ve broken it off the moment I knew it wasn’t what I wanted long term. I will never make a mistake with my life like that ever again.

It’s not worth giving up your time while this life we all get is so short!