50 Times Men Tried To Assert Dominance But Made Fools Out Of Themselves

Had a dude get mad at me for "talking to his girl all the time."

I was her Econ tutor.

eb_straitvibin:

I once tutored this truly clueless girl general chemistry. She wanted to be a nurse, and couldn’t get past the first class, but whatever, I’ll tutor you. She was, however very pretty. Second tutoring session, she shows up with her boyfriend. Dude doesn’t study, doesn’t say a damn word the whole 2 hour session. Just stares at me and her going over the basics of chemistry. Next class same thing. Next class, I bring my girlfriend to have a stare off with him. He got the message and left us alone.

goodnt-guy:

Some people's ideas of normal...

When asked about what his hobbies are, he responded with "Hobbies are for children and single women. I work.".

enjollras:

"You want to know how cool I am? You want to know how tough I am? I'm so tough that I have no life, interests or friends."

HelpfulHistory:

TIL, I'm tough

A guy was mad at me while sitting at a light and was revving his engine. It sounded like He held it at the red line, and there was a big crack sound and smoke started coming out of the front Of his car.

The dummy blew his engine.

p0rt:

That's when you throw your head back and laugh as you slowly accelerate forward in your 2013 Dodge Dart.

Mr_Mori:

"in your 2013 Dodge Dart."

hides keys

We once had a candidate come into the interview and legit say he wanted to sit behind the desk because he was going to be asking the questions to decide if he wanted to work with us. I think he'd gotten some bad advice about having confidence. I laughed but our HR manager flipped out. The only time I have ever seen her call security.

Anon:

What was the guy's reaction once he realized it was going badly?

OP:

Oh he was committed. "Well this is obviously a hostile work environment...blah, blah, blah"

I was standing in the breezeway outside a friend's apartment while in college, and a guy coming down the stairs from an upper floor kinda tripped near the bottom of the stairs and stumbled into me. It was clear he was super drunk and immediately got aggressive. He was so worked up about being tougher than me for some reason that ***he started doing push ups at me*** while me and my friends just laughed.



Fortunately his friends came and apologized and took him back up stairs, but it was definitely the most bizarre assertion of dominance I've ever encountered.

bryanandani:

He wasn't doing push ups, he was literally pushing the earth away from himself. That is how strong he was.

animetriplicate:

His lizard hindbrain is apparently of the Texas Spiny Lizard variety.
They do push ups at each other to defend their territories (which are frequently suburban driveways).

I used to tend bar in Milwaukee, and there is nothing that triggers bros more than seeing someone drinking something *they* don't like. I can't tell you how many arguments began with some guy - always unsolicited/unprovoked, mind you - feeling compelled to judge and "educate" other guys about what they're drinking (or not drinking).

"You drink *that*??" and it goes downhill from there.

No one cares. Drink what you like and shut up.

ISlicedI:

I was at a bar in Stevens Point and the barman whips out a [dirty] mag asking if I want to read it. “No thanks..” “Why not? Are you gay?”
He looked as if I had offended his ancestors by not wanting to read his mag in the middle of a bar.

BlueKing7642:

In some cultures refusing an offer to look at [dirty] magazines is the ultimate sign of disrespect.

Frank__Lloyd__Wrong:

Yeah we call them rednecks.

One of my friends was at a bar we're regulars at, so I went up to her to say hi, not realizing she was on a date. She introduces me, "Hey, this is my friend, Boof_Dawg." I shook his hand and said, "Hey man, nice to meet you."

He legitimately reaponds, "I'm an alpha male."

Neither my friend or I knew how to follow that.

It sounds ridiculous but it 100% happened and I *hope* will forever be the most ridiculous thing someone says to me.

Not letting go of a handshake. It’s happened a few times and always make me wanna treat it as a hostile action. Last time it happened I just started caressing their hand with my finger and the guy jerked away. I winked at him after.

Eliju:

That’s great. I’ve found that the best way to respond to angry dudes road raging is to blow them a kiss. They lose it.

94358132568746582:

I gave a guy a thumbs up after he cut me off and was on his way off the highway on an exit ramp. I actually thought he was going to wreck because I have never seen someone so mad. That thumbs up enraged him. I don't even understand why he was so mad. He is the one that almost hit me.

Threatened to beat me up if I so much as look at his girlfriend again. His girlfriend was my sister.

I maintained eye contact whilst laughing, as she dumped him on the spot.

tarekd19:

how did he take it? Its surprising he didn't even know (or didn't care? which is worse)

OP:

Very badly, tried to take a swing at me, but we were in a pub full of bikers, all of whom knew me.
I got a round in, he was 'helped' out the door.

Once when i was walking on a street a guy was walking behind me and started to walk faster so he could pass me. I didn't care but then he just stared at me straight in the eyes and walks into a tree

In college, I got into an elevator and was followed in by a younger guy I didn’t know. He eyed my (pretty standard in every way) backpack and said “My backpack is way bigger than yours.”

Fair enough, he had a military, jumbo pack. Could’ve easily gone on a hike/camp with it. I smiled and agreed, but he kept talking about how much bigger his was and how he couldn’t fit anything into one like mine.

“Weird flex” as the kids say.

A former coworker. He would just stand in the way and refuse to move. Even if he wasnt in the way he would purposely get in the way. I work in a narrow kitchen so you can imagine how annoying that could be.

At one particular moment I was carrying a bulky 20 lbs box and he decided to do that. I pretended to not see him and barreled into him. He fell over and got incredibly mad at me. Started talking about how I have no muscle. It was pretty funny.

It was a display of the most fragile masculinity I've ever seen.

A friend tried to make himself look good in front of his crush by literally putting me in a random choke hold "for a laugh". Turns out it was because I was talking to her (I had a girlfriend at the time, we were just talking).

It wasn't a choke hold though, it was basically just a headlock, so I decided to correct him. I was fairly oblivious and didn't realise this was a failed "alpha move".

Creeped out of his crush that he would do that out of no-where and she stopped talking to him. Apparently she quite liked him up until that point.

Was on a 4 hour flight. In a 2 person row. The guy demanded to have full access to the middle armrest. Would push my arm off it if I ever got near it.

lexushelicopterwatch:

Oh man. I was in the middle of a three seat row. The guy in my left was some type of exec checking his work email on his laptop. Anyway after the first hour of arm rest jockeying I just ask him, “are we doing this the entire flight?”
He pretended to not speak English. The jerk was reading his emails in English and pulled the No hables card on me.
He finally conceded the armrest after that.

Was at a party and was given the task of handing out beers to people. This guy flipped out, screaming saying he only drink REAL beer.

Dude, it was cold and free, that is the best beer there is.

I work in a grocery store and sometimes help unload the delivery trucks and our delivery comes in on what we call cages, like a 6 foot cage on wheels and obviously one that's full of toilet paper will be really light and one filled with 2 litre bottles of juice are the heavy ones. The lift that lowers them from the truck has that patterned metal floor and you have to pull the heavy cages hard to get them off, now Im 5'8" and don't have a lot of weight on me but I can pull these cages off just fine but there's a guy who's like 6'2" and is always trying to show how strong he is, so whenever Im helping and he's there he always insists he gets the heavy cages and that I get the "little guy cages". Everyone agrees he needs to grow up.

I'm not sure how much this counts. But I hear a lot of dudes that brag about how many hours they work in a day or week. Guys that are like "yeah I worked 20 out of 24 hours yesterday and only got 2 hours of sleep".

Like... sorry that you have poor work/life balance and time management skills? How are you expecting me to react?

Playing a game of pool at a bar for a beer, dude missed an easy shot and broke the cue stick on his knee. He then gets in my face to try to intimidate me, I just simple tell him “look dude you are at a locals bar”

He shut up and left after that. Dummy.

Edit: yep most of you are correct, locals bar ment we all knew each other and had everyone’s back. Only time I’ve had to use that line, honestly was looking out for this dude more then anything, did not want to see him get kicked and any of us go to jail that night.

I had someone stand on their tippy toes to seem taller when we where talking.

It was a co-ed recreational adult indoor soccer league (20-28 year olds pretty much) and there was this one dude who thought he was some guy who should be in the pros. He was average at best, but the issue was he kept tripping people, pushing them around (theres basically a no contact rule since there were women and it's a rec league) and we all kinda had enough of him.

Anyway, I have the ball and dribble for a bit with it, the whole time he is on my heels trying to trip me and kick my legs etc. Being an ex college player, I know how it works and I just avoid it, but he was doing it to everyone including the women. Eventually I just stopped with the ball, turned around, and gave him a slight push, like no more than you would use to push a shopping cart into a cart corral. He immediately gets up and puffs his chest out and gets in my face (hes like 6'2'', I'm like 5'10'). Then he literally screams "I WILL DESTROY YOU." I just laugh it off and walk away cause I knew I just got us both kicked out of the game. What a tool.