30 Wild And Heartbreaking Stories From Fathers Who Discovered Their Child Wasn't Actually Theirs

I have a mixed race child. Originally was told it was mine until she actually gave birth. Since she was mixed, she came out pretty light skinned. Very light skinned, actually. But as she got older, her skin got darker and darker. Let the mother stick around for about a year to 2 years. She wasn't from where we were living and didn't have anywhere else to go. Didn't want to kick baby out into the streets. Finally, I had enough of her crazy and kicked her out. But, I ended up getting attached to the little girl.

Fast forward 2 years and I'm single, lonely, depressed and missing the little girl. I've had no contact with them. Through the grapevine, I hear my little girls real dad has nothing to do with her. No contact, no father. From the story I get, the real dad was married and refused her.

I set up a meeting with my little girl after two years to get a feeling on the situation and it was like those two years never happened. She ran up to me like she just saw me yesterday. I talked to the mother and I said that I'll take care of her. We never went to court. No child support has ever been filed. We don't fight about anything. I tell her if she needs anything as far as money or clothes, whatever, I'll take care of it.

She's now 10, I'm married, my wife accepts her with open arms and loves her like I do. She's an awesome kid. Great student. No troubles. I have to teach her a bit of humility because all she concerned about is being beautiful. But if that's my biggest worry with her, I think that's ok. I wouldn't change anything at all.

I will tell you one thing. I live in the south and you would think that a married white couple with 2 normal white kids and an older mixed girl, one would think you'd get more looks from white folks. Surprisingly, it's the black folks that gives us more "WTH?" looks than anything. But like I said, I wouldn't trade her for anything. I love that silly girl.

My daughter isn't mine. My now ex-wife knows, I know, our daughter is little and doesn't know. The real father doesn't want anything to do with her. In my mind she'll always be my daughter. I'll raise her and care for her, not because I have to, but because she deserves the love of a father as much as anyone else. My ex-wife I don't wish ill upon, when I let her go I let all that anger go too. I'm just happy to have this little girl in my life.

Was told he was mine. Raised him for 8yrs before getting my own paternity test done to find out the truth. I changed his diapers, taught him how to ride his bike, basic dad stuff before i knew the truth. You can't un-love a kid. I'm his dad, and he's my son. I wouldn't have it any other way. I despise his manipulative, lying mother. I think she holds him back.

I was with someone for five years, and during the time we had our issues. Being in a relationship together from the ages of 17-22, we of course had our "off to live life" moments. Well, her and I were giving it our last try. A week after the deed, I noticed the signs of pregnancy and told her to get a test. It was positive. However, she then let me know that before we started to get back together she had been trying to start a family with another man. My father, who had raised my half brother and I so alike that we never knew he wasn't my brother's bio dad, had set an example for me that family is the most important thing in life. So I accepted the fact that I could be a dad, and I was willing to do everything I could do.

After nine months of trying to be there for her while she bounced between the other man and I, her doctor had "advised" her that I was most likely the father of the child. So I became the prominent father to everyone in her life at this point. I was overwhelmed with joy that I would become a father, and I could try to be the best I could be.

A month after the baby was born she wanted to clarify who the father of the baby was, so we took a test. I was holding the child in my arms when I received the email. I looked at the "0%" on the bottom of the results. Devastated, I showed it to her. She replied with "Well, I should tell the other guy". Her mom and I insisted on raising the child without telling him, he had a terrible [dependency on illegal substances], but her idea of a perfect family was both biological parents. So that was the last day I had a daughter.

I went through two terribly depressing years. She would wave the child in my face when she wanted attention and things never worked out between us after that. I always felt like I had done something wrong and that I let the child down. I had to constantly remind myself that even if I felt like she was my child, she wasn't and nothing could ever give that back to me. I'm getting through it with the help of a wonderful new girlfriend and incredible friends, but when a man makes a connection with a child it's the strongest love they will ever feel.

Sorry for the long post, I'm not able to really talk to anyone about this. So it's sat on my heart for two years. Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Not my story, but I feel it should be told in light of all the horrible stories in this thread.

I know a guy who found out his daughter was not his biologically (after raising her for a few years).

He used that as proof in court that the mother was not trustyworth and unfit to be a mother in order to get full custody. He loves her and she is his daughter, not by blood but he is definetly the father and loves her very much.

Two years after my daughter was born, my ex and I had a major falling out over her infidelity and [substance] use. She quickly proved herself completely incapable of taking care of our children. I filed for full custody for both children. My ex flew off the handle, and one day before the hearing, she told me that our daughter wasn’t mine and that if I tried getting full custody, then I would never see her again.

I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab.

My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine.

Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is.

It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.

My brother found out around the time his daughter was 7 or 8. He never told anybody but me and his current wife. She still thinks she's his and he payed every penny of child support until she was 18 even though she lived with him the entire time. My brother is the man I wish i was ethically.

My boyfriend's daughter is not his. He broke his hand on a door when he found out. But he never once denied her. He is on her birth certificate, has his last name the whole nine yards. She is his baby girl and he is her daddy. End of story. His ex wife likes to hold it above his head though "if you don't do xyz I'm getting a DNA test on baby and you'll never see her again." Burns me up!

Not me but my brother. He had always thought his youngest wasn't his biologically. Mainly because his ex is mentally unstable whose true colors came to the fore in their hideous break up. Either way he is a stand up guy and he loves his kids more than anything. Now he couldn't care less if his daughter isn't technically his. Yeah it hurt like [hell] at the time but he is the only thing stand in the way of that crazy wench utterly wrecking these kids lives with her selfish and stupid behaviour. Our whole family is right behind him and will do whatever it takes to support them and him.

My niece didn't ask for this and she will most likely never know. Either way she has a loving father who adores her and an extended family that want to see her grow into a wonderful young woman. My parents were a little bitter about it for a week or so but in the catalog of [trashy] things his ex did getting pregnant by some other dude rates pretty much at the bottom.

Not a man, never been in this situation, but I am the child of one of these situations so I thought I'd chime in.

**TL;DR:** Mom stayed with her husband at first and he is legally my father, but my dad decided he wanted to stay in the picture so my mom eventually married him and I have two dads.

My mom got married when she was 17 and had three sons with her first husband, I'm going to call him Ben. They were together for a long time, I think about 18 years total. Somewhere along the way she realized she was caught in a loveless marriage but couldn't really do anything about it. My dad, who I'll call Dave, moved in across the street and the two of them started spending time together, and she started an affair with him. They weren't careful enough, and next thing you know my mom is pregnant with me.

She knew from the get-go I wasn't Ben's, and he kind of had an idea too because they weren't intimate that often and the math didn't work out, but I think he went along with it just because he didn't want to think about what she was doing behind his back. My dad initially didn't want to have anything to do with me, so when I was born, they put down her husband's name on my birth certificate as the father and called it a day. Paternity tests were done, though, and my mom confirmed what she already knew.

Sorry, around here my details get a little fuzzy because my mom still hasn't given me a full and complete story. Dave still definitely didn't want to stick with my mom and I and it was just agreed that Ben would raise me as his and they would forget it happened. He was and is a great guy and an awesome dad.

Now, the way I've heard it is Dave, despite his convictions, couldn't stay away because he loved my mom so much and once he laid eyes on me he was head over heels. Some of my earliest memories are going to visit him in his apartment. At some point between the time I was 2 and the time I was 3, my mom and Ben divorced. I don't remember it and was kept largely out of it, but I understand it was very messy. Because I was legally Ben's daughter, I got the same visitations as my other brothers who were still under 18. My mom and Dave married when I was four, and Dave was never happy about these visits, but I was because I loved Ben so much. Ben was always "Daddy," Dave was "Dad." It was understood and I never confused the two or made reference to one being my parent in front of the other, even as a 4 and 5 year old I knew the sensitive nature of the situation.

It was never confusing, either, because they really are two very different people who I think provided me with a great balance of paternal figures in my life. Like I said, Ben was always "Daddy." Sweet, endearing, with a heart of gold who just wanted his little girl to be happy and would spoil her rotten to see her smile and make stupid jokes to get a giggle out of her. Dave was "Dad." Still kind and loved me to death, but more of the disciplinarian who I knew not to mess with. My mom's not married to either of them now (another long-winded story entirely) but I consider both of them to be my father and I consider both of them to have done the best job they could have, and I think I turned out alright.

This isn't my story but I feel it needs to be noted here.

Seven years ago my cousin married a lovely girl, she got pregnant and they bought a house, fully committed to preparing it for their kid. She died due to complications during childbirth, the kid (Amy) survived. My cousin spent the next years of his life doing everything possible to be able to provide for his daughter while still being a father, he used to work evening/night shifts and then take a few naps across the day.

Two years ago it became apparently that while Amy shared features from her mother, she didn't share features from my cousin. He had a paternity test done, negative. He hasn't told her and we have no idea who the real father might be but those who have been told (me, his sister, my mother) have agreed that it doesn't matter.

We're still actively looking into it, just in case a potential medical issue or something. I don't expect that she'll be told until she is either old enough to understand or old enough to notice the difference. I've been the "investigator" and I gotta be honest, I'm really starting to dislike Amy's mother.

When I was in the Navy I had an on again off again relationship with a girl back home. On my last deployment my girlfriend told me via email that she was knocked up; I accepted it, emailed my parents, told the military all that jazz. I ended up getting discharged so I went back home and took care of "my" pregnant girlfriend. She had the baby and I thought I was the father for five months. While she was on vacation with a "girlfriend". While she was gone I got an email from her boyfriend telling me that they had been together for the last four months and also for the week in Myrtle Beach I was bank rolling. After that I got the paternity test found out it wasn't mine and told her I was done and wanted no contact. [Sad] part is my parents still babysit and treat the kid like their grandkid, so she's at a lot of family functions and such. Also the guy wasn't even the father.

I had a fiance, we were supposed to be getting married. Then she went on a holiday by herself because "She just needed to get away".

She came back pregnant..... to an unemployed [illegal substances] user. I had a job and an apartment. She told me "You've never done anything to prove you really loved me ... now's your chance. Accept me and the baby."

No thanks. Last I heard of her she's an unmarried mother of two...

Words cannot describe how horrified and devastated and furious I was at my ex wife.

I maintained my good relationship with my son even though he wasn't biologically mine. I still raised him and I can't hold his mother's disgraceful behaviour against him.

His mother however, I divorced her shortly after finding out the truth and have never spoken to her again outside of mandatory talks about legal issues.

This happened to a really good friend of mine. He was a teenager at the time, getting ready to go to university for his first time. Broke up with his ex who came to him a few weeks later and told him she was pregnant and that it was his. He immediately accepted it and dropped out of university before he even started it. Got a full time job, took care of her all through her pregnancy and got everything they needed for when the baby arrived. He was even in the delivery room when the baby was born. Upon the birth, his ex waivered and asked for a paternity test. All this time, the kid wasn't even his. He stuck around for about a month before he realised that this wasn't his burden to bear and re-enrolled in university. He just picked up where he left off and basically got on with life.

Well. I can say from it happening to me, learning your child is not your child is pretty much the worst news you can get

My story: We suffered from fertility issues and did all the treatments for months, and after many inseminations she was pregnant…. And she starts acting very odd about many things out of nowhere that I chalked up to her hormones. But still very odd behavior

We have a baby boy. Healthy and all seems well with him but she’s acting odd still.

Over the next 5 years she works endlessly to keep a wedge between my boy and I. As if our forming a relationship is a bad thing.

We separate over many problems. And then I get the news from her : he’s not your boy and she requests dna as part of the divorce action. And it’s confined I’m not the father and it’s a friend of mine., who now wants to be with her and their child. I was ordered to stay away from their kid as a minor and no obligation for child support

In a blink: 5 years of life, memories, being called dad and my main man are gone. I have no legal rights and I have to stay away or else

The first few years I just drank ALOT to hide the pain. Holidays sucked, everything sucked until one day I had enough and got a really good therapist to talk to

Several years later; I consider myself lucky to have been a dad and I’ll always miss my boy and pray for him every day to have a great life. I also talk with others who are having a bad day with their kids to say to them: you should cherish each second as it can suddenly vanish one day without you knowing or say

The pain will never go away, it just becomes tolerable when it comes to holidays. You learn to smile at the little things and laugh looking back at those times

I hope for my ex. She finds the peace she was looking for and provides my boy a great life.

This happened to my best friend. Yet he loves his son so much, I can't even express it in words. It's as if the news actually united them *more* in an everlasting bond of love than if he had been the boy's biological father. They *need* one another, in the best sense - and all our friends witness this truth and depth of commitment.

Yeah, I pretty much knew that three of my daughters were not biologically mine.

I found out a lot about my wife at that time.

The hard part was handling her betrayal.

I never gave the kids any reason to believe that I was not their dad. I love them. All of them. They are children and there is no reason not to treat them well. They were innocent in all this.

I would have stayed with my wife. I believe that children are better of with a full set of parents.

My wife at that time could not handle what she did. She eventually sought the divorce.

But there is no way I would have. I mean, I would never have slept with her again, but I would not have let the kids know things were bad.

I knew that my father wasn't actually my biological father before he did. My mom thought I should know first, and she had planned to tell him shortly after me, but due to a work trip he went on, I knew for about a week before he did. Mom told me that she had a one-night stand with a dude while she was dating my dad. He thought the baby was his, so she went with it. The problem was, she didn't tell me he didn't know, so I asked him how he was holding up on a phone call. It was pretty hard to explain it to him myself, I mean, I couldn't just give him a cliffhanger like that for such a huge announcement like that. Later that week, my neighbor accidentally set himself on fire. Mom and dad mutually decided to divorce since she basically cheated on him. It's not really different between him and I, I still love him like my real dad.

Found out from her best friend it wasn't mine, my parents made me believe I was doing the right thing the whole time. I kicked her out of the house never heard from her since.