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The author of the thread, redditor u/_Red_User_, told Bored Panda that the idea to ask the question on Reddit came to them when they were learning new facts about their and their partner’s gender in a relationship.
"I was asking myself what others never knew before," the OP told us, adding that they weren't expecting the discussion to get as much attention as it did.
"I think there are many assumptions about women that are not true in the end. Some of those might scare some men. But in the end, they are true for some women but not all," the redditor said.
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In the thread author's opinion, men and women can sometimes communicate differently, and it's important to embrace and celebrate these differences.
Case in point, redditor u/_Red_User_ pointed out that many men rush to ‘solve’ their partners’ problems when they should instead consider actively listening to them and simply hearing them out.
“Women sometimes just want to complain, whereas men tend to think logically. If she has a problem, she might expect some [comments like] ‘it’s terrible’ and ‘not your fault’ or something. He instead might think about a solution when she is not interested in solving the issue."
The OP urged all couples to talk to each other, not just about other people. "Don't make assumptions, but talk with each other about issues." The redditor noted that some couples also face social pressure from their friends. However, just because the people around you think a certain way doesn't mean it's the truth.
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“You never know the thoughts and intentions of your partner, so don’t guess but talk,” they told Bored Panda.
According to u/_Red_User_, people should never judge another couple's lifestyle. They explained that, in their opinion, nobody should be forced to do something just because of their gender.
"It's wrong to say women have to work or they have to stay at home. Some women prefer a and some b. And some do both. It’s great if men want to (and can) provide enough money so their partner has no need to work and can spend time with [the] kids. But there shouldn't be a duty to stay at home or be forbidden to work. Equally, the man can stay at home if both [partners] want that."
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Like it or not, most of us have a public persona (or a few), as well as a private one. We behave slightly differently depending on who we’re interacting with. So we might act one way at the office. We’re someone slightly different in front of our friends. We probably wouldn’t speak to our parents the way we did with our pals or coworkers. And we’re someone else entirely when we’re trying to impress someone.
However, slowly, we let our guard down around people. It takes time and trust to do so, but we let them in. If they’re special enough, we show them what we’re like when we’re alone, without any pretense.
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That raw image of what we’re like when nobody’s around can gently shock people, even if they behave similarly in their own private lives. This reaction can be at least partly explained by the expectations that people place on their partners when they first start dating.
They might start idealizing them and putting them on a pedestal. Focusing on other people’s positive qualities can be a good thing, but it can be very unhealthy if you completely ignore their negative aspects as well. If you hype yourself up over dating someone, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
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For one, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because you will eventually realize that they’re not a ‘perfect’ partner or human being (nobody is). On the flip side, you’re also adding a ton of pressure on your date to behave a certain way. It can be very frustrating when you feel forced to live up to someone’s impossibly high expectations. It’s good to have standards, but keep your expectations somewhat realistic!
Meanwhile, if you want to learn more about your partner, there is no better alternative than open and honest communication. You won’t form a deep connection with them if you’re not willing to talk about the mundane stuff and their quirks, not just exciting global topics and other people.
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