Being curious about the world isn’t a sin. In fact, it’s a great thing if you’ve got a growth-oriented mindset and constantly push the boundaries of your knowledge about science, psychology, history, etc. That being said, certain topics are a bit more sensitive than others.
Not everyone, no matter who they are, can find the courage to ask the questions they really want to get to the bottom of. However, anonymity can protect you from a lot of that embarrassment. The women of the internet took to two discussions on AskReddit to finally ask men the delicate questions they’ve always wanted to hear the answers to. Scroll down for a whole bunch of honesty and—hopefully—to learn something new.
Bored Panda reached out to u/Emil_Jorgensen05, who sparked one of these interesting discussions for their thoughts on curiosity, anonymity, and learning. You'll find our interview with them below.
#21
What kind of surprise would you like from a significant other ? I rarely see any articles on this and the only things are sexual in nature.
NewBeginningRS3:
A piece of clothing. A jumper, comfy socks or something else that's warm would remind me of that person everytime I put them on.
SizzledPickle:
Just my girlfriend laying her head on my shoulder as I hold her is nice. It doesn't happen as often as it does in movies apparently.
Unbridled_Sloth:
The only thing I can really think of is like me discovering that they have been doing research and learning about something that only Im interested in so that it's something we can share. That would be such a genuinely touching and emotional discovery.
NewBeginningRS3:
A piece of clothing. A jumper, comfy socks or something else that's warm would remind me of that person everytime I put them on.
SizzledPickle:
Just my girlfriend laying her head on my shoulder as I hold her is nice. It doesn't happen as often as it does in movies apparently.
Unbridled_Sloth:
The only thing I can really think of is like me discovering that they have been doing research and learning about something that only Im interested in so that it's something we can share. That would be such a genuinely touching and emotional discovery.
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30points
#22
If you’ve had relatively short hair throughout your life, do you ever want to really grow it out so you can tie it up and whatnot?
Stropi-wan:
No,I get irritated when my hair is getting too long. For me it is physically uncomfortable.
Stropi-wan:
No,I get irritated when my hair is getting too long. For me it is physically uncomfortable.
28points
#23
Do you guys think that toxic masculinity is real? If so, are you guilty of it or do you show all of your emotions in healthy ways?
Edit: I'm obviously not a guy lol, so I don't know toxic masculinity as well as literal guys
rippleman:
I think toxic masculinity is real, but not in the way women think, largely because most women don't understand the experience of being a man, and then tried to accurately describe it.
A lot of it comes down to men feeling disenfranchised from not being able to meet the impossible standards put upon them.
Be sensitive, but also be stoic on command. Be masculine, but only as masculine as we want. If you're as masculine as you want and we don't like it, then you're the wrong one and you need to change everything. Chase your dreams, but only if it can pay for a family and kids. Make all the moves in dating, but if you're too aggressive based on a sliding, randomly changing scale, you're the problem.
Is acting out violently or not getting consent wrong and justly punished? Absolutely. But that's the fault of individuals and men as a whole are blamed for it.
Men are, on average (and there is nothing wrong with differing), more aggressive, more competitive, more object driven, and less emotional. This is genetic, but we're being treated like we should suddenly be able to act like women, but also only when it's convenient for society. 78% of suicides are men for a reason. That being said, there is likely a strong social component to the genetic reason why men commit and are the victims of most non-sexual crimes, and are the perpetrators of almost all sexual crime.
It's a hard line to tow in figuring out where that line is in order to protect society from the worst manhood has to offer, while not placing incredible double standards on our shoulder. Finally, some people just suck. They suck more when their gender is genetically predisposed to higher levels of aggression and antisocial behavior out of the gate. Unfortunately, we are generally capable of producing worse outcomes for people with the same level of emotional dysfunction because of our genetics.
And while we're on it, you'd better not be gay or bi, either, because that would be not masculine most of the time. I'm still working on the shame from that.
Now, if only we could lower the double standards for both genders, I think we'd find toxic behavior from men and women go down in general. Life sucks. It sucks more when were working against each other.
Edit: I'm obviously not a guy lol, so I don't know toxic masculinity as well as literal guys
rippleman:
I think toxic masculinity is real, but not in the way women think, largely because most women don't understand the experience of being a man, and then tried to accurately describe it.
A lot of it comes down to men feeling disenfranchised from not being able to meet the impossible standards put upon them.
Be sensitive, but also be stoic on command. Be masculine, but only as masculine as we want. If you're as masculine as you want and we don't like it, then you're the wrong one and you need to change everything. Chase your dreams, but only if it can pay for a family and kids. Make all the moves in dating, but if you're too aggressive based on a sliding, randomly changing scale, you're the problem.
Is acting out violently or not getting consent wrong and justly punished? Absolutely. But that's the fault of individuals and men as a whole are blamed for it.
Men are, on average (and there is nothing wrong with differing), more aggressive, more competitive, more object driven, and less emotional. This is genetic, but we're being treated like we should suddenly be able to act like women, but also only when it's convenient for society. 78% of suicides are men for a reason. That being said, there is likely a strong social component to the genetic reason why men commit and are the victims of most non-sexual crimes, and are the perpetrators of almost all sexual crime.
It's a hard line to tow in figuring out where that line is in order to protect society from the worst manhood has to offer, while not placing incredible double standards on our shoulder. Finally, some people just suck. They suck more when their gender is genetically predisposed to higher levels of aggression and antisocial behavior out of the gate. Unfortunately, we are generally capable of producing worse outcomes for people with the same level of emotional dysfunction because of our genetics.
And while we're on it, you'd better not be gay or bi, either, because that would be not masculine most of the time. I'm still working on the shame from that.
Now, if only we could lower the double standards for both genders, I think we'd find toxic behavior from men and women go down in general. Life sucks. It sucks more when were working against each other.
Report
28points
#24
A lot of men seem to have/had a lack of self-confidence and seem to think they are not good enough to have a girlfriend. Who put this idea in your head? When have you been able to see that you were like everyone else and that was a good thing?
GrandElemental:
It doesn't have to be "society" or a person, but it can also come from a lifetime of failure in the pursuit of romantic relationships.
Get rejected once, it hurts but you get over it eventually.
Get rejected five times, stings but at least you learned something.
Ten times, now it starts to get into you, something is clearly not right.
Twenty+ times, yeah, I guess it's time to just take the hint and leave it be, clearly love is not for me.
That will happen to some of us, and at some point you will cut your losses and just accept you are unlovable.
GrandElemental:
It doesn't have to be "society" or a person, but it can also come from a lifetime of failure in the pursuit of romantic relationships.
Get rejected once, it hurts but you get over it eventually.
Get rejected five times, stings but at least you learned something.
Ten times, now it starts to get into you, something is clearly not right.
Twenty+ times, yeah, I guess it's time to just take the hint and leave it be, clearly love is not for me.
That will happen to some of us, and at some point you will cut your losses and just accept you are unlovable.
27points
#25
Would you like some help c*****g firewood for this winter?
TreeOfReckoning:
No. That's my time to be alone with my thoughts.
TreeOfReckoning:
No. That's my time to be alone with my thoughts.
27points
#26
What seemingly normal/innocent thing does your lady do that secretly turns you on or melts you into a puddle?
going2leavethishere:
Hug from behind.
carsonnwells:
sits on my lap
diola383:
Back/head tickles.
going2leavethishere:
Hug from behind.
carsonnwells:
sits on my lap
diola383:
Back/head tickles.
Report
27points
#27
How can I be a better partner to my husband?
TheNewHobbes:
Initiate s*x. If the bloke always has to start it can end up feeling like begging.
Given that, sometimes we don't want s*x, don't take it personally,
Give him time for peace and quiet, he's not rejecting you if he doesn't want to spend all the time with you,
If we say we were thinking of nothing it's a lie. We were probably thinking of scoring the winning touchdown / goal, some computer game we're playing or how to mix marshmallows with hydrogen so they float.
TheNewHobbes:
Initiate s*x. If the bloke always has to start it can end up feeling like begging.
Given that, sometimes we don't want s*x, don't take it personally,
Give him time for peace and quiet, he's not rejecting you if he doesn't want to spend all the time with you,
If we say we were thinking of nothing it's a lie. We were probably thinking of scoring the winning touchdown / goal, some computer game we're playing or how to mix marshmallows with hydrogen so they float.
26points
#28
Why are guys ashamed to be the little spoon?
imperialjak:
Find better guys, jetpack life is best life.
nolo_me:
Not ashamed, just find it less comfortable because I'm taller. Feels like my spine is trying to compress to make room for her to bring her knees up.
imperialjak:
Find better guys, jetpack life is best life.
nolo_me:
Not ashamed, just find it less comfortable because I'm taller. Feels like my spine is trying to compress to make room for her to bring her knees up.
26points
#29
For the married men with little kids running around in their lives now, how to you view your wife's changing? Body wise, partner wise, mother wise, etc? Before and after?
anon:
3 kids under 3.
Body Wise: Hawt. She birthed our children, some things got bigger, some things got smaller, some things got stretched out. But overall, the fact that her body brought life to children that I can call my own is real sexy, IMO.
Partner wise: It's a little crazy. We don't have as much time for each other as we had before. She has become a hugely protective mother, which I think causes her much stress and anxiety at times. There are many times that I feel that I am last in line in her life, but we talk about it and are always able to reel each other back in. It's part of this stage of life. Keeping a healthy relationship with so many distractions takes a lot of work. We do however communicate a lot better/more since we started having children. Before kids we both just kind of did our own thing, while keeping a very loving and supportive household. Having the children has forced us to have some disagreements, and to work through them. I think that's a good thing.
Mother wise: She's a fantastic mother and loves our children immensely. It's really a trip to watch her be a mom. We were pretty wishy washy about having kids when we first got married, but we are both extremely glad that we have them now.
anon:
3 kids under 3.
Body Wise: Hawt. She birthed our children, some things got bigger, some things got smaller, some things got stretched out. But overall, the fact that her body brought life to children that I can call my own is real sexy, IMO.
Partner wise: It's a little crazy. We don't have as much time for each other as we had before. She has become a hugely protective mother, which I think causes her much stress and anxiety at times. There are many times that I feel that I am last in line in her life, but we talk about it and are always able to reel each other back in. It's part of this stage of life. Keeping a healthy relationship with so many distractions takes a lot of work. We do however communicate a lot better/more since we started having children. Before kids we both just kind of did our own thing, while keeping a very loving and supportive household. Having the children has forced us to have some disagreements, and to work through them. I think that's a good thing.
Mother wise: She's a fantastic mother and loves our children immensely. It's really a trip to watch her be a mom. We were pretty wishy washy about having kids when we first got married, but we are both extremely glad that we have them now.
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26points
#30
Is it true that you can completely separate “just friendship” from “love” when having a friend with benefits for a long period of time?
Broer1:
I think this depends heavily on the person and can fit for all gender.
I tried and failed ;-)
Broer1:
I think this depends heavily on the person and can fit for all gender.
I tried and failed ;-)
25points
#31
I never feel like I get a sincere answer when I ask this: Deep deep down inside, do you feel smarter, stronger, better, or generally superior to women?
VanillaThunder20:
No. But I do have this stereotypical belief that I have to take care of women, that I have to be stronger, more capable, and better at figuring their problems out. It's not that I actually think women are inferior, just that they want me to be superior in all those ways.
VanillaThunder20:
No. But I do have this stereotypical belief that I have to take care of women, that I have to be stronger, more capable, and better at figuring their problems out. It's not that I actually think women are inferior, just that they want me to be superior in all those ways.
24points
#32
Why don't you talk to your friends when you pee? I talk with my friends when I pee. Why can't you?
MrMethamphetamine:
It feels weird to talk to your friends while holding your p**is.
MrMethamphetamine:
It feels weird to talk to your friends while holding your p**is.
Report
23points
#33
How uncomfortable is it to ride a bike?
Rhoam_Photography:
The junk tend to hang out over the front of the seat when sitting on the chair and is unaffected when riding standing up.
Rhoam_Photography:
The junk tend to hang out over the front of the seat when sitting on the chair and is unaffected when riding standing up.
Report
22points
#34
Can we just have a pure friendship /plantonic relationship? Is it possible for men?
Rhoam_Photography:
Yeah but it can be very easy to receive mixed messages. It can be brutal but I prefer when I hear a girl friend say they have an SO or are actively seeking out someone other than me because it makes the relationship easier. It’s the worst when you think a girl is in to you and you start trying to put the moves on only to be told off by an unmentioned boyfriend. Makes it real hard to maintain the friendship afterwards aswell.
Rhoam_Photography:
Yeah but it can be very easy to receive mixed messages. It can be brutal but I prefer when I hear a girl friend say they have an SO or are actively seeking out someone other than me because it makes the relationship easier. It’s the worst when you think a girl is in to you and you start trying to put the moves on only to be told off by an unmentioned boyfriend. Makes it real hard to maintain the friendship afterwards aswell.
22points
#35
Though bluntness and/or "beating around the bush" is a preference, which approach do you guys prefer?
anon:
I would prefer being up and honest about it. If I get a no, I get a no.
Issue is, I don't think women want that.
anon:
I would prefer being up and honest about it. If I get a no, I get a no.
Issue is, I don't think women want that.
22points
#36
Can you tell when our hair is frizzy and has split ends?
anon:
Split ends? No, I have no idea what they even look like.
It also has to be VERY frizzy for me to notice it, and I still won't care in the slightest.
anon:
Split ends? No, I have no idea what they even look like.
It also has to be VERY frizzy for me to notice it, and I still won't care in the slightest.
Report
22points
#37
OK, here's a gross one, which I've never asked anybody.
A woman sits down on the toilet, does #1 and then #2, usually in that order, wipes and flushes.
A guy, what do you do? P**s first, then turn around and sit down for #2? Or #2 first, then p**s while contemplating your #2s?
Ask_Me_If_Im_Racist:
We sit, do both. Usually #1 is easier so that goes first. Then #2. Then wipe. Then another 10 minutes of Reddit on the toilet.
A woman sits down on the toilet, does #1 and then #2, usually in that order, wipes and flushes.
A guy, what do you do? P**s first, then turn around and sit down for #2? Or #2 first, then p**s while contemplating your #2s?
Ask_Me_If_Im_Racist:
We sit, do both. Usually #1 is easier so that goes first. Then #2. Then wipe. Then another 10 minutes of Reddit on the toilet.
Report
22points
#38
Have you ever seriously liked your good friend's girlfriend/ wife etc? What happened because of it?
jrf_1973:
Nothing ever happened, because it's against the bro-code. But it has happened, and the best you can do is then just stay away until it goes away.
jrf_1973:
Nothing ever happened, because it's against the bro-code. But it has happened, and the best you can do is then just stay away until it goes away.
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22points
#39
What is your preferred way to express your emotions? Sad, happy, upset, angry ect.
(My brother has a hard time crying when hes sad so he goes for a long walk to 'deal' with the emotional issue)
Geoclasm:
i don't.
it's a real problem.
basically, i dig a hole in my mind and just f**king bury them.
it's not some sort of "ugh, me man, no have feelings" mentality, but a "there's nothing anyone can do about this s**t. everyone has their own problems to deal with, and they don't need me adding to them with my head full of issues."
(My brother has a hard time crying when hes sad so he goes for a long walk to 'deal' with the emotional issue)
Geoclasm:
i don't.
it's a real problem.
basically, i dig a hole in my mind and just f**king bury them.
it's not some sort of "ugh, me man, no have feelings" mentality, but a "there's nothing anyone can do about this s**t. everyone has their own problems to deal with, and they don't need me adding to them with my head full of issues."
21points
#40
How often do guys actually think about s*x? I doubt the old "six seconds" thing.
anon:
There's no time intervals. It's just whenever we're bored with nothing else to do.
anon:
There's no time intervals. It's just whenever we're bored with nothing else to do.
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21points