Doctors and nurses see hundreds of patients every single week, and most appointments eventually fade from memory. But every now and then, a patient comes along who breaks the pattern.
For example, a doctor said he will never forget the 96-year-old man who still hits the gym multiple days a week and jumps rope like a teenager. A nurse recalled helping a hospitalized woman who acted like the fashion police, refusing to rest until her outfit was fixed and properly accessorized.
These and many other patient interactions were recently shared online, proving that it isn’t always complex medical cases that stay with medical professionals. Sometimes, it’s the funny, bizarre, and inspiring moments as well.
Scroll through to read some of the best anecdotes that show there is so much more to doctor-patient relationships.
#41
Helped an old lady to the washroom when I was a student. She was constipated, reached her hand down and physically removed the t**d from her a*s. She looked up at me and said “when you’re sitting at the dinner table and your family asks what you learned today you can tell them about this.”
I told them about it.
I told them about it.
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4points
#42
One of my favorites was an older gentleman (late 80's) who had a coude catheter with dementia. Everytime I would explain the procedure for changing the catheter, and he would fist bump me and say "let's get this $h!& done! We can do this!" Mind you, he hated changes, but I always told him it went so well last time that he wanted me to change it again and he stayed positive.
It was the first bump....it was like he was hyping himself up.
It was the first bump....it was like he was hyping himself up.
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4points
#43
Not really an embarrassing accident, but the lady was pretty embarrassed.
As a medical student we are required to ask about s****l history when interview patients. Short version below.
"Mr/Mrs X, are you currently s******y active?" He/She replies with, "yes." I ask, "can you describe the type of s*x you are having? How many people, the types you are having, men/women both?" They look at me and say "well, I am a part of an association." In my head I was like, what is she talking about?
That was the day I learned all about o****s. And apparently some call their group an "association.".
As a medical student we are required to ask about s****l history when interview patients. Short version below.
"Mr/Mrs X, are you currently s******y active?" He/She replies with, "yes." I ask, "can you describe the type of s*x you are having? How many people, the types you are having, men/women both?" They look at me and say "well, I am a part of an association." In my head I was like, what is she talking about?
That was the day I learned all about o****s. And apparently some call their group an "association.".
4points
#44
It's not so much an embarrassing story as a straight up lie.
I'm a lab tech at a small hospital so we do both the blood collection and the blood testing. I had this patient who told me that they had been following their doctors orders and had been working on getting their blood sugars lower. Their fasting glucose went with their story, but their glucose A1C value (which tell us the glucose value over the last 3 months) over was through the roof. Yeah right you were following his orders.
You can't trick the A1C.
I'm a lab tech at a small hospital so we do both the blood collection and the blood testing. I had this patient who told me that they had been following their doctors orders and had been working on getting their blood sugars lower. Their fasting glucose went with their story, but their glucose A1C value (which tell us the glucose value over the last 3 months) over was through the roof. Yeah right you were following his orders.
You can't trick the A1C.
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4points
#45
A patient was trying to escape the hospital in DTs. Security wasn’t doing anything so I chased him to the first floor and hauled him up myself. He punched me in the stomach and I got a pretty good bruise. I’m pretty proud of that bruise. If he had made it off the property he probably would have seized and d**d.
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4points
#46
I had lovely patient that was admitted for induction for preeclampsia. It was her first baby. I admitted her in the afternoon and then had her back the next morning. Things were ramping up labor wise & we were also starting a magnesium drip (iykyk) for her worsening preeclampsia.
She was in pain from contractions, hot and sweaty from the mag, overwhelmed from both, starting to lose control a little bit.. she looked me d**d in the eye and said ‘Tinatac, remember the person I was yesterday.’
It just cracked me up. She was great.
She was in pain from contractions, hot and sweaty from the mag, overwhelmed from both, starting to lose control a little bit.. she looked me d**d in the eye and said ‘Tinatac, remember the person I was yesterday.’
It just cracked me up. She was great.
3points
#47
This is probably one of my favorite mechanisms of injury a patient has told me. I had a m******d who looked like he lived in a gym tell me his shoulder hurt. I asked him how he hurt it, assuming he did it while exercising. Nope. He paused for a second and was clearly embarrassed. Then he told me he thinks he pulled a muscle while apple picking with his girlfriend. We both had a laugh.
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3points
#48
I read about this tale in the Canadian doctor humor magazine "Stitches".
A doc was working on a navy ship, and a sailor came to see him after shore leave. The sailor had his head hung, avoiding eye contact, and shuffled in... The doctor immediately recognized the look of a patient with an STD picked up while on leave.
The doctor was momentarily taken aback, when he asked the man "what seems to be the problem?", and the man responded "I have a problem with my foot."
"Oh? What's wrong with your foot?"
"My d**k keeps dripping on it.".
A doc was working on a navy ship, and a sailor came to see him after shore leave. The sailor had his head hung, avoiding eye contact, and shuffled in... The doctor immediately recognized the look of a patient with an STD picked up while on leave.
The doctor was momentarily taken aback, when he asked the man "what seems to be the problem?", and the man responded "I have a problem with my foot."
"Oh? What's wrong with your foot?"
"My d**k keeps dripping on it.".
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3points
#49
Obligatory not a doctor, but this is my friend's dad's favorite story (He was an ER doc): There was a frat house that had a pet alligator in a large aquarium. (I'm sure this was against their university's policy, but that's besides the point.) One drunken frat boy for whatever reason decided to get in the tank with the gator, n***d. The gator apparently didn't take too well to this and bit him in a rather sensitive area. He was too embarrassed to explain the source of his injury to a doctor so he waited three days and by then it had become infected. I believe the guy now qualifies for a Darwin Award...
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3points
#50
Was working at a pharmacy as a first year intern when I get one of my first phone calls for medical advice. It was a man's voice, quite and shaky, like he was super nervous.
He started by asking about how to know if you have a yeast infection. I was really confused, because men rarely get yeast infections, I figured he was calling for his wife.
I was taught to always ask as many questions as possible to get the whole picture. Well, I asked why he thought he had a yeast infection...
After a really uncomfortably long pause he tried his best to explain that when his d**k got hard and all the skin skin started stretching, it got really red and burned a lot.
He then went on to explain that his wife had a yeast infection, but convinced him that it was impossible for him to catch it...
So I laid it on him, "this is a pharmacy man, I can't help you... Sorry"
He quickly got off the phone with instructions to call a physician.
He started by asking about how to know if you have a yeast infection. I was really confused, because men rarely get yeast infections, I figured he was calling for his wife.
I was taught to always ask as many questions as possible to get the whole picture. Well, I asked why he thought he had a yeast infection...
After a really uncomfortably long pause he tried his best to explain that when his d**k got hard and all the skin skin started stretching, it got really red and burned a lot.
He then went on to explain that his wife had a yeast infection, but convinced him that it was impossible for him to catch it...
So I laid it on him, "this is a pharmacy man, I can't help you... Sorry"
He quickly got off the phone with instructions to call a physician.
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3points
#51
Dude came into the ER with a razor broken off in his a*s. Said he fell while shaving his beard and landed on it.
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3points
#52
I had a patient once who my team was discharging to the rehab hospital literally across the street. I received a call late that afternoon from the rehab hospital that he never showed up. After some investigation we learn that the case manager called him an uber, and when he got in he told them to take him home so they did. He came back to the ER like a week later because his symptoms were worsening.
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2points
#53
I’m female and was holding an elderly lady’s hand to make sure she didn’t fall as we walked in the hallway and she turned to me and said “you know… you’re really not my type”. I laughed and said, “that’s ok, you’re not mine either”.
Another story, we had to straight cath a combative elderly woman (there were 5 of us assisting) and she looks me d**d in the eyes and told me “you’re so full of sins you can’t even look yourself in the mirror”.
A coworker answered a shower call light and walked into a pt getting head and the patient follows up with “don’t worry, she doesn’t have any teeth”.
Another story, we had to straight cath a combative elderly woman (there were 5 of us assisting) and she looks me d**d in the eyes and told me “you’re so full of sins you can’t even look yourself in the mirror”.
A coworker answered a shower call light and walked into a pt getting head and the patient follows up with “don’t worry, she doesn’t have any teeth”.
2points
#54
Oh man I’m probably too late for this to be seen by anyone but I worked in a pain management clinic for many years. Any patient who was to receive a prescription o****d had to pass an initial urine d**g screen. This one female patient came up positive for m**h. Her defense was: “Oh yeah. I don’t do it, but my boyfriend does and I swallow a LOT of his s***n.”.
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2points
#55
I asked this question to a nurse I worked with a few years ago. She said her favorite one was this guy that came in with a cucumber stuck in his a*s. He told the doctor he fell on it while gardening. Of course, the next question was why he was gardening n***d. He didn't have an answer. Apparently, this guy was more worried about his wife finding out about it than the actually injury itself.
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2points
#56
Knocked myself out and split my forehead open requiring 7 stitches by hitting myself in the head with a ratchet while working on a muscle car working in a hot rod shop. Was pretty embarrassing rocking up to the emergency room with my boss while he tried to contain his laughter as I told the check in nurse what had happened. Moral of the story, never pull something toward your forehead while working under a car.
Edit: It was also right between my eyes, still have a noticeable scar and have to explain how I got it at least once a fortnight.
Edit: It was also right between my eyes, still have a noticeable scar and have to explain how I got it at least once a fortnight.
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2points
#57
Without question it was the priest with a Brut bottle stuck in his sigmoid colon. When pressed for an explanation he said " I fell". To which a young idiot me replied "that must have been a very accurate fall father"....
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2points
#58
Radiographer here (Xray guy). Too many to tell stories but people come in with dildos up the a*s more than you think. Men and women.
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2points
#59
I got called out to an "entrapped person " when we got there the guy had his d**k stuck in one of the holes on the side of a laundry basket.. he said he was doing laundry when he fell and it got stuck in... right... we believe you....
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2points
#60
I actually have loads, I worked in neurosurgery as a nurse and my patients were amazing.
We had one guy with us for months, he kept having problems with shunts so he would go to theatres and have a quick stay in either ICU or NHDU then come back to my ward. He would always have a couple of days when he would do well then he'd either pull out his EVD (he was incredibly strong and even with two people holding his arms he still managed to pull it out) or it would block. So the tenth time this happens he's not doing well prior to surgery but we go through the same dance as usual and when he returns to the ward he's actually doing a lot better but I can't convince the surgeon as he would pretend not to have improved in front of him. Then after a week of this the surgeon came over and asked how things were (to me) and the patient responded and then he just kept on improving. On Xmas day he engaged in a full conversation and fed himself and he got sent to a specialist rehabilitation unit not long after.
We had one guy with us for months, he kept having problems with shunts so he would go to theatres and have a quick stay in either ICU or NHDU then come back to my ward. He would always have a couple of days when he would do well then he'd either pull out his EVD (he was incredibly strong and even with two people holding his arms he still managed to pull it out) or it would block. So the tenth time this happens he's not doing well prior to surgery but we go through the same dance as usual and when he returns to the ward he's actually doing a lot better but I can't convince the surgeon as he would pretend not to have improved in front of him. Then after a week of this the surgeon came over and asked how things were (to me) and the patient responded and then he just kept on improving. On Xmas day he engaged in a full conversation and fed himself and he got sent to a specialist rehabilitation unit not long after.
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2points