I kept my surname when I got married many years ago. I’d already made a name for myself in my career and also, I didn’t see why my entire identity (and all my official documents) had to change simply because someone put a ring on my finger. My then-husband was completely cool with it, but of course, not everyone shared his open-minded ways of thinking.
Historically, women changed their surnames upon marriage because, under English common law and in a patriarchal society, they “belonged” to their husbands. Nowadays, many still do, but for different reasons. And then there are those who buck tradition and hold onto the names they were born with.
Someone asked married women to share their reasons for keeping or not keeping their maiden names, and some of the answers may surprise you. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best. You’ll find that below, along with some info on where this tradition of taking someone else's name really comes from.
#21
Um did you see how much paper work that was? I said to him, I don’t mind changing my name, but you’re going to have to all this paper work. SO THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
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11points
#22
As an immigrant, it felt like I was erasing that part of myself. Also I’m in my PhD and it would have been confusing with publications
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10points
#23
people only change it because of the patriarchy. people can say otherwise, but if it was never introduced to us, how many would honestly even think of it?
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10points
#24
It's a lot to change legally and I love my name, it's who I am. My identity, my family. My husband has never cared or wanted me to change it.
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10points
#25
my last name is just too cool to give up, Rainbolt is also super easily recognized even if i haven’t seen that person in ages
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10points
#26
We got married in 2021 and so the social security office still had covid measures. They wanted me to mail in sensitive documents and I wasn’t comfortable with it.
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10points
#27
I got married not adopted. I also already have one man’s name stamped on me, my father’s, and I didn’t want a second one. Instead I pronounce my original name differently from my Dad. It helps
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10points
#28
I wont cause his name is too long and I like saying that I’m related to Marvin Gaye.
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10points
#29
because i’m hispanic and he’s white, i like my hispanic last name and didn’t want a white person last name
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9points
#30
I didn’t want to change mine, so we took each others names. The double-barrel name confuses everyone but I’m happy with it!
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8points
#31
I just want all of my titles to have my own name accompany them (officer ______, for example)
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8points
#32
I’ve been my name for my whole life, why would I change it for a man? (and I love my husband a whole whole lot) Plus I have professional licenses on top of all of the other typical paperwork so I’m sure not going to do all that work to change something I’d rather not.
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8points
#33
I was never interested in changing my name due to paperwork and now I’m married to a man from a culture where women changing their name upon marriage is not the norm (as being married doesn’t change who your father is)
8points
#35
I was really excited to change my name. I am not contact with my birth parents and had a lot of trauma so having thr last name of someone who loves me was a definite improvement 😅💜
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7points
#36
my name means too much to me. I never had any intention of changing my name. my now husband, when we were dating asked me how I felt about him changing his last name to mine. I hadn't told him yet I never intended on changing my name 💕
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7points
#37
Mostly lazy and hate paper work lol husband also didn’t want me to change it. He knows me by my last name as “my name” and didnt want it to change to his just bc we were married. Also only child and it is the last piece I have of my dad who’s no longer here.
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7points
#38
I considered it, but in the end it just didn’t feel right to me. My name is my name - being married just didnt seem like reason enough to change it.
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7points
#39
I’ve heard people I love say ‘it’s not even your name, it’s your dad’s’ and I get so frustrated because ??? my fiancé’s last name is just his dad’s too? WTH kind of argument is that? So now I’m keeping it out of spite.
anon
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#40
Mine is Van blaricom and his is Nelson. I can’t give up a life time of Van blaricom for Nelson to be so fr ☹️💔
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6points
