Pew Research Center has recently analyzed government data and found out that millennials are taking a different path in forming, or rather not forming, families. Millennials are less likely to live with a family of their own than previous generations were at the same stage of life.
We can safely say that marriage is not the trendiest thing among 23-38-year-olds right now, and given that, it’s only fair how little we know about what it is like to form a family unit. So when someone asked married folks “What's something you wish unmarried people knew?” on r/AskReddit, it immediately turned into an illuminating thread.
The honest answers can seriously change the way you think of marriage, finally showing how incredibly hard, yet rewarding navigating married life can really be. Have some thoughts to share? Hit us in the comments below!

#21

Your spouse is going to change. They will not be the same person you married 2, 5, 10, 20 years ago. Then once you've learned that, they will change again. Just like you will evolve and change as time goes by.
Don't be keyed in on the idea of the person you married on your wedding day. You need to understand how to grow with them and love them for who they are at that moment.
Sometimes you need to "break up with them." My wife and I went through a rut around our 7th year of marriage. We had become completely different people and we needed to find a way to fall in love again.
I had to forget everything I knew about the woman that I married and get to know this "new" woman that was next to me. Our hobbies and interests have changed and so I had to take the time to get to know those things about her. Our spiritual beliefs had changed. I had to open myself up and learn about her new journey to find herself.
Marriage is an ever adapting and evolving relationship. It's a ton of emotional work but if you can let go of your preconceptions of that person a
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73points
And the third misconception is that "marriage will save you from loneliness." “This is one of the most common misconceptions among people with codependency. They think that another person will fill their inner void. But this is not true. You cannot run away from yourself,” she said.
“When someone gets married, they hope their partner will be there all the time. But it is physically impossible. Only you can fill your inner emptiness. And in such a situation, it is best to deal with your internal problems and loneliness before getting married,” Natalie concluded.
#22

Marry your friend, not your lover. Be friends first, then lovers.
Also - both should put more in than they take.
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66points
#23

The 'dating phase' of your life never ends, if you're doing it right.
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65points
#25

You are planning to be together FOREVER. Let your partner go hang with their friends without you occasionally. I knew a couple who had been together for years and husband wanted to go skateboarding with his friends. Wife wanted to sit at home watching tv and told him he “wasn’t allowed” I thought that was absurd. If he’s doing it every day. Sure. But once in a while?
That being said, if hyper codependency is your bag, go for it. But make sure you know it’s your partners bag too. Yknow?
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60points
#26

THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT EVERYTHING, AT ALL TIMES!!!
If you don't, prepare for the eventual divorce. Communication is key.
Took me a long time to figure that one out, marriage improved enormously. Been married 14 years and counting.
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59points
#27

Go on a road trip together. Travel together before marriage. Close quarters and tough situations will give you insights into who that other person is.
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56points
#28

Do not rush into marriage, and make sure you have multiple serious talks about everything (few examples: religion, family, friends, goals for near future, goals for future, plan for kids, lifestyle, housing, retirement.)
The reason I say multiple talks is because people grow or change the longer they are with each other.
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52points
#29

Choose someone you like as a person and whose company you genuinely enjoy. Don't just choose them because they are cute, sexy, wealthy, tick all the boxes you have in your head about what a partner should look like.
You will spend a LOT of time with the person you marry. When you come home from a hard day at work, when you are sick, family gatherings, holidays, vacations, down time, I just wanna chill moments, weddings, funerals, dinners, breakfasts, for about 60 years if you are lucky...
That is a long .ss time. You better enjoy their company.
Tldr: if you can't stand the idea of sharing 5x52x60= 15600 meals with a person, don't marry them.
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45points




