Some couples are so focused on getting things ready for their amazing wedding that they don’t spend enough time thinking about what happens after saying, “I do.” The realities of married life might clash with their expectations (if any) about what it would all be like, and it might lead to some resentment, fiery arguments, and overall bitterness. Fortunately, not all hope is lost!
There’s a lot of wisdom hidden on the internet—you just need to know where to look. And handy tips and tricks about married life are no exception. Married internet users, tried-and-tested veterans of long-term relationships, took to the r/AskReddit subreddit to share their best bits of advice that they think every non-married couple should know before tying the proverbial knot.
We’ve collected their best insights into married life, so scroll down and have a read, dear Pandas. From how vital it is to support one another to keeping date nights alive and well and beyond, you’ll find a wealth of heartfelt relationship guidance below.
I reached out to dating and relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man project, for his insights on marriage and married life. "In my experience, marriage has been completely different to just being in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Since both my wife and I take the vow of marriage seriously and have sincerely married each other, we treat each other as though we really are going to be together for life," Dan, who has been together with his wife for 9 years, told Bored Panda.
"When you’re in a marriage for real, you approach the relationship in a way where you are in it for life and therefore, you sincerely care about how you make the other person feel and their experience in the relationship on a daily basis. They are literally the most important person to you and you act accordingly." Scroll down to take a peek at the expert's other thoughts on married life, dear Readers.
When you’re done reading, you might want to check out this Bored Panda article right here about married life. And if you’re in a healthy, happy relationship, why not share your own married life tips in the comments? We’re sure you’ve got some great ideas, Pandas.
#21
"The one" does not exist. There are many. Different people from different situations create different relationships. There is not only one way to live your life. There are many paths, many potential partners. Just make sure the one you chose is good for you.
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31points
#22
My dad always told me "Son, don't marry the girl you can't live without; marry the girl you can live with"
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27points
#23
My wife and I have a word, when spoken, we have to drop everything, halt hostilities, and go cuddle each other for at least 5 minutes.
And then.. she forgets what she was mad about!
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25points
#24
I tied the knot with my wife 2.5 years after first meeting her. (really, really fast)
I've dated girls longer than I've known my wife. Don't get married because you have to, don't get married because "Well, it's been long enough we should probably do the thing." Get married because you know you can live with their quirks for the rest of your life, and get married when you're ready.
You are about to gain an entirely new side to your family. All their drama, all their family events, all their everything, and it's the most shocking part. Basically double your current amount of time you need to spend with relatives.
Your partner comes first, and as long as you both think this you'll be fine. When you have kids remember that you loved your partner first.
You guys are a TEAM. "The one who cares least controls the relationships" is terrible advice because that's not a relationship, that's a competition. It's not you vs them, it's both of you vs everyone else. Have their back, and they'll have yours. In other words, don't worry about wearing the pants in the relationship.
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24points
#25
Know what each others 'Love Language' is. There are 5: Physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving, act of service, and quality time. One of these is your major love language and the other is your minor. These are what your partner can do for you to make you feel loved. Once you know how to make your partner feel loved and visa-versa it makes for such a wonderful relationship.
It's good to know these because, for example, you may think that showering your partner with gifts is a way to show love because that is how you feel loved. When, in fact, making them a cup of coffee in the morning means a lot more because 'act of service' is their love language.
Take the quiz at: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Trust me....take it!!!!
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24points
#26
My Grandpa told me some interesting advice once. He knows he lived in a different time but he said if he had to do it all over again he would do two things:
He wished he hadn't had kids right away. I mean he loved his kids, and he would have had 10 had my grandma let him. But after they were gone they traveled, and he told me that he saw a lot of things that 25 year old him would have killed to do, but at 60 he was too old. He did not mean waiting 10 years, but he wished instead he and my grams had done a little more traveling in their youth during the first 2 years of their marriage. He was a sailor in the Navy and had seen the world, so he took for granted some of the things he missed out on.
Live with each other. He said the HARDEST adjustment he went through was living with my grandma. Everyone has quirks and trust me some of them are going to drive you absolutely crazy. He definitely did not mean for a long time, but he said he wished he and my grams had moved in during the period in which they were engaged. I mean he and my grams were happily married for 62 years until he passed, but he said that was by far the hardest adjustment.
Now Im not married, but Ill tell you, this seems like good advice from the person who had the happiest marriage I have ever been witness too, and for a WW2 generation he lived the American Dream, had a house 4 kids all graduate college, 5 grand kids... Maybe not everyone's ideal, but he died a very happy man at 85
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22points
#27
Regarding the commitment you're making, you are (or should be) signing up to stick by the person you're marrying. This means you marry the person they are, but you also marry any version of the person they'll become. Everyone goes through changes, and by design marriage is supposed to be a commitment to endure those changes whatever the case.
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22points
#28
Sometimes, doing stuff you hate or dislike doing for the sake of the other, and actually doing it with a positive attitude, will bring you closer and you’ll change for the better as a person.
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20points
#29
Touch each other every day.
It's proven to help maintain your relationship bond, keep the happy bonding chemicals fresh, and it's good for your health. It's easy and pleasant, it has huge pay off, and you will be happier.
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19points
#30
You need to actually sit down and discuss what you view as your future. I had some friends horribly break up; they were of two different religions and it hadn't been an issue as they didn't really practice and did Jewish holidays with one, Christian the other, nbd. Apparently the wife thought that even though they were doing both, the kids would be of her religion because the mother is the one who passes the religion along, and he thought they'd continue celebrating both. It ended up being the end of the marriage. How they got that far without realizing that religion was an issue is unknown to me, but I'm also not the only person who knows someone this happened to.
Also: Money. You need to talk about your money expectations for the future.
I was told when I was engaged that the most common things married couples fight about are money and where to spend the holidays, and it seems to be totally accurate.
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16points
