Person Asks What Married People Want All Unmarried People To Know About Married Life, 30 Deliver

Dan, the founder of The Modern Man, explained to Bored Panda that dating and marriage are very different ball games entirely. "Dating is for now and marriage is for life, so people’s behavior and treatment of each other usually adjusts to suit that," he said.

"I say ‘usually’ because some people make the mistake of treating a marriage more like a dating relationship," the relationship expert noted that some people don't think about how their behavior will affect the other person in the long run, they keep an eye open for other relationship opportunities, and they become emotionally detached. "As a result, the marriage falls apart over time."

I was interested to get to grips about whether things change drastically after marriage for a couple or if most long-term relationships inevitably change over time. Relationship expert Dan said that a lot depends on a couple's perspective on marriage. How a couple thinks about marriage, what it means to them, and how sincere they are about spending the rest of their lives together shapes their relationship.

In his experience, marriage is vastly different from dating. He and his wife view marriage very seriously, as though it really is for life, like in everyone's vows. "Having that kind of attitude, or using that kind of approach in a marriage, results in both people behaving a lot better in the relationship," Dan said. This way, neither person takes the other for granted, they truly care about each other, they don't become annoying to the other. What's more, healthy married couples honestly want the best for each other and continue to make long terms plans with one another. In contrast, unmarried relationships can sometimes be less serious and committed because one or both people might not really care if it breaks up one day.

Dan stressed the fact that when you "marry for real," you don't view it as a temporary thing. The decision changes your life. "It’s a huge part of your life experience because the other person is literally going to be there the whole way, so you don’t want to mess up the happy, in love dynamic that you’re experiencing together. You want the love and good times to last for life, so it encourages you to be a better person in the relationship."

Back in July, I interviewed Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society about healthy married life. They told Bored Panda that some people are far too focused on the wedding than the marriage.

"In the image-conscious, social media-driven world we currently live in, it's so easy to get caught up in the visual aesthetics of how your wedding looks. So much focus goes into planning the day that the actual reason for the day can get lost," they revealed to me earlier.

"Thankfully, there's a big trend now to go back to what's authentic, meaningful, and significant. That means focusing your day around highlighting what your relationship means to you rather than how the public think it should look. It's an amazing trend and we're 100% here for it,” Anna and Sarah said that things are changing somewhat.

"We do find that couples who set some time after the day for a honeymoon to spend with each other and celebrate what's just happened in your relationship together (rather than jumping straight back into day-to-day life) can be hugely beneficial," they told Bored Panda.

"You'll never get this time back so it's important to relish it. That said, it really doesn't matter how amazing your wedding is. If it's not formalizing a relationship that has a good foundation, it ain't gonna make the relationship last. That much we know for sure."

I also have a lovely chat about long term relationships with expert Alex Scot. She stressed the fact that we need alone time, that we need to take care of our individual needs, and that we can’t do absolutely everything as a couple.

"When we take time to ourselves, we are meeting our own needs, feeling autonomous, and it allows us time to miss our partner. Without regular alone time within our relationships, we can become drained and even resentful," Alex told Bored Panda.

The relationship expert detailed that we shouldn’t obsess over the idea of finding ‘the one’ who perfectly matches us. What’s more important is being grounded and finding a partner whose core values align with ours. They also need to have healthy relationship skills or at least the willingness to work to develop them.

"When we get hung up on this concept of 'the one,' we are less present with whoever we are dating at any specific moment because of this fear or curiosity that something out there is better—which leads to serial dating,” she said.

"For some reason, we step into adulthood, get into long-term relationships and believe we must 'adult' now and get serious, which leads us to denying ourselves of playtime. To get that spark back, go do something new together, play a game together, or revisit a nostalgic spot or activity,” Alex suggested that being playful can help reignite our feelings for our spouse if we feel things have gotten cold, grey, and mundane.