We all have that friend, or family member, the one who always says their life is perfect but in reality, they are anything but happy. Just imagine this for a second - you're at a wedding, having a great time, and then, out of nowhere, a family member decides it’s the perfect time to lecture you about your life choices. Sounds familiar? Well, that's exactly what happened to our protagonist, a fabulous 45-year-old woman who had just about enough of her cousin's unsolicited marriage advice.
More info: Reddit
Married woman, who pressures 45-year-old single cousin to get married for two decades, finally gets told the truth about her relationship
Image credits: Danik Prihodko (not the actual photo)
Woman loves her life and enjoys being single, repeatedly tells her cousin to stop insisting she get married
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman blows up and snaps at her cousin at a family wedding, after once again she is nagged by her about marriage
Image credit: IndigoBlueish
“I would die a slow death if I was in a marriage like hers”: the woman tells her cousin that her marriage is miserable and that she prefers her single life over such a relationship
Our leading lady, let’s just call her Jane, has always been a free spirit. She loves her single life, has a great job, enjoys expensive hobbies and has an active social life. Although she has been proposed to multiple times, marriage has never been a priority for Jane. She's been financially independent since she was only 22 and has always really enjoyed the freedom of making her own decisions. However, her 55-year-old cousin is on a different page of the book.
The cousin has been married for many years but has had a lot of issues in her relationship. From infidelity to financial dependency, the cousin’s marriage seemed like it had been ripped out of a toxic relationship textbook. Despite this, she has never missed the chance to tell her dear cousin she should settle down and get married, as if her married life was a fabulous show.
This 20-year-long bullying session finally reached a breaking point at a family event, a wedding. While Jane was enjoying the party, the cousin once again started on her usual tirade about how Jane should marry. Jane, having heard this for over two decades, finally snapped. She told her cousin that her marriage sounds miserable: “I would die a slow death if I was in a marriage like hers”, Jane recalls. Ouch! That hit Jane’s cousin like a ton of bricks.
The cousin was shocked, to say the least. She painted Jane as the villain, claiming she was mean and disrespectful. But let's be real, after 20 years of constant nagging, who wouldn't lose their cool? Jane’s response was a statement of her happiness and independence.
Things took another turn when Jane’s generous nature stirred more drama. She decided to gift her second car to her niece for her 16th birthday. The cousin, feeling entitled, called Jane asking why she didn't give the car to her own child who "needed it more." Jane's response? "It's my car and my choice. Deal with it." Talk about setting boundaries.
It is obvious that Jane’s cousin was feeling entitled, based on the genetic connection the two ladies shared. However, just because Jane is related to her cousin doesn’t mean that she is obligated to have a relationship with her. According to experts, “genetic relational entitlement is a perception that one is owed a relationship with a genetic relation. Many people believe they are entitled to relationships with adult family members solely because they are a genetic relative. It does not matter if those family relationships have actual value or not”.
Image credits: Drew Coffman (not the actual photo)
The woman’s family agree with her, saying that the cousin should stop being intrusive and giving unsolicited advice
Luckily, Jane’s parents, and even the cousin’s parents, were on our leading lady’s side. They had repeatedly told the cousin to stop her nagging and intrusive behavior. But, despite all these interventions, the cousin continued with her judgmental ways.
Experts agree that the best way to deal with intrusive or difficult family members is by setting clear boundaries. We may think that we communicate our boundaries effectively, but some people just require an extra touch of firmness. In Jane’s case, she could tell her cousin that she would not be seeing her unless she accepts her lifestyle and stops judging her. Another thing Jane could do in this situation would be to switch perspective. “Attempting to see another person’s perspective can mean not that we suddenly agree with them, but that we can stop taking things so personally,” the article explains.
Jane’s story should be a reminder that it’s okay to live life on your own terms and to push back when others try to dictate your choices. According to the netizen gallery, Jane was not a jerk in this situation. She was someone who was tired of being told how to live her life.
So, what do you think? Did Jane do the right thing by finally telling her cousin off, or should she have continued to bite her tongue? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments side with the woman, saying she was brave to tell the truth and that she was not a jerk for snapping at her cousin
