Romantic relationships are a lot more difficult in real life than what you see on the silver screen. For one, walking down the aisle on your Big Day isn’t the culmination of everything. It’s the start of a new era with your soulmate. And marriage requires a ton of consistent work and effort.
In a brutally candid and practical thread on the ‘AskOldPeople’ online group, married couples revealed the harshest truths they found out about marriage the hard way. We’ve collected their pearls of wisdom to help you level up your love life. Keep scrolling to read them.
#41
That most marriages, even good ones, can benefit from speaking with a marriage counselor. Every marriage needs a tune up from time to time.
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4points
#42
People grow up in different family cultures. Some families encourage people to be more individualistic while other families encourage a more community-first orientation.
If you grew up in a family where everyone pitched in and took care of one another and your spouse grew up in a family where everyone put themselves first, you will need to develop good boundaries or your marriage will become unbalanced.
If you go the extra mile to take care of them and they respond to your requests with "I don't want to do that," you might feel hurt and taken advantage of. Meanwhile, they feel fine about the situation. You need to learn how to signal when you really need their support on something and also to allow yourself to tell them when you don't want to do something.
If you grew up in a family where everyone pitched in and took care of one another and your spouse grew up in a family where everyone put themselves first, you will need to develop good boundaries or your marriage will become unbalanced.
If you go the extra mile to take care of them and they respond to your requests with "I don't want to do that," you might feel hurt and taken advantage of. Meanwhile, they feel fine about the situation. You need to learn how to signal when you really need their support on something and also to allow yourself to tell them when you don't want to do something.
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4points
#43
I sort id disagree that marriages have to be "worked on"
If you are compatible. It shouldn't be hard work.
And I truly think that if you constantly need to be going to marriage counselling, you aren't compatible. Give up.
Sure you will have some hard times. But should not be regular . And you should be able to resolve 99% of problems yourselves.
If you are compatible. It shouldn't be hard work.
And I truly think that if you constantly need to be going to marriage counselling, you aren't compatible. Give up.
Sure you will have some hard times. But should not be regular . And you should be able to resolve 99% of problems yourselves.
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3points