Recently, I have seen a few of my close friends get married, and if there’s anything I have learned, it is that marriages require a lot of work from both people. After all, it’s hardly a relationship if one person is emotionally checked out, right?
Unfortunately, this guy felt that his wife was done with their marriage after they opened it and she turned into a whole different person. It slowly made him realize what her real motive had been all along, and the brutal truth totally shattered him! Here’s what happened…
More info: Reddit
An open marriage can be a quick disaster if both partners are not on board with the idea
The poster was happily married to his wife for over a decade, but when she suggested the idea of an open marriage, he willingly agreed
However, it shocked him how quickly she started a fling with her coworker, so he wanted to press pause on the whole idea, but she refused
In couples therapy, she made everything about herself, and he was heartbroken to realize that she had emotionally checked out of their relationship
What hurt him even more was that she was still in touch with her fling, even after he and their therapist had asked her to pause their open marriage for a while
When the poster asked her to cut ties with her fling, she refused to listen, which broke his trust, so he had a teary meltdown and started grieving their lost marriage
Image credits: Level_Hold6385
The poster also found out that she had used the open marriage card just to cheat guilt-free, and he realized that there was no saving their doomed relationship
In today’s heartbreaking story, the original poster (OP) mourns his marriage after it took a sad turn. He had been with his wife for 15 years, and they had been married for over a decade when she suggested opening it. He gladly welcomed the idea, but it turned out to be a huge mistake. The author was totally shocked when his wife immediately started a fling with her older coworker.
He quickly realized that an open marriage was not his cup of tea, but she refused to go back to being monogamous. Well, he suggested couples therapy, which turned out to be all about her, as he barely got to say what he wanted. However, he did notice some major changes in her behavior. Not only was she emotionally distant, but even their physical intimacy dwindled.
Much to his shock, she was still in touch with her fling, even when he and their therapist had asked to pause their open marriage until they worked things out. He had a teary meltdown and asked her to cut contact, but she refused, and he completely lost the trust he had in her. Although she was breaking his heart every day, the OP didn’t want to give up on them and their kids.
Meanwhile, his wife seemed like her normal self, and even confessed that she had planned the open marriage for her coworker, which further hurt our guy. In his last update, she saw him looking glumly at his phone, said it frustrated her, and drove away. Well, it just made the poster realize that their marriage was doomed, and no matter what he did, there was no saving it.
According to Pew Research, about 33% of Americans believe that open marriages are acceptable. However, a psychologist specializing in marital and family therapy argues that open marriages destroy love and commitment. He believes that they are worst-case “solutions” for unresolved marital problems and confusion about what a marriage is and what it’s not.
Well, to each his own, I guess, but in the OP’s case, it was clear that his wife just used it to cheat guilt-free and emotionally checked out of their relationship. Research highlights that “such neglect in marriage is characterized by the absence of empathy, validation, and emotional engagement. This leaves partners isolated, with a diminished psychological well-being, despite sharing space.”
The author also claimed that he could no longer trust her. Experts emphasize that when trust erodes in a relationship, it can impact the mental and physical health of the victim. They might suffer from sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, and chronic stress, which can even have adverse effects on their immune system. No wonder the poster kept saying that it hurt him terribly.
Netizens were quick to advise him that staying just for the sake of their kids was a bad idea. After all, the little ones can quickly pick up all the tension between adults, and separating from his wife was probably for the best. Do you agree with what the commentators suggested? We would love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to jot them down in the comments below!
Netizens were shocked by his wife's cruelty, and many advised him to leave her instead of staying for the kids, which would be more dire
